All comics by teknomage

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by teknomage
11-27-05
Do you know Ted?
Who's Ted?
She's talking about me, except my name's Benny. "Do you know Ted?" is actually a reference to "How I Met Your Mother."
Hai. It's the best new show of the season! Mondays at 8:30 on CBS. Do you watch?
Well I haven't yet, but if you tell me they meet frequently at a cafe, I'm there, daddio!

 

by teknomage
11-27-05
Well then you're in luck, dude, cuz they do. But more importantly, it's a really funny show. Plus it's got Alyson Hannigan.
Hai, we both enjoy her, Benny-san moreso, of course. But the funniest character is Barney, played by Neil Patrick Harris.
http://www.barneysblog.com
Gotta love the Doogmeister.
But he's nothing like Doogie. He's... I dunno what to say. He's just hilarious. You should also check out his blog.
Oh, please forgive my rudeness. My name is Momoiro Nekochan, and my friend is Benny Iro.
Delighted to meet you both. So... why exactly are we meeting?

 

by teknomage
11-27-05
We're friends of teknomage. Or perhaps you know him as ektomage.
Hai, tek-san is out of town for awhile, so we thought we'd try to meet some of his old friends.
Dang, man, I thought I was done with that guy. Not that I didn't like him, y'know, it's just... damn. That cat had issues, ya feel me?
Well, yeah, it's true. But... I mean, it can be hard to find folks with common interests to ours. Besides, we have to hang with him cuz he's our producer.
Perhaps you've seen our talk show on Jacuzzi Central? It's called "Nanika atta, America?!"
Um, I don't think my cable provider carries that channel. Sorry.

 

by teknomage
11-27-05
It's copacetic, man. Not many do. Anyway... so we're from his third strip, and I understand you're from his second....
We've heard his first strip was deleted. Do you know any characters from it who might join us in this one?
You cats met the sarcastic computer?
Yo, what up Benny? We haven't met, but I like your blog. The parts that don't mention Dave, that is. I hate that guy!
Uh... oh-kayyy...
Are you supposed to be a friend of tek-san's? You don't sound like a friend, but why would he write about a computer who hates him?

 

by teknomage
11-27-05
http://bennyiro.blogspot.com/
Cuz he hates himself, too, of course. But let's not talk about that annoying loser. Want me to bring up your blog? I notice you haven't done any new entries in like a week.
Uh, no thanks, dude, maybe later.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Beatnik friend of tek-san's, what's your name?
Oh yeah, sorry, Kitten, the name's Joe Beats. I'm a poet! Maybe you could have me on your show sometime, help increase my fan base...
Well, we'll have to talk to Dave about that, but I doubt he'd mind. I gotta warn you though, we don't have many viewers.
S'okay, kid. Anyway, man, I got this terrible sense of deja vu going on. Are you sure we haven't met before?

 

by teknomage
11-27-05
I know what it is! Last week after the season premiere of Ghost in the Shell, Dave tried to start this strip, but it accidentally got made in his old strip.
Oh yeah, I remember, he was totally pissed about that. Blamed stripcreator.
Well, we all know stripcreator ain't perfect, it could be their bad somehow, I guess. But my natural inclination is to blame Dave's own incompetence.
Whatev. Anyway, like I guess in that one comic, we were all hanging out watching Adult Swim like old friends.
The four of us, that is, not including computer. You, Benny-san, tek-san, and me. Shame we couldn't all watch again this week.
Well, maybe when he gets back. Meanwhile, let's have a flashback to last Saturday night, huh?

 

by teknomage
11-27-05
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha! Tachikoma are so great!

 

by teknomage
11-28-05
So dude, Momoiro and I met Joe Beats yesterday. Also some computer that hates you. What's up with that?
Well, I dunno. I just think everyone's had a computer that seems to hate them. So I just ended up using it in my first strip. I thought it'd be funny. Whatever.
Sorry I never saw your first strip. Maybe it was funny, but so far I don't think it's funny in this one. Btw, I'm also not sure how I feel about openly admitting we're all characters, except you...
Well, I dunno if it'll work out either. But I want to do something more traditional than pretending my strip is really a talk show, y'know?
Speaking of the show, you should probably mention that Adult Swim's schedule is changing again soon... if you can figure out exactly what it's going to be now...

