All comics by flipynif1

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by flipynif1
2-23-05
Gotta air this out, man am I unfresh today
Woops destroyed the city better aim the other way
Hey baby you are HOT!
Now with the mental scars she gave him will forever be turned gay
Oh Sorry, what was that, I did not hear you
HOLY FUCK! WHAT A STENCH!!!!

 

by flipynif1
2-23-05
Can I suck your dick? I just got my tongue pierced
Really? I don't even have to give you a corny pickup line or buy you a shot of Gin?
Nope! TV has showed me that sex is okay with anyone at any age
Hmmmm.....
STUPID STUPID STUPID
Can I suck your dick? I just got my tongue pierced

 

by flipynif1
2-23-05
When I grow up I wanna be a Movie Star
OK, that's a wrap, come into my trailer for your paycheck
Oh baby, close the door and lock it then take some of this YUMMY roofy pop!
Whatever you say boss!
Later....
*gobble gobble* are you sure this is going to get me a role in Bad Boys? *mrrpphh gobble*
Oh yeah, you'll get a role alright, ever heard of Paddywagon gangbangs?

 

by flipynif1
2-23-05
While singing in the church the young choirboy does not notice the Crucifix becoming unattached from the wall
AVE MARIIIIIIIIIAAAAA!!!
Man I hate this song
The Crucifix falls and kills the young man taking him to the pearly gates
Wow who would have thought that not telling anyone of all those "secret favours" for the Pastor would have gotten me to the pearly gates so fast
HALT...only those deemed worthy may enter heaven, FIRST you must suck my dick
Doing a terrible job of sucking (surprisingly since he had a lot of pastor experience) he gets sent to hell
HALT...only those deemed worthy may enter the gates of hell...BEND OVER
Man...I wish my parents were Jehovas

 

by flipynif1
2-23-05
It was a dark and stormy night and the streets were empty except for the sounds of footsteps approaching
Is...is anyone out there?
*step step step*
The footsteps get closer and closer and move faster and faster
I can hear you, WHERE DID EVERYONE GO!!!
*step step step step stepstepstepstep*
Darkness takes him and he finds himself in unfamliar surroundings
THEY ALL WENT TO ARBY'S FOR THE GIANT ROAST BEEF SANDWICH, CURLY FRIES AND A JAMOCHA SHAKE!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

by flipynif1
2-23-05
RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING...
Something seems different with that ring...somethings is wrong WITH THAT RING!!
Hours later....
...RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING...
AHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO STOP IT STOP IT...*sob sob*
On the other end
Pick up the phone prick, PICK IT UP NOW! MWAAHAHAHAHAH...Oh what the hell, i'm just gonna go over there.

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
Ring ring ring ring || The life of a tech
Good Morning tech support....Ok...you need help setting up your internet connection? Ok...we can do that... what version of windows do you use....95, 98 AND XP, at the same time! Wow Maam!
Ok...now seriously, go to My Computer right click...no, you don't have to see MY computer, see that icon on your desktop? Yeah ok now right click on my computer, no you don't have to come here
Good Morning tech support..OK you are not getting emails, are you gettin an error message? Ok, please don't swear I am not trying to be condecending, does an error message popup when you connect?
Ok, now right click on the ICON on YOUR desktop marked my computer...NO YOU DON"T HAVE TO SEE MY COMPUTER WE ARE WORKING ON YOUR COMPUTER!! Let's assume you are using XP...go to the start button..
Connect...to the internet, Ok you do need to connect to the internet to get your emails....No, you pay for the internet connection, not for me to bring them to your house...
The start button, bottom right of the screen, NO not your TV, no this isn't a race, ok go to start and left click once....ok, only once, no, that was quite a few time, only once, NO ONLY ONCE!!!

