I've got a clogged drain. I think it's hair. Can you come fix it?
Hair, huh? You don't suppose it's RAT hair, do you? I'll find that rodent and chew on it until it squeals ...
Look, I've just got a leak. What can you do for me?
Someone's leaking? Well, I can take a sawed-off AK-47, with teflon-coated rounds, and when I get ahold of that fink, you'll have to scrape him off the wall with a putty knife.
Hold on, you are McOnaughy, the plumber, aren't you?
No, ma'am. I'm G. Gordon Liddy. Right above McOnaghy in the Yellow Pages. A lot of people make that mistake.
