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"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters." - Demetri Martin

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What are you doing?
Practicing for my Uncle Sam audition. I want YOU to join the army!
Stop with the patriotic bull****. I have half a mind to tell you and the real Uncle Sam where you can stick that finger!
I want you to APPEASE uncle sam like you OTTA for ME!!!
That's not where I was thinking you should stick that finger *******. And by the way, that joke TAINT funny!
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