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
OK, now that you understand, press start once...ok now choose run...ok, now type inetwiz...no, not regedit, inetwiz NO NOT REGEDIT!! Don't press enter, what's typed in there? inetwiz, ok press enter
Ok sir, if i brought the emails to your house it would defeat the purpose of having the internet...the INTERNET I N T E R N E T! No the e in email doesn't stand for excersise...
Ok now it wants to know how you connect...no...that sounds like you went into regedit, you told me you typed in inetwiz...ok, yes there IS a lot of stuff in there, it HAS to be there, ok close regedit
Ok sir you have to calm down if you want me to help, do you have two phone lines? OK, then before we hang up i'll give you some instruction, ok? ok...first you must plug the phone cord...
No, erasing everything doesn't close it, left click on the X in the top right, NO DO NOT ERASE EVERYTHING!! CLOSE THE WINDOW NOW! Ok, you just erased everything, no, ididn't tell you to do that..*sigh
into the back of your computer...no not now, wait till i'm sone...NOT NOW *click.*

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
These calls can take a while
The registry is extremly important for Windows to run and erasing it fubarred your PC...no that's not what I said to do..unfortunatly they don't pay me enough to buy you a new PC
Good afternoon tech support, oh hello again..yes I know your emails wouldn't come in, I didn't finish telling you how to configure your computer...yes I did say unplug the phone first
ok i'll transfer you to the manager....no he will not buy you a new computer either...ok i'm transferring you right now...please calm down...*click*
but not untill I was done telling you how...please stop swearing at me, no i'm not hacking your computer sir..yes I understand they are everywhere..well if you don't want the internet then why have it
He transfers her and of course as soon as he puts the phone down, RING RING RING
Uh oh, there is some desperation to that ring....could it be....Hello tech support..ok the manager said that no one is paying for your computer, i'm proud if your husband won the UFC championships....
Well you need the internet to get those emails sir, no I will not bring them to your house, no that's is not what you are paying for, don't you remeber what we talked about?

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
Another call another waste of 40 minutes of my life.
Good Morning tech support...ok ...so what you are saying is that your computer is completely broken and it's MY fault...ok...let's look at this
Do you get an error message when you turn your PC on? No...ok...does it lock up? No.....ok what do you see on your screen...Black? What happens if you wiggle the mouse?
RINGRINGRING
That fixed it? Oh my...no I didn't do anything here...no I am not God....please don't send me any presents, i'll just be here to help when you call tomorow Ms. Applejuice..ok bye. *click
Man I need a coffe...DAM PHONE...hello tech support...you don't say, YOU DON'T SAY!!! OH MY GOD YOU DON"T SAY!!!! *click
Ba dum dum!
That sounded serious what's up another layer 8 issue (user problem)
He didn't say!

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
Does this day ever end?
Good morning tech support...oh our servers are down? Not the last time I checked...Ok, please calm down, I know your computer is brand new so it MUST be us..i'll go check, please hold
This stripcreator site will help me pass the time between moronic phone calls about bullshit that i get blamed for because aparently I own the whole internet
In the server room
BZZZT BZZZT SHRACKLE BZZZTTTT
Well what do ya know...screw her, I AM NEVER WRONG!
Thank you for holding...it appears everything is running fine here, I suggest you take your PC back to where you got it and have them fix it...oh Ebay? Ok you may want to book a flight to england then
I think i'll make comics about my job...on second thought Nahhh that would be so lame, i'm falling asleep thinking about it...*snore drool*

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
Remeber that client I told to fly to Englad to get her computer fixed? She called the boss on me and YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? He fired me!! Can you belive it??
Well you DID make her spends thousands of dollars because you wouldn't admit that the server was on fire.
SO? The boss knows that everyone who calls is an idiot why didn't he defend me saying that the people in England were lying?
You've only worked here for 3 days and so far you've tried to have sex with all the employees, male or female, what do you think he was gonna do
Wanna fuck?
Only if a client calls, I want them to hear that in the background.

