Christmas is right around the corner and I've barely done any shopping. I have to buy presents for all my coworkers and all my family and all the malls are going to be packed.
Plus I have to worry about parties and engagements and trying not to offend my Jewish friends. I need to get the decorations out of the attic. Also I need to start my diet so I won't bloat out.
Then I have to worry about coffee cakes, fruit cakes, chocolate cakes, pastries, pies, cobblers, fruit salads, bunt cakes, home made breads, ice cream, homemade icecream, croissants...
Not to mention egg nog, mixed drinks, margaritas, martinis, high balls, shooters, jello shots, moonshine, speed, marijuana, opium, cocaine, speedballs, crack, heroin, nitrious oxide, hand grenades...
Damn woman, shut up! I'm trying to play solitaire on my computer and all I can hear is your bitching and moaning. You know what you need, Cathy? A deep dickin'. It'll clear your head right up.
