Hi. I'm a bear. And this is a 'natural spring' that you like the water from so much. But you know what I just did? I shit in it! Ha! You're drinking shit, ya schmuck!
There's fish in there boning too. That's why you should drink Dasani. Fish spooge all in there! And you're drinking it, ya fish cum guzzling health nut! There's nothing natural about Dasani.
It's made by Coke for goodness sake. Synthetic water! What? That sounds gross? You like fake tits, don't ya? Dasani is the fake tits of water! Drink up, jerks!
