quodlibet  

What do you have to say for yourself this time, mister?

If she'd just swallowed, we wouldn't have gotten into this fix. And Bob's got a big weenie, so I guess he must have choked her too.

What does this have to do with your stupid lifeguarding job on a nudist beach?

I had to give her the Heimlich. With all of that rubbing -- you know -- I must have gotten aroused and slipped inside her without meaning to. You know.

You expect me to believe that lame excuse? Loser.

Come on. It was a nudist beach! I couldn't put a condom on! It would be breaking the rules! And I didn't love her at all! I only screwed her!