The Cop's Mistake by biped 12-17-06

Well, Inspector, I checked out the house. Nothing in there but a stray cat and some Wolf Mans. Okay, Sergeant, I guess we can wrap this--wait a minute! WOLF MANS?!? Yeah. You know, werewolves. Like in the movies... Well, go back in there RIGHT NOW and check out those WOLF MANS! And the cat, too--just in case. Next day, at the precinct house... (sigh) The fellows have been giving me the razzing of my life for overlooking those Wolf Mans, Inspector. Well, next time you'll know better than to overlook Wolf Mans during an investigation, Sergeant.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Super Marital Problems by biped 12-20-06

I found a pair of rubber underwear under the bed! You've been screwing REED RICHARDS, haven't you? Yes! YES! He...DOES things for me! Things YOU never could! That BASTARD! It's his ELASTIC DICK, isn't it? It's INCREDIBLE! It's like my whole body becomes a GIANT G-SPOT! ...and so, Sue, that's why I think we should have REVENGE SEX! We'll videotape us fucking each other silly, and-- Sorry, Captain Chip. I'm already having an affair with Plastic Man.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Poor Dogs by biped 12-20-06

It's great being a giraffe, huh? Boy, I love being a giraffe. Great? It's "da bomb", bro! Makes m'dick hard, and-- "Giraffes"? You guys are DOGS--ASSHOLE! Help us. We are poor dogs who thought we were giraffes. Please give us money.

The Clown Brothers in "The Morgue the Merrier" by biped 12-20-06

LET'S BREAK INTO THE MORGUE AND FUCK ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE!!! Well, I was going to watch the Cowboys versus the Steelers... but, okay. I'm pretty horny. I've fucked FIFTY CORPSES!!! DROOL!!! SLOBBER!!! YA-HA-HAAAAA!!! I've fucked twenty-five corpses twice. But I was always more of a "people person" than you. LET'S GO BACK TO THE MORGUE AND FUCK!!! FUCK THE DEAD!!! AND CUM!!! YAA-HAAAA!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!! Are you nuts? Get dressed. We're almost late for Sunday school.

Officer Joe Blow by biped 12-20-06

LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I MENSTRUATE, YOU BASTARD!!! Oh, so that's why you robbed six liquor stores. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A WOMAN!!! DICKBRAIN!!! You should try being a nice woman. Like my mommy. YAAAAAA!!! SEXIST PIG!!! I CALL UPON THE MIGHTY POWERS OF GLORIA ALLRED!!! Gloria Allred? Pfffft. I fucked her.

To Tell The Truth by biped 12-20-06

My name is Lloyd Wiggins. My name is Lloyd Wiggins. My name is Lloyd Wiggins. Well, panelists? Which one of our contestants is telling the truth? We'll start with you, Dorothy. Number one--how does it feel to have such an incredibly faggy-sounding name?

The Dating Game by biped 12-20-06

All right, Debbie! It's time to play--"The Dating Game"! Bachelor number two...I've been told I have a very sexy voice. What does it make you think of? Uh...it makes me think of the time I saw my mom naked and had to beat off.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Amazing Stereotype Woman by areallystupidguy 1-01-07

stereotype woman! a whole busload of children is being held hostage by a complete maniac! you gotta do something! hang on, i'm organizing my vinyl. yep, it's all here. boston, the eagles, america, rush, chicago, styx, queen, kiss, bread, steely dan, michael bolton, motley crue, foreigner, fleetwood mac, poison, air supply, dr. hook, bee gees, phil collins, journey, bob seger, indigo girls, coldplay, the doors, kenny g...

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It's grime time.

Goo-Goo Secret Source Wolf by biped 1-14-07

GOO-GOO SECRET SOURCE WOLF!!! Umm...I beg your pardon? Well..."goo-goo" as in my childlike glee at encountering you..."secret source" as in, you were the famous "Deep Throat" of the Watergate scandal, and "wolf", as in, well, you're a-- Err, I hate to tell you this--but I am definitely NOT the Watergate scandal's mysterious "Deep Throat." WAAAA-HA-HAAAAA!!! THE WOLF SAID HE WASN'T REALLY GOO-GOO SECRET SOURCE WOLF, MOMMY!!! WAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAA!!! HE WAS A BAD WOLF, SWEETIE PIE!!! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!

 

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Slightly less warped

For a while, I was into bestiality, sadism and necrophilia. Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

by NeoVid, 1-14-07

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Abe Vigoda

Yeah right.

by possums, 1-17-07

Oh, That Edna by biped 1-17-07

...and to think, that but for a simple transposition of an "H" for an "M", Paris Hilton would be...Paris Milton. Well, thank you all for attending my night class. Paris Milton...Paris Milton... Paris Milton...Paris Milton... Two guys just went nuts, started screaming "PARIS MILTON!!!" and blew up city hall. This wouldn't have anything to do with your night class, would it? That's utter mogwash, Ed.

"NON-NOEL COWARD COMICS" Not written by: Noel Coward by biped 1-17-07

I can't believe you don't have a single tat. Not a single tat...not a single piercing...CHUH... how do people like you even EXIST? Blah, blah, blah. Can you do THIS? YAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAA!!! BLUBBA-DA-BLUBBA-DA!!! HEE-HAWWW, HEE- HAWWWW!!! Didn't think so.

