Cruel Crullers of Fate by technoatheist2-01-01 Last night I dreamed I worked for a secret organization that fought against evil aliens. They were trying to destroy civilization with evil pastry items. Granted, I was just an accountant, but we got the left over Donuts of Despair every friday morning.
polly wants some Cracker by technoatheist2-01-01 I always wanted to be a DJ. So I got a bunch of parts from Fry's and set up my own Pirate AM Radio Station Unfortunately, parrots only receive FM.
I scream, you scream, he just lies there and holds the cones by technoatheist2-01-01 It seemed like a good idea. I could use the company vehicle after hours and on weekends to sell ice cream to the kids. I'd drive all over town, ringing the bells hoping to see the kids line up on the curb. I even put those happy cartoon stickers all over the sides of the hearse.
Advanced Gere Therapy by technoatheist2-02-01 Due to an ancient family curse, every full moon I turn into a werehamster. I can take having to cover my room in wood chips and kibble every month or so... ...but waking up surrounded by bits of duct-tape is a little distrubing
Fun Time with Smokey by technoatheist2-02-01 My cat was getting kinda fat and lazy. So I got one of those laser things for him to play with. Next time, I'm turning it down to "stun".
Delivery Job. by technoatheist2-05-01 I don't think my interview went too well. They asked me what position I had at my last place of employment. I said "fetal".
C'thulu melt surprise. by technoatheist3-04-01 I've spent most of my life studying the black arts. It is well within my powers to call upon the ancient forces of creation and descruction to do my bidding. But mostly I just use it to whip up cheese sandwiches