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| My wife was on the Atkins diet for a while, and I don't trust that diet. | |
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| Because if there's one thing I remember from health class, it's "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." | |
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| But if you're on Atkins it's "An apple? Oh, no, do you know how many carbs are in an apple?" | |
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| "I'll just have some bacon, thank you. I'm watching my figure." | |
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| The other problem is, my wife's got a sweet tooth, so she eats a lot of sugarfree candy, and that sugarfree candy, it'll give you the toots somethin' awful. | |
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| I come into bed after my wife's been in there sleeping a while, I pull back the covers, and my face melts off. | |
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