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
Argon is now gone and John is left to his own at the HELP DESK FROM HELL
Well with Argon gone at least I can work without being sexually harrased every break...GRRR STUPID PHONE!...Ahem, Good Afternoon help desk...No he doesn't work here anymore..no i'm not naked...*click
Hey, i'm the new Help Desk Analystâ„¢ how are you
Oh my god I cannot belive my eyes..She is so beautiful...I just wanna touch her boobs, I am mentally undressing her right now!
Uhm...Hello? Are you ok? Why are you staring at my chest?
I LOVE YOU!! Will you marry me?
Yeah, they warned me about you. Now please mentally DRESS me NOW perv boy.

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
WAAAAAHHHHHH You broke my heart...I thought we were meant to be FOREVER!! *Sob boohoohoo*
Uh yeah...Anyway thanks for mentally dressing me back up...uhm..what did they say..oh yeah...WOULD YOU KNOW THE POP SERVER ADDRESS...that should cure him
HAHAHAHHA YOU DON'T KNOW IT, YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR 3 MINUTES!! HAHAHAH YOU ARE PATHETIC
Everything is back to normal (as normal as it gets)
Good afternoon tech support....ok but first I gotta tell ya *chuckle* this new girl DOESN'T KNOW THE POP SERVER ADDRESS!! CAN YOU BELIVE IT...YOU'RE LIKE 87 YEARS OLD AND YOU KNOW IT HAHAHAHA
Good afternoon tech support....Ok that in the background...it's just the other support analyst surfing molested children websites...how can I help you

 

by flipynif1
2-26-05
The next day RING RING RING
Good Morning Tech support....ok so let me get this straight...when you open Outlook Express you computer tells you that you performed an illegal action...no the cops aren't coming...it's ok..
Man Tommy lee is HUNG...take it ALL Pam take it ALLLLL
You will need to to reinsta...The sirens aren't for you...no you can get out from under the desk...no I doubt the shooting is aimed at you..WHAT? THEY HIT YOU? SHIT! RUN RUN
My chair is starting to get slippery...oh yeah, she can take it ALLL OH YEAH! This is top notch porn...making...me...so...uhh
RUN LADY RUN...Shit...no don't tell them a thing...DON'T GIVE THEM MY NAME!! What?? I didn't mastermind anything?? Put the police on the phone, PUT THEM ON THE PHONE *click hummmmm*, Uh Lady?
I'll be right back, just need to use the can for a sec...uhhhh..

 

by flipynif1
2-28-05
Later that day...
The phone hasn't rang for about 10 minutes....this is just the calm before the storm...
Excuse me, are you the gentleman who was just talking to Ms. Beazebub?
YIKES...I mean yes, don't mind me I just have a cold.. Whoa, what's all this cracked software and hacking utils on here?? SOMEONE must have been using my PC
So a cold would cause you to scream yikes when talked to and become very nervous and shaky? Hmmm, you should tell people to stay off your PC then...what is that pic....OH MY GOD THOSE ARE CHILDREN!
NO THEY AREN'T NO THEY AREN'T It's midgets i swear!!!
OK thats fine then, back to the point, you have been implimented in the worlds largest drug bust and preschool prostitution ring in the world...come downtown with me

 

by flipynif1
2-28-05
Soon at the station
WAAAAAAH I am just a Help Desk Analystâ„¢, not some crime lord!
Ms. Beazebub thinks different, you are being charged with any unsolved crime that has ever happened, JACK THE RIPPER or should I say THE ZODIAC KILLER or should I say.....
NO NO STOP IT STOP IT...I'll tell you anything ANYTHING!!
Well there is one thing that might set you free, do you know the pop server address?
WHAT?? HAHAHAHAHAH YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOR 10 MINUTES AND YOU DON'T KNOW THE POP SERVER ADDRESS?? HAHAHAH EVEN BUBBA HERE KNOWS IT!! HAHAHA
Well you and Bubba are gonna get REAL close now, HEY BUBBA, I GOT YOU A NEW BOYFRIEND!!