 

by teknomage
11-28-05
Will do, chief. I mean, we'll see if we can even manage to do a show without you here to guide us... Meanwhile, Joe and Momoiro and I will get together tonight to watch "How I Met Your Mother."
Y'know, not to play god or nuthin', but I noticed in your meeting with Joe that y'all said "Do you know Ted?" when it should be "Have you met Ted?"
Well y'know, not to play Devil's advocate or anything, but you're the one writing the damn strip, so it was your bad, not ours.
D'oh! You're right. Gomen nasai, buddy. I'll try to be more careful in the future...

 

by teknomage
11-28-05
See that you do. Meanwhile, do you think we're gonna hafta hang out with the computer much? I mean, we're obviously both using computers now, and do so fairly often, but do they have to talk back?
Hard to say, man. The old computer was actually sort of based on at least 2 different computers I had in the past. The ones I've used since then haven't bugged me nearly as much.
...But then again, no computer is perfect. They can always pull crap to annoy the hell out of you, so we'll see how I feel about it...
Right. I'm the annoying one in this relationship...

 

by teknomage
1-08-06
Hisashiburi, tek-san! Gosh, you've been back in town for like a couple weeks now, and I haven't seen you yet. Have you seen Benny-san?
No, but we've talked online a bit. Sorry I haven't seen you on IM or anything...
It's okay. So what've you been up to since the show ended?
Oh, you know, the usual. Spending too much time online, watching TV, and a bit of job searching.
Any luck so far?
Meh, it's too soon to tell. Probably not. But I really plan to work on it more this week... So anyway, what've you been up to?

 

by teknomage
1-08-06
Well, the other day... or maybe it was just yesterday, I don't even remember for sure... I started playing Pokemon Sapphire.
Oh... is that by any chance the one I lent Benny?
Hai, he lent it to me, I hope that's okay.
It's fine, I wasn't going to play it again anytime soon. So how's it going for you?
I'm quite enjoying it. I have a Marshtomp... Prof. Birch said I handled the first battle with aplomb, so I named Mudkip "Aplomb."
That sounds like something I'd do. Maybe you've been around me too long...

 

by teknomage
1-08-06
Probably, but I don't really mind. Anyway, I also got a Dustox, and today I got a Roselia. I wasn't really planning on getting one of those, but when I saw it, I just had to catch it.
Makes sense, given your skills as a flower arranger. Anyway, what'd you name them?
Nothing, I couldn't think of anything. Maybe I'll give them nicknames later, but I just might not name most of my pokemon at all. I did also catch an Electrike today, though, and named it Benny.
Ah, cuz he had a Delcatty named Momoiro when he was playing, right?
Hai. Anyway, I... actually I guess I did start yesterday, because I was watching Pokemon on Kids' WB, and they had an Absol on the episode, and I wanted one...
Yeah, that's usually why I start playing, cuz I wanna catch something I saw on the show. Though usually such pokemon are quite aways into the game before they show up...

 

by teknomage
1-08-06
Hai. And then, by the time I find one, I don't know if I'll even want one anymore. I'm not sure what pokemon I'll end up getting. I made a list, but I'm sure that will change as I play...
Yep, that happens. Well... Oh, did you see The Book of Daniel?
Eh, I thought the premise reminded me too much of Joan of Arcadia, and I didn't want to be reminded of how much I miss that, so I skipped it.
Well, it is kinda like Joan, but not quite as much as I expected. Anyway, it had problems, but it was enjoyable. Especially since the daughter draws manga.
Really? Maybe I'll check it out, then...
Anyway, it was also nice seeing Toonami again last night, after missing so much. Though it is kind of annoying to be behind on some of these shows... and I won't even try to watch Adult Swim...

 

by teknomage
1-08-06
Hai, Benny-san said you were going to wait for reruns. But you don't feel the need to do that with shows you've been missing on Toonami?
I just feel like it would take too long, and... I guess continuity isn't quite as important as on the AS shows.
I suppose... But really, I hope you get a job soon, so you could start using Netflix or something.
You and me both, Momoiro. Damn would I love that...
It's just Saturday AS, though, right?
Yeah... I'll keep watching Sunday, plus InuYasha on Tuesday, Champloo on Wednesday, and Evangelion on Thursday. I am actually getting to like that one more than I did at first...

