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"Today is the day where I became only half as stupid as I use to be."

or if you fancy pooper-heroes

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Well...That went better than expected.
I don't think your mom particularly likes me.
Oh, hush! Mom just wants us BOTH to be happy.
Then why did she get so upset when I complimented her?
Honey, a female monkey is very sensitive about how red her butt is.
Well...I guess she shouldn't have been rubbing the mashed potatos all over it.
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