 

by flipynif1
2-28-05
HAHAHAH...wait a minute...I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING?? LET ME TALK TO MY LAWWWWYYYYYER!!!
HAHA you should have thought about that BEFORE you laughed at my ignorance of the pop server! MWAHAHAH OK BUBBA HE'S ALL YOURS!!
zzzzziiiiiippp
GET OVER HERE BOY, YOU'RE MINE NOW!! LETS DO IT LIKE THEY DO ON RAPE.COM!!
Uh haha, h-hi b-bubba, where do you plan to put THAT!
YOU HEARD ME, TIME TO PAY THE PIPER!! or should I say CHANGE MY DIAPER!!
I can't look...huh?

 

by flipynif1
2-28-05
You're bubba, who was that huge black guy beside you with his penis out staring at me?
YEAH I'M BUBBA BEOTCH, THAT WAS MY OTHER BOY TOY LANCE!! I TOLD HIM TO START MAKING YOU SOME APPLEJUICE!
Uh, is there something I can do to prevent drinking Lances pee pee?
PEEPEE?? YOU SAY PEEPEE HOW OLD ARE YOU 3? WELL THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO FOR ME BUT I DON't KNOW IF YOU CAN HACK IT....
I MUST KNOW THE POP SERVER ADDRESS, MY OLD LADY IS SENDING ME PICS OF MY SON AND I CANNOT RECEIVE THEM
HAHAHAHAH YOU ARE TRULY PATHETIC, HAHAHAH AREN'T YOU A BIG SHOT...YOU HAVE TALKED TO ME FOR 2 MINUTES AND YOU DON'T KNOW THE POP SERVER ADDRESS HAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU PATHETIC LITTLE BABY HAHAAHAHAH

 

by flipynif1
3-02-05
So I was at the bar last night and this fag comes up and grabs my junk...I beat the shit out of him and they kicked ME out
So I guess sticking it in your ass it out of the question?
Hey, don't get me wrong, I'll take it anyway I can, just ask!

 

by flipynif1
3-03-05
Unknowingly to the teacher our hero lets out a silent but VERY deadly fart
Hey teacher I just had a long answered question for you....can you tell me pi to the last decimal place?
Hmmmm Pi? ok 3.1415...sniff uh...92
Go on...
*gag* 65...buuuuu....35 *gag*
Is something wrong? MWAHAHAHAHAH
89793238462643......GOTTA GO!!

 

by flipynif1
3-04-05
Uncle Clyde gets a visit with little suzy
Hey Suzy pull my finger
Haven't you had enough embarrasement for one day...you've already been slapped three times for touching womens asses, I even slapped you
Suzy I said pull my finger, you don't want me to give you the "rod of justice" again do you!!
NO I dont' want the rod of justice again, it makes me walk funny like I was riding a horse...ok i'll do it (cringes)
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP
HAHAHAHAHAHH, Isn't Uncle Clyde Funny???HAHAHAHA...suzy?

 

by flipynif1
3-04-05
RING RING RING RING
Hell tech support....ok let me get this straight your computer screen is black so i must have broken your PC on the last phone call when we setup your internet connection....hmmmm
I am just going to let it ring and ring...ring ring ring ring ring ring....
That's what i'm telling you, you broke it you @$%& son of a *&#^&*
Ok....is the little light on the monitor orange?
RING RING RING RING
It is? Ok well that light is the lifeline of the gremlins that live behind the glass that paint the pictures you see...they must be sick....go buy a new monitor and it will be fine!
That's it...HELLO TECH SUPPORT WTF DO YOU WANT BASTARD YOu'RE INTERRUPTING MY SURFING HERE....oh hi mom...

