Oakland: Home of Hundreds of Thousands of People Too Fucked Up For Frisco or L.A.! (tm)

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Actually, a meet would be pretty cool, as long as beer is involved. But hell, make beer involved and I'll do just about anything.

Except donkey sodomy.

Or wirthling.

But almost anything else.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

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Actually, a meet would be pretty cool, as long as beer is involved. But hell, make beer involved and I'll do just about anything.

Except donkey sodomy.

Or wirthling.

But almost anything else.

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I can do about 12 cases of Miller, two cases of Guinness, three quarts of Jack Daniel's, soda, deli, and assorted white spirits and aperitif's. After that, you're on your own.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Personally, I think we should do a least squares fit kind of method, averaging distance from everyone's location and finding the optimal spot that gives least overall traveling distance of all people combined. Ok, let me do that.

Well, DexX threw it off a little, being in quadrant 4 and on the opposite side of the world. So the location turns out to be thirty miles underground of Phoenix, Arizona, right in the middle of a thick outcropping of granite. (I've heard it's beautiful this time of year.) Or we can just do it in Phoenix, Arizona if you like. Not that I care one way or the other being in, well, Phoenix Arizona as I am.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Maybe we could do it on the moon. That'd be a giant pain in the ass for all of us to get to, thereby being the most fair. Plus it sets the stage for all sorts of wacky hijinx.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

By the way, posting about the CWRU sci-fi marathon got me thinking about how much I want to go.

So I'm arranging my life to be there for that. If any Clevelanders want to join me, cool beans.

If not, that's cool, too.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

http://films.cwru.edu/marathon.html

Maybe you'll see these fellows...

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I was at that one. I don't remember them. They blended in with all the other smelly people.

I swear, there's nothing smellier than hour 36 of a movie marathon attended solely by geeks and hippies.

But it was still fun.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Isn't that what patchouli oil is for?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I'm down the with marathon, Lady J. Lemme know if you need a ride when you get into town.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Rock. That will be fun. I don't have a ride arranged yet. I have crash space (and more importantly, shower privileges) lined up for before and after the marathon, and I'm planning on staying at the auditorium for the duration of the marathon, setting my sleeping stuff up in the upper level hall like I did the last time I went.

I was racking my brain trying to remember if the rapid transit goes anywhere near the heights. I think it stops at the bottom of the hill and I'd have to hike far too far uphill in the winter. I seem to remember that it stops IN the airport, but I could be confused on that one, too. I had a car that ran without problem for the entire time I lived in Cleveland, so I never had a need to scope the public transportation system.

I'm still going to see if my best friend will be in town that weekend, and if she wants to do the marathon. I have a rapport with her that allows me to beg her to drag my ass all over the greater Cleveland area meeting and greeting old buddies, but I do not have such a rapport with you. I may still take you up on a ride offer, but I'm going to try to not have to.

I also have an old friend from NYC that I haven't seen in 7 years who is now all gung-ho about getting there. I'm getting very excited about this event.

Now I have to think of what I want to get pierced, since it would be a shame to be so close to Body Work Productions and not take advantage of that fact.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I suggest you pierce Gabe's nutsack with a railroad spike so that he can't breed.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

That was uncalled for.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

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I was racking my brain trying to remember if the rapid transit goes anywhere near the heights.

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Just don't call me names or rob me at gunpoint, and we'll get along fine. :- )

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I knew you were going to say that.

Seriously.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

That was uncalled for.

Actually, I did call for it earlier in the day. But no one answered so I just left a message. I didn't think you got it.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I rob people at swordpoint. Much more menacing, wouldn't you say?

Also, how about some non-alcoholic beverages for the under 21 strippers in here? Yeah, I know, it doesn't really matter, and a meeting of the regs would probably be full of underage drinking, but frankly, I just don't like alcohol.
Unless it's mead. Or Schnapps!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

We'll serve you Kool-Aid. As for underage drinking, I'm an upstanding, law abiding citizen, and if you tried to swill booze with me present I'd bonk you on the head.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

My dad got arrested because he caught a burgular and held him at sabrepoint.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

GOOD GOD WHAT IS IT WITH THESE KIDS TODAY?

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What others say about boorite!

Pessi? Yo, we got Pessi Cola, shiznit!

(Captions provided by Urban Linguistics R Us)

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm only gonna go if theres Royal Crown cola involved. Only RC for me boys crabby only drinks the best!

Will M'Lud be requiring a Moon Pie as well, then?

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.