All comics by jeditrickster

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by jeditrickster
5-06-03
Armageddon has arrived...
Greetings flesh bag, I am unit 37B-60ZEE. I am programmed to destroy all life.
No way! A talking robot!
Do you not compute? I have killed all your family and friends.
So what can you do? Can you fetch me a soda? Can you scan for intruders? How about toss me a Lightsaber in mid air?
That does it! I am not a R2 unit! *Self desruct has been initiated*
Whatever robo dude. I thought you were cool, you coulda been somebody.

 

by jeditrickster
5-06-03
Jack and Jim
"I know what you've done, and I am coming for you soon."
Hey you got some mail eh? Anything interesting? Good news I hope...
Not good news at all Jim. Somebody knows what we did. I think we're in danger.
Oh crap. What do you think we should do?
I've got the hammer and nails...
Way ahead of you buddy...

 

by jeditrickster
5-07-03
I am Death, your time has arrived.
Jeez is it time already? I mean, I just ordered my lunch.
You don't understand, Death waits for no one!
Well it's just that I'm so hungry and I haven't eaten all day...Besides, what's ten more minutes anyways?
Well I suppose it won't matter. You're going to die from a massive coronary from that triple burger with cheese anyhow.
Well I'll be damned. Well shit, I might as well add the double bacon to it then.

 

by jeditrickster
5-08-03
I'm so angry right now, I could kill someone!
Oh? And why would that be?
I heard a rumor that Mary Kate and Ashely Olsen were happily dating two young studs. They're mine damnit! MINE!
Ummm...dude? You do know they aren't legal yet right?
Well it isn't too much longer right? I mean, I figure I can wait a couple more years before I start dating them...
Yeah right, I can hear it now: "Hi I'm a crazy psycho that lives in a graveyard, wanna fuck?"

 

by jeditrickster
5-08-03
Neargh young lad! I be 'ere to pillage an plunder yer booty!
Woah there dude, nobody gonna touch my ass.
Argh, I dinna say nutin' 'bout ye arse! I've come fer ye treasure! Now show me da booty!
Ahhh! Whatever you want man! Just don't donkey punch me!
Dargh...I kinna stand dis no more. All I wanted was some gold...
Oh well why didn't you say so? If its golden showers you were into...

 

by jeditrickster
5-08-03
You know what? I'm starting to worry a bit about getting sick.
*HACK, WHEEZE*
I think I'm gonna start wearing a mask or something.
*Bleh!!! COUGH!!*
Dude are you alright? You're looking blue...
Ack! If you must know...I have SARS.

 

by jeditrickster
5-08-03
Brains! BRAINS! I hunger for brains...
Hey man...just chill ya dig? Take a seat and we can express ourselves.
No you don't understand...I'm fucking hungry. After that nuke hit, there aren't much living left, mostly us undead.
Awww what a downer man. Is there anything a cool kat like me can do for ya?
*Munch, munch* Hrump..mmmm...no you've done enough....mmm beatnick brains...

 

by jeditrickster
5-08-03
I can't wait to meet you Rachel. We've been chatting for six months and the day has finally arrived!
I know Mike, I feel as if we've known each other forever.
So where are we going to meet? How will I know it's you?
Well we can meet in the park at midnight. I'll wear something special.
Later that evening...
Holy crap! You're a dude!
I told you I'd be wearing something special for you. Wanna pinch my nipples?

 

by jeditrickster
5-08-03
Jack and Jim...
Holy crap Jim! What happened to you last night?
Oh....my head...stop yelling...
I was worried sick about you all night! And why are you in this alleyway?
I went a little crazy at the bar last night. I had 21 shots of Vodka before I insulted some midgets woman and he made me his personal bitch.
The night before, outside the bar...
*Hic* And ya know what mister? *Hic* I knew that wasn't a woman all along! *Hic* Why doncha go an get that thing to the zoo, I hear they take good care of wild animals there. *Hic* Even feed them too!
Alright that's it stick man. You better pray to Jebus and tell 'im yer comin' home!

 

by jeditrickster
5-09-03
Tonight airing on Fox is...When Aliens Attack Part 7!
Not all of us attack. Many of us are just curious about the human anatomy. We want to help mankind.
And now our segment on Alien probing methods. Hear real victims accounts of what happen-*blip*
Oh I've seen about enogh of this...
Earlier that evening...
Ahhh a Alien! Where have you taken me?! It's going to attack me like on that show!
I'd think of nothing of the sort, now hold still so I can shove this rectal thermometer up your ass. I want to see if you have a fever...

 

by jeditrickster
5-11-03
So I heard a nasty rumor...
And what might that be? Hrmmmm?
Well Fred told me that you made a pass at him the other day. He said you were a flaming homosexual.
Oh he did huh? Well did you tell him about the pussy I got last night?
You mean Jeepers here? Raymond, that is so wrong...
Well?! Pussy is pussy right? And I got one! Oh fuck this, I'm going to go shave my ass. Fred's stopping by tonight.

 

by jeditrickster
5-11-03
Man the phone bill is so high this month...all of Jim's damned 1-900 number calls...
*RING*RING* Hello Jack? Are you there?
Oh hey Jim. What's up? You're where? What did you do this time? How much did you drink? Oh for Christs sake...
Listen, I'm in jail, I don't want to talk about it, just get down here quick and bail me out...
Officer, if I were aware that it was against the law to perform sex acts on the animals in the petting zoo was wrong, do you really think I would have?
Now that's not for me to decide you sick, stick, twisted fuck. I hope the judge lets you rot.

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