burt_reynolds  
stripcreator donor


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I think the best thing that ever happened to me was Cannonball Run. I say this because I met my dear friend, Dom DeLuise. The man could flat-out make me laugh. One time he had me tie his hands behind his back and stick an 18-pound turkey over his head. Damned if he didn't eat his way out of that thing in 45 minutes. I actually have a Super-8 of the whole process. Damn, I'll miss him. Rest in peace, old friend, you were always a warrior soul. What? Not dead? Well, looks like I have a few phone calls to make.

by burt_reynolds
1-16-04
Hello, Angry Baby, why haven't you returned my phone calls? Don't you miss me?
Yes, I have missed you, Newport Light Menthol cigarette, but my life is better without you.
Don't say that, after all the good times we've had. Singing karaoke with those *****s on New Years, doing coke with Nicky Hilton, three-ways with the Bush twins...
Stop it, talking cigarette man. Those times are over. Now I have to wear a diaper made out of nicotene patches.
How's that working out?
Every time I pee, my dink takes a nice trip to flavor country.

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