The Magic Smiley by biped 1-15-07

My new magic smiley shirt mirrors my emotions. If I act calm, like this, the magic smiley is calm, too. See? And if I act real happy, the magic smiley acts real happy, too! And if I act real sad, like this, the magic smiley acts real sad, too. What if you're constipated?

Homeroom Horror by biped 1-15-07

Mrs. Flonase, there's a big scary monster in the coat closet who's eating kids all up alive. Oh Timmy, you and your wild imagination. GRAAAAAAAAR!!! YAAAAAAAAAA!!! (sob) It was ghastly, Ed. Blood...body parts... entrails...oh, it was just HORRIBLE!!! Now, now, honey...there are lots more little kids where those came from.

Sorry, Sally by biped 1-15-07

(FRRRRRRRRRRT) Uh-oh... I just poo-pooed in my pants. Oh, classy, kid. Real classy. ...and he just sat in it all day, Mr. Vigoda. The stench was horrible. It almost made me vomit. Well, uh...(gag)thanks for sharing, Billy... You look a little green around the gills, Abe. Is it because we're shooting the big "Tessio goes for a ride" scene today? No, Francis. It's because of some kid named Timmy who crapped his pants.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Taking a dirt nap in the bone orchard by Cre8tive13 1-26-07

Oh no! It's The Grim Raper! I'm a goner!! No, no...it's the Grim Rea....p... hmmm..... OooOooOOO! Yes, be afraid...it is I... The Grim RAPER! Now pull your pants down and touch your toes, bitch!

Rapid Hand Movement by UnknownEric 1-30-07

At the Justice League headquarters. What is it, Robin? Wonder Woman, Lex Luthor is attacking Metropolis, but Superman is in his Fortress of Solitude and I don't know how to reach him. IM. IM? IM Superman and tell him what's happening. Doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-doo...

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I has a flavor!

RCL no. 1413 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-06-07

"Hmmm..." "It's so hard to decide since they all look alike..." ...but, I'm almost 100% positive the murderer is the second one from the right!" FUCK!

Oh the kind things people say by The_young_scot 2-09-07

I've never been able to tell if you're drunk, you just have one of those faces We just met at this party, and fuck you I suppose technically it would be great if we hooked up, but I just don't find you attractive, sorry Are women just lining up to reject me? I never even asked you out! I think you should quit your job and go work in gay bars across America I... but... what?

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Scent of a Fish-Woman called Wanda by Cre8tive13 2-10-07

So my date with Pam started out okay...that is, until we started getting a little hot n heavy. What happened? I went down on her and...well...she smelled...! I mean, she really stunk!! NO!? She stunk? Lke what? A woman's cunt I'm gonna puke!

Mystery Cup: Round the Final : The truth and the word pt 2

Because you've asked for forgivness for this murder i shall forgive yo--... wait a second... Nevermind, you faggot. Suck the dick you lose the Kingdom

by FUCKreadingtherules, 2-07-07

RCL no. 1418 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-12-07

This is Phil McKracken reporting from a major, mutli-car pile up at Wilshire and 4th, here in Santa Monica... ...where I am witnessing an actual curbside, emergency surgery as paramedics try to stop the blood spurting from an accident victim's severed right leg. "How's the surgery going, Phil?" Not well, Chuck.

BEATS for DUMMIES by Cre8tive13 2-12-07

Hi, can you help me? I'm in a very desperate need for a particular Self-Help book Yes, sir what is it called? It's called, "How to Stop Beating the Shit Out of People who say NO to you." Ever heard of it, son? Ummm...errr...Is this...b-book for you, sir? Yes it is. Are you familiar with it? ...fuck.

Abuse by areallystupidguy 2-12-07

so, how's the wife? eh, can't complain. wait...

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It's grime time.

Your Own Personnel Jesus by umfumdisi 2-13-07

Good morning. Hi. I'm, uh, here about the, erm, sales job. Do you have any previous sales experience? Yeah, I ... Is the cross making you nervous? That's part of it.

Number 1111 for me.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

RCL no. 1420 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-13-07

Hey, Barkeep... Give me a fartini... Don't you mean MARTINI? What the heck is a "fartini"? It's a regular martini, except the bartender farts in it to give it a little flavor... What if he accidently shits in your fartini? That's known as a "dirty" fartini! Ewww!

President Kitty Cat by biped 2-23-07

Greetings, my fellow Americans. I'm your new president--President Kitty Cat. President Kitty Cat?!? When... when in the world did this happen? Don't you remember? You elected me yesterday. We...we must've all been DRUNK or something! Well, sorry...it still counts. Holy smoke... what's the rest of the WORLD going to think?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Frickin' media. by UnknownEric 3-07-07

Welcome to Fox News... Captain America is DEAD, bitches! Too bad if you haven't read the issue yet, HE'S DEAD!!! Man, I HATE it when the media ruins comics like that. You don't see them spoiling the end of movies the day they're released. If Fox News were around in 1980... This just in, Darth Vader is Luke's FATHER!!! Suck on that for a while!

Thanks, Google, Yahoo, CNN, etc. for plastering this ALL OVER THE FRONT PAGE today. I guess I know what comic I'm not going to bother buying tonight because I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT ENDS NOW!!!

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I has a flavor!