 

by flipynif1
3-05-05
Question 1: Do you mind Dressing up in partial army fatigues and Disco Dancing to tunes that will forever haunt highschool dances?
OK as long as I can touch your penis.
Question 2: Do you mind dressing up like a Cowboy and dancing around making the letters to YMCA and singing about young men?
You mean like...YOUNG MEN, AT THE YMCA...man that brings back some SEXY memories *drool drool * YEEE HAW RIDE 'EM LITTLE BOY...where am I again?
Question 3: Do you mind...HEY FUCKFACE THIS POSITIONS ALREADY TAKEN!!
Tha't's OK I got another position with YOU in mind...*drool drool* every heard of the Iraqi Spine Cruncher?...let me get the KY

 

by flipynif1
3-05-05
What do you get when three gay men raise a child and have sex in front of it every day?
hmmmmmm
I don't know what DO you get when to gay men raise a child and have sex in front of him every day?
The person that's readin this comic!
BWANG BWANG BWANG BWANG!

 

by flipynif1
3-05-05
Hello Tech Support...
YEAH YOU MUTHA#&*$ YOUR INTERNET TOOK ME TO A STRANGE LAND AND TURNED ME INTO A @&*$^ HORSE!! FIX IT NOW!
Uh...Hold please...Hey Dianne line 1 is for you
For me? Ok! Hello Tech support...WHAT? Uh (grr thanks Johnny) Ok so you are now a poorly drawn horse...hmmmm..are you hung like a horse? Really? How did you do it again? Ok...sec..
Hey baby

 

by flipynif1
3-05-05
Hello there little girl, my name is Hab Ebb Blingblongabwangbwang
Hi, have you seen my mommy? She left me here a month ago...
NO, would you like to be one of my wives?
Uh...i'm only 6
and?
Hmm, what would mommy do, Ok gimme $10, $15 if you wanna fist me.

 

by flipynif1
3-05-05
What do you get when your parents drop you on your head daily and make you watch while your brother gets molested
hmmmmm
I don't know what DO you get when your parents drop you on your head daily and make you watch while your brother gets molested
The person that's reading this comic
HEE HAW HEE HAW BWANG BWANG!!

 

by flipynif1
3-05-05
What do you get when you escape from the abortion bucket and get beaten into being down syndrome?
Hmmmmm
I don't know what DO you get when you escape from the abortion bucket and get beaten into being down syndrome?
The person that's readin this comic!
RRROWWW FSST FSST BWANG BWANG!!!

 

by flipynif1
3-07-05
What is the biggest difference between and straight man and someone who is gay??
hmmmmmm
i don't know what IS the biggest difference between and straight man and someone who is gay??
A straight man wrote this and a gay person is reading this
That's not even worthy of a bwang bwang

 

by flipynif1
3-07-05
HI I'm Claraballs the sorrow killer..so you had a loss....*does a clown dance* LOOK AT ME i'm a happy clown here to make your frowns upside down
*Sniffle sniffle* How can you even joke at a time like this 30 kids were just killed in that bus accident? Three of my own flesh and blood *SOB*!
Hmmm...*chuckle* Ok you got a smile out of me...thank you Claraballs you saved the day
You sick freak, 30 KIDS just died!!! OFFICER!!!
REMEMBER I DO BIRTHDAY AND BARMITSVAS .......OH YEAH YOUR KIDS DIED, NEVERMIND!!
You're coming with me you piece of shit!!

 

by flipynif1
3-07-05
The nightclub
*robotic voice* Wow this party is jumping would you not agree my friend.
Yeah DUDE and check out those ladies checking YOU out man...
*Giggle* Look at that STUD..*zrrrk*...He makes my gears shift
Yeah baby ....*ziple*.....he makes me wanna give HIM a lube job
*robotic voice* Shake it like it is not a thing babies...
Ohhhh I'm melting......*zrrrkkk*....you are SO coming home with me

 

by flipynif1
3-07-05
Ohhhh...*zrrrk*....find me at the end of the night...we'll go to my house you...*zrrk*...sexy thing
*robotic voice* Yes that sounds very nice, it was good to bump a groove with you...i'd better peace out
Yo i hear you voice and it makes me wanna bus a move, i'm the DJ in here, you betta come wit me
*robotic voice* gee that sounds terrific...I will come with you home boy
HERE HE IS BABIES!!! THE NEW STYLE O' CRIP-O-MATICS YO!
*robotic voice* are you ready to rock the house...I'M BLUE IF I WAS GREEN I WOULD DIE!!....