 

by teknomage
1-08-06
Good to hear it. Anyway... I should probably be going...
Yeah, me too. *sigh* I'm sorry this conversation hasn't really been amusing, at all.
Conversations don't always have to be amusing, tek-san.
I know, but... I just feel like... you know, I quit the last series because I didn't feel like it was funny enough, and now this one so far is even less amusing.
Well, it's early yet. I'm sure things will pick up. Maybe just don't make a strip unless you have a definite idea, and not just random stuff like this.
Well, that's a good idea, but then I'd almost never get to see you or Benny. Or Joe, I haven't even seen him yet... Anyway, I'd miss all you guys if I always waited for a funny idea for a comic...

 

by teknomage
1-31-06
Hey, man, what up with this backdrop?
I stole it from the show after Jacuzzi Central went under. Pretty sweet, eh?
Yeah, whateva, man. Meanwhile, I been gettin' into that show "How I Met Your Mother, " what your friends Benny and Momoiro turned me on to.
Cool. And? What do you think?
Well in the first place, they said the gang met in a cafe. But actually it's a bar.
Meh, same diff. More or less. Aside from that, do you like the show?

 

by teknomage
1-31-06
I guess it's pretty funny. Especially Barney. I even like his blog.
Everyone does.
Welp, guess I can't think of anything else ta say right now. Late...
Okay, see ya, man...

 

by teknomage
2-08-06
Nanika atta, Dave? You're looking... uh... yeah.
Fuckin' TWoP forums fuckin' banned me again and deleted more posts, didn't even leave a trace of them this time. I dunno if it's for good this time, don't care. I ain't goin' back.
Shit, that bites. What's the deal this time?
Meh. Warnings. How can they call it warnings when they punish you before even telling you what you've done wrong?
Good question.
The hell of it is, this time I specifically looked to see if there was a rule against what I was doing, and I couldn't find one!

 

by teknomage
2-08-06
Are you sure there was a rule?
Probably, I guess. You know, it's like the song says... "sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see."
Isn't that song about love?
Yeah, but the concept is older than the song. Can refer to anything like. Like you could move everything in the fridge, you could stare right at what you're looking for, even move it, but never see it
Yeah, I guess. So you think that happened with the rule you were looking for?
I figure. *sigh* I guess "Television Without Pity" doesn't reserve a lack of pity just for TV, but also for posters on their damn forum.

 

by teknomage
2-08-06
So... you getting drunk because you don't care about the website? That doesn't compute, dude.
I'm offended on general principle. Unfairness pisses me off.
I feel ya, man. I wasn't planning to ever join the TWoP forums anyway, but now I definitely won't.
The main site's still cool, though. Not that I ever read it. But I won't hold the unfairness of the forums against the main site. Or anyone who posts there.
Right on, it's a free net. No need for boycotts or vendettas, I guess. You and I won't go there, but no reason others shouldn't. Meanwhile, don't worry, you don't need that place.
Hell no, I got plenty other boards to visit. ...But where oh where will I discuss Boondocks now?!?

 

Lemme just ax you this: Didjoo ever notice a connection between pokemon that can learn Cut and pokemon that can learn Fury Cutter?
I know, right?
by teknomage, 12-21-06

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Hey, Momoiro, I got tickets to see SKRILLEX. Wanna come with?
No thank you, Benny-san, I'm afraid I just can't get into his music. Sorry.
Actually, that's cool. Now that I think of it, this might be an opportunity to befriend the new guy in the office. I'll ask him if he wants to go...
Good idea. Let me know how that goes.
Hey, you're Moe, right? I'm Benny. Uh... this may seem sudden, but I have an extra SKRILLEX ticket. I wondered if you might want it.
What, you think I like that noise because I'm a robot? I'll have you know I'm more into John Dowland.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Sorry, man, didn't mean to offend you. I mean, I have the tickets because I'm into the guy's music. If you aren't, that's cool.
Ah. I apologize for rushing to conclusions. I'm just accustomed to stereotyping from humans.
Yeah, people suck sometimes. But I'm not like that. Heck, one of my best friends is Japanese. We kid each other sometimes in a mock-stereotyping way, but we're not serious about it.
Oh, so now you're comparing me to a Japanese. You think just because I'm a robot, I'm from Japan?
That's not what I meant at all. So where are you from? Mexico, like Bender Rodriguez?
Sigh. No. I'm from Canada. But I always wanted to be from... England.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
So, Canada, eh?
Grrr... I do not say "eh."
I didn't mean it like that. It's not like Canadians invented that word, you know. Man, can't I say anything without accidentally offending you?
Time will tell.
Anyway, since you like Dowland, I guess it makes sense you want to be from England. But if you moved away from Canada, why didn't you go there instead of America?
Oh, so now you don't want me in your country?

