Hey, long time no see. How's the family? How is your grandfather doing?
Funny you should ask. We thought we'd do something special for his birthday, so we took him to one of those Civil War reenactments.
Of course the old guy is getting a bit senile. So when the troops started advancing he went berserk. He ate half the Confederate army before we could stop him.
What the Fuck?
CHARGE!
Yup, he got really sick. They're right, you know... You can't keep Old Dixie down.