 

by flipynif1
3-07-05
Welcome to McBuger Queen how can I help you
*robotic voice* Hello I would like a...
Holy SHIT you're perfect ! The drive through just went on the fritz will you save the day?
*robotic voice* Yes I will save the day and consume sustanance at a later time
Stephen Hawking saves the day again...Theme music from the Littlest Hobo plays o/^
Welcome to McBuger Queen I can take your order whenever you are ready..
WOOF I would like a .....

 

by flipynif1
3-07-05
The Xmen 3 Movie Shoot
Man if we don't get Pat's Replacment we'll just have to cut out Professor X
I know, the XMEN fans would CASTORATE then CRUCIFY us if that happens
*robotic voice* Can I be of some assistance
*GASP* It's Stephen Hawking! Yes, you can assist, get right down to costumes and get ready to be PROFESSOR X...WOOT!
Stephen Hawking saves the day again...Theme music from the Littleest Hobo plays o/^
Well I thought he played an excellent role...
I miss my weenis

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
What do you get when you cross a wigger with a retarded crack whore
i don't know what DO you get when you cross a wigger with a retarded crack whore
The person thats reading this comic
OINK OINK WOOF BWANG BWANG

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
HEE HAW
Well Old Bessie it's time we thought of a new trade...farming just ain't working like it should..
HEE HAW?
It's OK Bessie, you are a good cat and, con sarn it, i'm gonna get into the film industry and make me some good money, you too Bessie
HEE HAW UH OH
COME ON LADIES, don't be shy, bessie ain't gonna hurt ya none...we's gonna make a MOVIE!!

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
Bessie makes some porno
HEE HAW *grunt grunt* HEE HAAAAWWWW
NO NO BESSIE, con sarn cat, you ain't supposed to finish in tha girl....yu wait till she puts her face thar!!
Well that's ok, FLUFFER get on thar, get that cat another hardon
Hmmm...I have an idea how about YOU get the "cat" a hardon and I film it?
HEE HAW!!
HMMM, never thought of that, THAT SOUND GOOD! Come'er bessie, let daddy have a turn

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
HEE HAW?
Ok bessie, just stand still, con sarn cat...I need to get y'all a cat hardon.
HEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWW!!!!
NO NO BESSIE, dam cat, NOT ON MA FACE and MA NEW OVERALLS!
Heeee haw....sigh
Well bessie you got a lot o that thar white chilie for a cat...I think we betta find us a drunk for you to cornhole

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
EXCA-YUSE ME, how would y'all like a chance to make a PORNO film at ma farm!
Porno...*HIC*...sound good.....i'll give ya $5 ya bologne
ALRIGHT, SADDLE UP PARTNER and get ready to meet BESSIE!
mmm...*HIC*...she sounds hot.....*gluglugglug*
Hey baby..you have pretty hair..*HIC*..i'ms gonna sex you up
HEE HAW!

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
The drunk passes out on the ground
HEE HAW?
Well that thar drunk looks ready for ya bessie, be a good cat and get on top!
HEE HAW HEE HAW HEE HAW!!
GOLLY GOSH BESSIE, Y'ALL GOTS A BIG SAUSAGE!!
HEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
YEE HAW!! YOU SHOT THAT THAR DRUNK ACROSS THE FARM!! WELL WE NEEDS TO GET SOME MORE FOR YA TO STUD CAT!

