You got hooked up with Wirthling?

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Poop.

FTC #23: MS Mengela - For the Serious Biology Researcher! by Xuanwu 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Elsewhere... So, Mr. Gates, how do you suggest I recruit subjects for my illicit cyborg experiments?

FTC 23: Let dateless by the MS programmers by bladderface11 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Haha, you didnt actually believe that Mircosoft had a Database!!?? :-(

FTC 23: Some can't afford to be picky by bladderface11 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. MOTHER!? What!? Is this weird for you??

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o.O

FTC 23: Well what are the odds... by bladderface11 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. This program has performed an illegal operation and will been shut down :-(

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o.O

It's me!

FTC 23 - Heeeeeeere's Kaufman! by MikeyG 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Auuugggh, not a cat lover! I'm allergic to cats! Well, if you're litter-ally not feline well, does that mean getting Friskies with each other is meowt of the question? I manxiously await your answer.

FTC 23: Dung Be Ridiculous! by MikeyG 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Man, I never should have put 'Has to be able to take a lot of shit' as a requirement!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

No...that would be most likely to happen.

But then...bladderface's comic "Well what are the odds..." has become more truthful.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

FTC 23: MS and the police - Working for a better future by shark_energy 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Hello police? I'd like to report a paedophile. Yes, 5' 10", slim build, glasses, spots. He will be outside the playdough factory at 8pm...

OMG, shark energy runs away with it.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I don't think it was all that funny, but it's definitely highly entertaining. Jolly good, shark.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC 23: Same as last year by mmyers 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Ah, another perfect match. Why must Clippy always be alone for Valentines? *sigh* Click [OK] if it's going to be another lonely year masturbating, Clippy.

FTC 23: Valentine's Day is a day for giving by mmyers 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Holy shit! You actually clicked 'OK'. That was just a virus I sent your cpu. Now I know you're pathetic and your hard drive is tanked. Think I left my uzi in my locker.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

meh.

FTC 23: Obligatory TOBOR joke by MikeyG 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. What, have to use Matchmaker because you've cornholed everyone in your area already? TOBOR SO EMBARRASSED

FTC 23: Vladentine's Day by MikeyG 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. áëîóäæîáñ - ïÿòü ðàïëüç, è òðàõàíüå ìåíÿ â òîðöå ÿâëÿåòñÿ áåñöåííûì These Latvian Brides are getting worse and worse every year.

FTC 23: Love Doesn't Grow on Trees, You Know... by MikeyG 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Hi, I'm Medjool, your date! I should have specified 'NOT A SNACK'.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC 23: c3 by Dinah 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. i can't wait!

By the way, shark_energy, I rescind that. The more I read it the more I giggle.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC 23 - Not winning the best title award by Beaz 2-19-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Hi! <3! What a fuck.

<3!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

The Truth Award This would really happen

Goes to: bladderface

For the Comic:

FTC 23: Well what are the odds... by bladderface11 2-17-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. This program has performed an illegal operation and will been shut down :-(

Most Political

Goes to: EvilZak

For the Comic:

Geek's valentines day by EvilZak 2-14-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Your date is analnudecelebs.com Damn, I wanted lesbiantwins.gov

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to: Xuanwu

For the Comic:

FTC #23: A Doomed Relationship by Xuanwu 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. HA! I see you camping there! Just wait until I get my rocket launcher reloaded! This is the best date EVER.

Most Sexual

Goes to: dcomposed

For the Comic:

FTC 23: by dcomposed 2-13-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker. Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait.

Most Ironic

Goes to: mmyers

For the Comic:

FTC 23: Valentine's Day is a day for giving by mmyers 2-18-04

It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged. I can't wait. Holy shit! You actually clicked 'OK'. That was just a virus I sent your cpu. Now I know you're pathetic and your hard drive is tanked. Think I left my uzi in my locker.

Best Pun

Goes of course to: MikeyG

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23 - Heeeeeeere's Kaufman!']

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to: MikeyG

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23: Vladentine's Day']

Most Obscure

Goes to: possums

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23: Date With Satan']

The Tobor Award For funniest Inside Joke

Goes to: ObiJo

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'Yes!']

Best Title

None of the titles did it for me, so I'm giving it to: Beaz

The AUUHHH award Of best use of being corny

Goes to: MikeyG

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23: Obligatory TOBOR joke']

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to: Big Evil Dan

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23: Great Minds...']

Creativity Award

Goes to: shark_energy

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23: MS and the police - Working for a better future']

Zinger Award (And the next host of FTC)

Goes to: shark_energy

For the Comic: [Click to view comic: 'FTC 23: MS and the police - Working for a better future']

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

GLORY!

Thanks Kaufman

YES!!! I FUCKING WON SOMETHING!!!

Kaufman, I'll never forget you for this!