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I came into the world naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.

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by itsclark
Old pal, I'm feeling restless and disatisfied. I think our relationship has grown stale.
I have just the thing, Russ! A terrific product that will cheer you right up.
Yeah, until I get bored with it and realize that my life is essentially empty IN SPITE of all the crap you've conditioned me to buy!
Don't talk like that, Russ. I'm your pal! Trust me, you'll feel all better after a nice spending spree.
I'm going for a walk. OUTSIDE! And I'm not buying a thing.
Come in Central Command! Consumerbot 90147 is in revolt! Request back-up!
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