All comics by poolord

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by poolord
10-09-01
I took a doodie in my pants...

 

by poolord
10-09-01
I'm gonna hang up this picture!
No, don't...it really sucks.
Well what should I do now then?
Why not kill yourself?
Sucker...

 

by poolord
10-09-01
Mooka looka hiney hoo?
Bleedeldee froopo!
Mekka lo basta?
Lombacki creeo plomo pleeo. Zonah. Ah-ah!
And now...robots!

 

by poolord
10-09-01
I've got a boner...
...and I can't make it stop...
...being on my head.

 

by poolord
10-09-01
Stop right there, evil doer!!!
Oh no!!! It's Captain Queer!
Yes, I'm Capta...waitaminute...NO!
Hey man, it's OK...be honest with yourself!
Wanna go back to my place then?
Cthulu like!

 

by poolord
10-09-01
Setup.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Delivery.
A beano.
A beano who?
Punchline.
Edward Norton.

 

by poolord
10-09-01
Hey, can I buy you a drink?
Umm...I don't really drink...
Umm...then can we skip straight to the sex?
Sure.
Woohoo!
Shit...the answer to that was NO!

 

by poolord
10-09-01
Hey...I'm gonna go talk to that hot chick over there!
I don't think she'll be interested...
Hey baby...lookin' for a good time?
Umm...no...I don't go for guys with chlamydia...
Did you tell her I had chlamydia?
Maybe...

 

by poolord
10-09-01
In the old days, my work was a whole lot easier. I mean, people would fear me abjectly. Children would tremble in their jerkins when they heard my name! It was terrific!
Then along comes that damned band, Blue Oyster Cult. They start sayin, "Ooh! Don't fear the Reaper! Ooh, look at me! I'm not fearing the Reaper!"
Work has been a living hell since.

 

by poolord
10-09-01
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robert Stack's chihuahua

 

by poolord
10-10-01
Funny thing happened on the way to English class today...I remembered I don't have one.
Then I realized I wasn't wearing any pants.
It stopped being funny after that.

 

by poolord
10-12-01
Hey...psst...the professor's got a boner?
Wanna know who else has one?
What class is this?

 

by poolord
10-12-01
Okay, drop the pants
Now
Awww...again?
and then...hope was lost
Yep
I hate playing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Michael Jackson

 

by poolord
10-19-01
OK, so this one time this guy comes into a restaurant and he says "Man, I haven't had anything to eat in a week!" So I bit him!
Wait...I think I told that wrong...

 

by poolord
10-24-01
Hey...phone's ringing!
RING!
Hello Neo...I'd like to tell you about the Matrix...
Sorry man, you've got a wrong number...
Oh...can I interest you in switching your long distance carrier then?

 

by poolord
11-01-01
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Becuase if they flew over the bay, they'd be BAY-GULLS! Get it? Bagels?
Ahh, go to hell.

 

by poolord
11-01-01
Why were the strawberries upset?
Because they were in a jam.
Because they were in...
Man, fuck you.

 

by poolord
11-02-01
HA HA!

 

by poolord
11-02-01
RARR! TOBOR cornhole pitiful human female!!
Hey there, big daddy. Is EVERY part of you made of rock hard METAL?
TOBOR shall ravage your interior organs!!!
Wanna go back to my place then?
Resistance is nonexistant...TOBOR confused...
Don't you worry sugar, Jessica's gonna take mighty fine care of you...

 

by poolord
11-02-01
Hi, my name is Brad...and I'm a cornhole-aholic...
TOBOR like...

 

by poolord
11-02-01
Man...I'll never achieve the ultimate orgasm...
Here...try this!
I think it's working...
Sucker...

 

by poolord
11-02-01
TOBOR remembers his childhood...
Yeah, TOBOR think's it all started when TOBOR was just a little gray robot...
Flashback!
TOBOR, when you grow up, you will be the greatest cornholer in the entire world...you may even be better than you're old man!
TOBOR's dad was educated at Oxford...he was a brilliant man...not much of a cornholer, though...

 

by poolord
11-02-01
Hi there!
HOLY CRAP! I JUST DISCOVERED BOOBONIUM!