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Dude, I was just curious. Of course I want you here. As my friend Joe Beats would say, robots are some cool cats.
Cats? So now you're saying robots are no better than pets? Is that it?
Well, I mean... if you wanted to drop some deadmau5 at my feet, I wouldn't complain.
You mean the musical artist? You're asking me to kill a man? You think all robots are murderers?
Oh come on, now you're just playin'.
I've been playing along the last few times, actually...

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Anyway, maybe you're not from England, but at least Canada is part of the Commonwealth, right?
A fact from which I derive some small comfort.
But you still haven't told me why you moved to the States instead of England.
Are you kidding? They wouldn't let me on a plane with my claws.
That's rough, buddy. But why'd you leave Canada, anyway?
The truth is, I want to become a star of the theatre. If I cannot do so in England, Broadway shall suffice.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Uh... you do realize this is Ohio, right? Broadway's in New York.
No one starts out on Broadway. I'm going to try regional theatre first, and work my way up.
Sounds like a plan. You got any gigs yet? Maybe some friends and I will come watch.
Alas, there is still a great deal of discrimination against robot actors. So far the only acting work I've found is on a soap opera.
Ohhhh... like Calculon. Wow, two unrelated Futurama references in one conversation. Sweet.
Sigh. I get that kind of thing a lot. I suppose you humans think we all look alike.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Dude, that shtick is getting old. ...Anyway, I was wondering earlier why you, uh, only had one arm? Cuz now you have two...
Nice lampshade-hanging. Yeah, um... actually, that happens sometimes when I get angry. My limbs can just fall off. They grow back when I calm down.
Nice handwave. Makes up for limited image choices on stripcreator.
Nice fourth wall-breaking.
Yeah, my friend Dave is big into that kind of thing. So I kinda have to be, too, since he writes this strip.
Ooh, is he an author avatar? Neat.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
So, I take it you're a TV Tropes junkie, too?
I wouldn't say junkie, but it's a cool site. But anyway, the thing about my limbs falling off wasn't just a handwave.
Oh yeah? Is there an actual story behind it? One that makes some kind of sense?
Indeed. It's a failsafe, to ensure robots don't hurt anyone. Like Asimov's First Law of Robotics. But without the need for such complex programming.
Right. Because programming emotions and creating nanites to instantly rebuild limbs is so much simpler.
Okay, that will be quite enough lampshade-hanging, thank you.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Anyways, I want to clarify that, even though I know you were just joking earlier, I wasn't asking you to kill deadmau5; I meant you could bring me some of his music.
Good to know. Of course, we established that I'm not into such music.
Right. You like Dowland. But I don't think he's played any gigs in the last four centuries or so. You into anything a bit more modern?
Well, I'm a fan of Mediæval Bæbes.
Don't think I know them. How about Gotye?
Psh. Have you heard the Pentatonix cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know"? Blows the original out of the water, IMHO.

 

by teknomage
7-16-12
Anyway, you haven't told me anything about yourself, Benny. Like, I've been here a week. How long have you been working for this company?
Well, my friend Momoiro and I both started working here in early '06. Sadly, Dave had run out of creative juice by then, so he never made any strips about it.
I take it he did strips about the two of you prior to that, at some other job?
Yeah, we hosted a pretty random talk show. At first a local one called "Ohayou, Ohio," but it went national and changed the name to "Nanika atta, America." It didn't last long.
Sorry to hear that.
Hey, I'm over it. Not to hang a lampshade or anything, but I'm just glad to finally know she and I haven't been unemployed for the last six years.

 

by teknomage
12-06-12
Can you explain why you were an hour late to work today?
Yeah, see, someone posted a link on facebook to a webcomic. When I checked it out, it turned out to have been around for like ten years.
So I started reading the archive from the beginning. I only meant to read a few strips, but before I knew it, two hours had passed in the blink of an eye.
You're fired.
Woah, I'm sorry I'm late, but isn't that a bit harsh?
On the contrary, I wanted to fire you the second you said "someone posted a link on facebook." I think I showed remarkable restraint.

