Your vampiric dildo is in the shop til next thursday.

Why does Nickleback suck so much?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Because Chad Kreuger should've been a cum stain on a gym sock instead of fertilizing some dumb bitch's egg.

Do you like the smell of my aftershave?

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Poop.

I dont smell it. Wait...

...Is that what smells like cat shit in here?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...no, that's just cat shit.

have you seen my baseball?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Nope...

Have you checked your underwear for it?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Yeah, but all I found in there was some bitter chocolate.

What's that tune?

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

"You Should All Be Murdered"

Who wants to put 'em on the glass?

---
I has a flavor!

If by 'glass' you mean porcupine sex, then no.

Why can't I help falling in love with you?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Must be my new perfume.

Why does that mountain piss me off so much?

---
It's grime time.

Cause it's an angry mountain that shouts curse words at you in your sleep, horribly wrecking any chance you might have of having a self esteem or an ego that would thusly promote your greatest dreams into a spectacular reality. Either that or it's the fuckin' snow.

Is all that I'm saying is give peace a chance?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

All that you're saying is "bad grammar."

Is it unusual to be loved by anyone?

It is if you're dcomposed.

If you ever met Kurt Cobain, would you say 'hey, man, nice shot!'

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

No, but I would ask him what the hell went through his mind when he married Courtney Love.

Does anyone here have a theme song?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Mine is "Fuck in the Butt" by David Allen Coe.

Should I take this job and shove it?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

If you're a fluffer, yes. If you're a fluffee, what the hell are you thinking, man?!

Who would win in a Polish boxing fight: me or Athiest Diary?

AthiestDiary would fucking clean house.

What is your favorite 80's sitcom?

---
=D

Ryan White.

Why is it that when I think about Jews I touch myself, oh oh oh?

---
"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Because Jewish people rule.

Why do Jewish people rule so much?

---
=D

Because they are the chosen people of the Lord, and they are responsible for the best pickles anywhere.

Are we there yet?

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I know I am, baby.

Why should I care if a breast is "real?"

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

If we're talking about chicken breast, I would probably ask Frank Perdue or the Colonel.

Why can't I sleep, whenever I think about you?

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Probably has something to do with my being a relative of Freddy Krueger.

Is it me, or did it just get cold in here?

Oh sorry, I was freezing my penis to see if it could get any harder and I decided to touch it to the back of your neck to see if it would get stuck. My bad.

How does one 'walk like an egyption' anyway?

---
"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

It seems the best way to achieve this pop-culture dance stance is to be really drunk, and really, really white.

For Keeps?

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Absitively.
Didn't I blow your mind this time?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)