 

by poolord
11-05-01
Someone kill me...

 

by poolord
11-05-01
Dude...you bought HOMO milk!
That's homogonized milk.
Homo.

 

by poolord
11-12-01
Man, I'm bored. Let's do something.
Why don't we assrape Gerald Ford?
Nah, we did that last night.

 

by poolord
11-12-01
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!! PH34R MY 1337 HAXX0R SK1LLZ!
You are the gayest kid I've ever met.

 

by poolord
11-30-01
DAMMIT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! Blowing Santa doesn't bring you good luck!

 

by poolord
12-05-01
Greetings. I am X-TOR1345. I am a translator robot. What is your prime directive?
I gotta go potty...

 

by poolord
12-05-01
Greetings. I am X-TOR1345. I am a translator robot. What is your prime directive?
Man sex.
Wanna tweak my nipples?

 

by poolord
12-05-01
We will eat your souls.
Word.

 

by poolord
12-05-01
X-TOR meets Jessica Clary.
X-TOR fears he shall never have companionship!
Hey....I dig robots!

 

by poolord
12-05-01
Yeah, I knew this guy once...
...not that he was important or anything...

 

by poolord
12-07-01
Hey Mom, are your hiccups better?
...
...oh, you're dead.

 

by poolord
12-10-01
So I said, 'RAARRR!!! Anal rape won't happen without TOBOR! RAAARRRR!'
Ha ha!
What the assfuck are you talking about?
You know...anal rape...

 

by poolord
1-11-02
Dude...you are SO passe...

 

by poolord
1-18-02
At the Robot Gym
I've never seen you here...are you stalking me?
...how sweet, you want to ask me out don't you?
TOBOR shall robot-rape you!

 

by poolord
1-18-02
Post-robocoitus
That was scrumptous!
Get me out of here...

 

by poolord
1-25-02
BRAINS!
Brains?
Brains.
Brains.
BRAINS!
BRAINS!

 

by poolord
1-26-02
Dude, you're such a pussy.
Well, I am what I eat.
HA HA HA HA HA HA...
Dude, wait, fuck you.

 

by poolord
1-28-02
God is dead!
I'd like to thank whoever did that.

 

by poolord
1-28-02
Hey, it's a letter from my insurance company! They're saying I'm a high risk driver!
I wonder why that is?
Maybe it's my propensity to drive while intoxicated. Maybe because I've caused 12% of all auto accidents in the past year. Maybe it's because I look at Japanese porn while driving.
Umm...
Maybe it's because I screw goats in the ass.
I think I'll just sit in this trash can for a while...

 

by poolord
1-29-02
Oh magical dog on ball, tell me: Why do you dogs sniff butts?
For the same reason one smells a rose, or an apple pie, or a fragrant soap or cheap cologne!
Because they smell good?
Oh yeah.

 

by poolord
1-30-02
*SIGH* I'm so depressed. I can't live this life anymore. I must kill myself!
Hey man, don't do that!
*
Hey man, don't do that!
*SIGH* I'm so depressed. I can't live this life anymore. I must kill myself!
Hey man, don't do that!

 

by poolord
1-30-02
*SIGH* I'm so depressed. I can't live this life anymore. I must kill myself!
Hey man, don't do that!
*
Hey man, don't do that!
*SIGH* I'm so depressed. I can't live this life anymore. I must kill myself!
Hey man, don't do that!

 

by poolord
1-30-02
*SIGH* I'm so depressed. I can't live this life anymore. I must kill myself! Goodbye world!
Don't do it man! Don't go out like that!
Use this hammer and these nails instead.
YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL, DO YOU?!
Not as such, no...

 

by poolord
1-30-02
No way dude, humans are better because we're soft and fleshy.
Yes, but your sexual organs are diminuitive when compared to robotic phalluses.
...
TOBOR WINS!

 

by poolord
2-01-02
I think I'm drowning...

 

by poolord
2-04-02
You hear about the fiber zombie?
BRAN!

 

by poolord
2-04-02
Didja hear about the railroad zombie?
TRAINS!

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