Get those last-minute entries in, I'm judging tomorrow.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC-woo woo by xxausrottenxx 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. DOUBLE NEGATIVE!!! CORNHOLING TIME!

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xx( o Y o. )xx

I know it's not supposed to be sexual, but it just ended up that way...

FTC #33 : Swaying The Vote by niteowl 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. TOBOR UNABLE TO CORNHOLE COMMUNIST INTO SUBMISSION. COMMUNIST SAYS HE'S STILL VOTING FOR KERRY. TOBOR SORRY! Dang it! Rummy, grab your dildo and get that purty mouth of yours warmed up, we're headin' over to Spankling's house!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

FTC #33 : Woe by niteowl 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. TOBOR WILL NEVER HIT QUOTA THIS MONTH. ...And you can take that flower from the Church of Religious Consciousness and plant it in your ass!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

FTC 33: DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOILET TROUBLE by biped 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. But since you're here, how would you feel about Roto-Rootering a clogged sewer line for me?

FTC 33: PIDDLER WHITTLER by biped 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. But if you'll wait a moment, I'll go tell the electric pencil sharpener his blind date is here.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

FTC33: Ye olde Cornehole by fzh 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. Well prepare to know him in a Biblical sense! Go ahead and make me die in a Shakepearian sense!

judging will commence in approximately one hour.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Here goes!

Most Political

Goes to: niteowl

For the Comic:

FTC #33 : Swaying The Vote by niteowl 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. TOBOR UNABLE TO CORNHOLE COMMUNIST INTO SUBMISSION. COMMUNIST SAYS HE'S STILL VOTING FOR KERRY. TOBOR SORRY! Dang it! Rummy, grab your dildo and get that purty mouth of yours warmed up, we're headin' over to Spankling's house!

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to: lukket, although almost all of biped's entries could fall under this award.

For the Comic:

FTC 33: Competition by lukket 5-02-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. WAAAAH! ALL PEOPLE FORGET TOBOR. NOBODY FEAR TOBOR. RAAAAAR! BROTO BLAME SCO GROUP! THEY CORNHOLE ALL LINUX USERS BEFORE WE GET TO THEM!

Most Ironic

Goes to: maddog00

For the Comic:

FTC33: Tobor by maddog00 4-30-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. But I can cornhole you if you'd like. RAAR! TOBOR CONFUSED.

Best Pun

Goes to: KAUFMAN!

For the Comic:

FTC 33: One Foggy Christmas Eve by kaufman 4-29-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WLECOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. HE HAD A VERY SHINY ROD! AND IF YOU EVER SAW IT, YOU WOULD SHOUT OUT... OH MY GOD!!!!!

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to: InnerSinner

For the Comic:

FTC 33- Oops I pulled a MikeyG! by InnerSinner 4-30-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. hAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOVOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. Shit! Kobe Bryant, if that's you in there... you going to jail.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Most Obscure

Goes to: crabby

For the Comic:

FTC-33 by crabby 5-04-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. I can't believe this is happening again. My publicist assured me I was big in Omaha. Why do i continue to put myself through such torture? Wait, did you say TOBOR? I thought you said Neal Rockney. I've never heard of Neal Rockney.

The Tobor AwardFor funniest Inside Joke

Goes to: InnerSinner

For the Comic:

FTC 33- Oops I pulled a MikeyG! by InnerSinner 4-30-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. hAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOVOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. Shit! Kobe Bryant, if that's you in there... you going to jail.

Best Title

Goes to: biped

For the Comic:

FTC 33: MY FAIR TOBOR by biped 4-29-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WLECOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. Tell everyone the play's on again, Bobby! I think we've just found our Eliza Doolittle!

Most Similar

Goes to: nobody. I didn't really think any of them were similar enough to each other for this 'award'.

Best Use of Lack of Rules

Goes to: knkx

For the Comic:

FTC 33: Tobor in wonderland by Dinah 4-30-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. Perhaps I'll just look around a bit. I'm late, I'm late for a very important date!

The AUUHHH award Of best use of being corny

Goes to: NooniePuuBunny

For the Comic:

FTC 33: This comic blows by NooniePuuBunny 4-30-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. CARE TO FIND OUT?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

And the final awards:

Bronze Award of Neatoness

Goes to: biped

For the Comic:

FTC 33: MY FAIR TOBOR by biped 4-29-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WLECOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. Tell everyone the play's on again, Bobby! I think we've just found our Eliza Doolittle!

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to: kaufman

For the Comic:

FTC 33: One Foggy Christmas Eve by kaufman 4-29-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WLECOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. HE HAD A VERY SHINY ROD! AND IF YOU EVER SAW IT, YOU WOULD SHOUT OUT... OH MY GOD!!!!!

Psychic Award

Goes to: maddog00

For the Comic:

FTC33: CRY RAAR by maddog00 4-30-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. TOBOR SAD. NO ONE CARES TO KNOW HIM. TOBOR NEEDS A SHOULDER TO CRY ON. Oh, um, I think I hear my mom calling. Gotta go.

My comic was:

FTC 33 - Entry by MikeyG 5-06-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. TOBOR REALLY JUST WANT TO BE HELD. Awww what the hell, come to bed. I hear 'spooning' is popular these days.

Creativity Award

Goes to: biped

For the Comic: All of his entries. Check out his comics. Most of them are pretty good. He was the most consistently amusing.

Zinger Award (And the next host of FTC)

Goes to: niteowl

For the Comic:

FTC #33 : Woe by niteowl 5-05-04

RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here? TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have. TOBOR WILL NEVER HIT QUOTA THIS MONTH. ...And you can take that flower from the Church of Religious Consciousness and plant it in your ass!

Congrats, niteowl! Yours and kaufmans were pretty much the only two comics that made me actually laugh out loud. Good show.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Wow, thanks. I will hold these awards dear to my heart and treasure them for OH, LOOK! A KITTY CAT! HERE, KITTY KITTY KITTY!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Awesome...Thanks Mikey!

New contest to be posted in about 5-6 hours.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.