kaufman  
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Dance for me, little monkey; pun for me, my precious.

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by kaufman
7-07-03
This really happened a week ago, embellished with a wee bit of dialogue, of course ...
What a great trip. We had Papa Dels' pizza for lunch 3 hours ago, and are now in Iowa, on our way to the Field of Dreams, where we'll play some ball before heading on to lovely Des Moines ...
... where we'll spend a day at an amusement park, and then head on, ultimately hitting the Biggest Ball of Twine! But I see we're low on gasoline. I need to stop inside and use the Ladies' room.
Oh, we don't have a Ladies' room here; we just have a unisex bathroom, which you would normally be able to use, except the toilet got all clogged up. There is a man in there right now using the sink.
Oh my god, that is so disgusting ... Oh my god, that is so disgusting ... Oh my god, that is so disgusting ... Oh my god, that is so disgusting ... Oh my god, that is so disgusting ... Oh my god ...
Wait, that look on your face, I know what you're thinking. I need to choose my words better. It wasn't that, honest! He is in there washing his hands. Don't think of me that way.
She had me scared for a moment there. I mustn't think badly of small-town Iowans after all. Instead, I'll just remember this as a most hysterical story. Truth can be stranger than fiction!
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