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
EXCA-USE ME SIRE WOULD Y'ALL LIKE TO MAKE A MOVIE?
Hmmm what is my role, and what do I get paid?
Y'ALL BE IN A PORNO WITH BESSIE AND I'LL BAKE YA SOME WHTE CHILLIE!
Bessie... alright sounds like a lark.
HEE HAW!
Oh...my GOD! He couldn't have meant..this..beautiful creature...my dreams have come true!! OH BABY!!

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
HEE HAW HEE HAW HEEHAW HEEHAW!
GIVE IT TO HIM BESSIE, con sarn cat, GIVE IT TO HIM REAL GOOD!
HEE HAW HEE HAW HEEHAW HEEHAW! HEE HAWWWWWWW
PERFECT, RIGHT ON HIS FACE, GOOD CAT!!
This movies gonna make y'all rich, I guess i'd better get that thar white chillie for ya
Oh believe me, i've had MY fill...are we gonna do more takes...please?

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
HEE HAW!!
Excuse me are YOU Bessie? I am famous film producer Heywood Jablowme..I would like to make you RICH!
HEE HAW HEE HAW HEE HAWW!
Is your manager around?
I am Bessies manager...would you like some white chillie?
White Chillie? Alright, sounds good!

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
Y'all like ma White Chillie?
It's stick-to-your-ribs good!...*chew chew*...now about making Bessie rich
Well that thar deal sounds mighty nice but I don't think that Bessie wants a different actor, cats are senseetive y'all know
We need to appeal to the masses, Your current actor is just not sexy enough...do you want to be rich or not?
AlRIGHT, Ya'll got yourselves a deal...YEEE HAW..do y'all want some more white chillie?
GREAT!! I'll have to pass on the chillie though, I still have enough stuck to the roof of my mouth.

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
HEE HAW
Parting is such sweet sorrow. Bessie, I will always remeber that time that we weren't being filmed...*sniffle* Can we just do it one last time?
HEE HAW!
Ok, don't be gentle, I want to remember this...*sniffle*
HEE HAW HEE HAW HEE HAW HEE HAW!!
OH BABY!

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
Heee haw
OK BESSIE, durn cat, they told me to get you into that thar plot....so you are a scientist and just created the perfect lover..now you must prove it to the world...ACTION!
Heee HAW E=MC2
I AM ALIVE...OH MASTER I MUST PROVE MY LOVE FOR YOU!!
Bessie goes on to star in a wide variety of roles...what will become of Bessie...will fame and fortune make the farm a thing of the past?
HEE HAW E=MC2 HEEEE HAAWWW!
OH MASTER...gobble gobble...

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
BESSIE STARS IN...THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN BLOWJOB!
HEE HAW!!
OH NO, you have stopped my evil plot Bessie...now I must bow to your needs...*gobble gobble*
BESSIE STARS IN KRAKAKOA: HAND JOBS FROM HELL!
HEE HAW!!
OH NO, you have stopped my evil plot Bessie...now I must bow to your needs...*gobble gobble*
BESSIE STARS IN GRIME RAPER: REVENGE IS WHITE CHILLIE
HEE HAW!!
OH NO, you have stopped my evil plot Bessie...now I must bow to your needs...*gobble gobble*

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
hee haw
Bessie, that thar direction guy says he don't think you got the heart for this anymores, dam cat, what's wrong
Happy times remembered. Daydream believer plays in the background.
HEE HAW
BESSIE LET ME TOUCH YOU ONE LAST TIME...I LOVE YOU BESSIE!
hee haw *sniff sniff*
I don't get you cat....well we better get dressed for that thar awards show on the Television

 

by flipynif1
3-09-05
At the Oscars
AND THE AWARD FOR THE BEST ACTOR IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD GOES TO....
OMG I AM LIKE SO EXCITED AND JUNK...SQUEEL!!
BESSIE....Let's hear it for BESSIE!!
HOLY FUCK GET UP HERE BESSIE WE LOVE YOU, SAY SOMETHING!!
WE LOVE YOU!!
HEE HAW, Hee haw HEE HAW Hee haww *sniffle sniffle*

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