 

by teknomage
1-01-13
In life, my name was George Gregory Grant. People used to call me "G.G.G."
Now that I'm dead, I go by "G.G.G., Ghost."
Sigh. People always mispronounce it, though.

 

by teknomage
5-22-13
Nine years before the Battle of Yavin...
As you know, class, this year we are celebrating the tenth anniversary of the founding of the Galactic Empire.
Our beloved Emperor could not have succeeded in this without the help of the man we now know by his Sith name, Darth Vader. However, his given name was Anakin Skywalker...
Hey, that's Luke's last name! Where is he today, anyway?
I heard he's home sick.
C'mon, Aunt Beru, I have to go to school today. I have this strange sense that I'm missing something really important.
Now Luke, that's just your fever talking. You just get back in bed and concentrate on getting well.

 

...Well, when she said that, I literally died.
by teknomage, 2-22-14

 

by teknomage
8-26-14
Are you just going to lie in bed all day reading webcomix about depression?
Probably.
So, are you feeling depressed today, or something?
Not as long as I can lie in bed all day reading webcomix about depression.

 

by teknomage
12-12-14
A long time B.C.
Well, my friends and I are leaving now. Gonna miss Mesopotamia, but El wouldn't have created such a big world if He didn't want us to explore it and enjoy all its wonders.
I know, my son, but I can't shake this feeling that in settling other regions, over time people's physical features will adapt to better survive in new environments.
...And in the distant future, people will use those differences to justify segregation, hatred, and discrimination, thus causing pain not only to all of El's children, but to El Himself.
Heh heh, you and your crazy sci-fi concepts. You should write a book. I'd love to read it, but I can't promise I'll be able to suspend disbelief in such silly notions. Anyway, bye for now. Take care.
2014
D'oh!

 

by teknomage
4-23-15
Hey, any idea what's on the other side of this wall?
Equality. You should totally go there, it's great.
Okay, but how do I get there? I mean, that wall is *huge*, it looks like it has millions of bricks.
No worries, there's a whole team working to remove a few bricks every year. Soon the wall will be so small you'll be able to step right over it.
Well, what about those people at the top who seem to be *adding* bricks?
Pshaw! You're worried about one or two bricks, here and there? That's silly, you can *easily* step over one little brick, can't you?

 

by teknomage
7-14-15
Been reading about the whole Pluto thing. It's pretty cool, especially since I've never even stopped geeking out about the fact that men went to the moon, and that happened before I was even born!
I know what you mean. Humanity's potential for achieving extraordinary things never ceases to amaze me. We're a pretty great species.
Right? Oh, hold that thought. A new feminism article just showed up in my feed. It can be hard reading about how horrible men can be, but it's important to be aware of it so we never stop striving-
Not all men!
>:(
What?
...
...
Seriously, what?

 

Dammit, the internet's down. What the hell am I gonna do with my time, now?
by teknomage, 8-08-15

 

"Whoooosh!"
"Fwwwwwww!"
by teknomage, 10-02-15

 

by teknomage
12-19-15
Hi, my name's Tom.
What?! How dare you tell me to call myself Tom? My name is Achmed! By insisting I call myself "Tom," you're declaring war on my whole religion!
...The hell you talking about? I never said...
Happy holidays.
It's "Merry Christmas," you assh---! ...Oh, I see what you did there. Sorry it took so long to get it.
Finally. If we're good now, what say we go grab a couple of peppermint mocha lattes?

 

by teknomage
10-12-18
Article: Conservatives have done yet another deplorable, Nazi-like thing.
Damn conservatives! I am now angrys! Yet again!
Troll: Liberals are the real Nazis, because blah blah blah...
That's not true. Articles like this are correct. It is the conservatives, like 99% of the time.
Troll: Then prove it with evidence.
No. Either you already know you're wrong, and are being a deliberate asshole, or no amount of evidence will convince you. You'll keep being an unwitting asshole. So I won't waste my time arguing.

 

Welcome to the Ultimate Christmas Songs Website! Providing you with the best holiday music since the dawn of the internet.
Hey, Ancient Yuletide Carols, your politics suck!
by teknomage, 11-17-18

 

by teknomage
3-13-23
Brains!
Oh no, how do I get out of this predicament?
Brains!
Uh... I did my own research! Climate change is a hoax! CRT is racist! Go woke go broke! All my conspiracy theories have come true!
Never mind
Whew!

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