Dude... I just got released from the hospital. I spent three weeks in ICU! I'll tell you all about my horrid affair...
Groovy!
I was at the zoo, in the Gorilla area, when I was brutally attacked by a silver-back! He beat the shit out of me, then preceded to sodomize me for over eight hours straight before I was rescued!
Oh, wow! That sound's terrible... How do you feel?
How do I feel? How do I feel? That goddamn gorilla hasn't written! He hasn't called! No flowers, no candy... Nothing!