I miss you too pita. Guess where I work now? Insurance Investigations. Pretty exciting, except I don't do the actual investigating anymore. When I did, I would so yell gotcha everytime I found a liar. Now I just get coffee and pretend to do work for the Marketing Manager.

I'm buying a house in 17 days. It's totally crazy. I'm freaking out as I type this because 17 days is NOT that long. Nate's working a lot of overtime to help come up with the final few hundreds for closing costs. We've got it, but barely. And hey, we still need to eat/pay electric/etc.

Travis, you might remember him as the baby I was carrying around last year, is 10 months old today. He walks using furniture as supports, says "Momma" "Dada" and "I did it". He also stands quite well on his own, but don't tell him I'm not holding on to him. A little insecure, but I think I'll keep him. (Totally looks like his dad)

Wedding is still on for September 10. I'm working out details and I'm about ready to rip my wedding dress in half. I hate everything about it now. I think this is typical. Or I'm crazier than I thought.

Oh, and one final thing: I eat what I want when I want. But I tend to eat healthy small meals anyway, so it all balances out. I will never say that I am too fat, that ruined half my mother's life.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

OK, so I wasn't really telling her EVERYTHING. I wanted to leave something to the imagination but now Mikey has spilled the beans. That's right, Mikey and I ride around the country on a motorcycle, he dressed as a nurse and I as a playwright and we fight crime and solve mysteries. There. Happy?

Now I've got this damn itch to scratch.

On the Road with M & M by kaufman 5-02-05

So I'm trying to wrap up Act 2 with a bang. Right now Portnoy's locked in the wine cellar and Ophelia's got a flat tire, and... Hang on, mmyers, stop the bike. I always wanted to visit Topeka. Three Big Mac value meals comes to $14.67, and I'll need exact change -- we just got robbed, and my register's empty. ROBBED? Forget our meal. Let's go, Mikey. We have crime to fight. Later ... Thanks to the two of you for helping to bring that robber to justice. And I must say, that nurse's outfit looks quite fetching on you, Mikey. Well, just between you and me, Pita, I'm really turned on by you in that cop getup.

There. That's better.

This was just the pilot. It really ought to be a series. Get your lazy asses over to Comic Showcase and contribute!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Wow...can you FEEL the LOVE?!?
I never thought anyone would miss me, truly.

Kajun - I do believe being obese has a lot more to do with heredity than you're willing to see. The morbidly obese are no more "stupid" than the junkie, the alcoholic, the smoker, etc. They are (plainly and simply put), addicted.

Phreaky - Hi! Believe me when I tell you that you do not want to be me when you grow up. Be yourself instead. You're younger and cuter, anyway. I'll try to visit more often but my life's been a living hell in the year 2004. Now I'm playing catch-up. I wish you the best in obtaining your divorce. I was so caught up in misunderstanding and misapplying religious doctrine that I waited waaaaaay too long.

Jesussandwich - Oh.

Noonie & Mikey - Hi! I was just talking with a friend at work this evening about not drinking soda at all... water is sooooooo good for you! My teeth are shaped nicely but slightly stained because I love soda, tea, coffee, etc. And RW is right about the formaldehyde. Ick.

Mmyers & Chicka - Where are you located? Congrats on the house! Word of advice to both of you (although if Chicka works in the insurance business she may already know this) - most auto insurance companies offer a homeowner's discount. Call and ask. I guess when you own a home you're less of a driving risk :P (financially responsible).
Chicka, I love babies. September will be a great month for getting chained.

Ken - Very funny. Btw, the Insurance company I work for is celebrating the "Year of the Motorcycle" so we had a dress up day a few weeks ago. I dressed in black leather and chains as a biker chick. 'Twas fun.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

The Return by fuzzyman 5-03-05

I'm Betty Butterworth and this is SCN News. Stripcreator citizens celebrated the return of their long-absent friend, Pita. Most of the party video was accidentally destroyed, but our video forensics team mamanged to recover this clip. 'Ey, you're pretty good wi' that banana. What say we go out back? Eep! "Accidentally destroyed," huh? Kajun paid you to dispose of that video, didn't he? Eating the video tape was easy compared to the soiled bananas.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I'm in St. Louis metro area (southern part). And I'm actually getting a better deal going through an outside insurance company that specializes in farmland. The quote was $200 (or more) less than the rest of the quotes I was getting. Of course, if my cat ever gets taken, they'll have to check the brand on her ass now.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I didn't want to bring up Aspartame because I also read that it causes brain cancer in lab rats on high doses of it. The reason I didn't want to bring that up is because I am a lab rat with brain cancer.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I'm in Atlanta. Do you know that my car insurance folks nor my work insurance people would not cover us because we have dogs? How odd.

I was speaking to one of them (MET, who actually has a dog as their mascot!) and they said,
"Do you have pets?"
I say "Yep, a dog."
He says "What kind?" and I say "An American dog! Hehe, na, he's just a mutt."
He says, "What kind of mutt?"
I say, "Um, brown? Kind of gold colored?"
He says, 'What is he mostly?"
I say, "No clue. He has purple in his tongue so we think he may have some chow in him. His coat looks retrieverish and--" and just like that, the conversation was over.
"We can't cover you. We have a couple of red flag words and they are: rottwheiller (sp?), chow, and pitbull, and we won't cover any house with them." Wow, I say, wow.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

To some extent, yes. But when I see a fat couple with a disgracefully overweight kid, I think "child abuse".

Obese people with obese kids should be treated the same as parents who never feed their children. It's malnutricion either way.

Yep, I guess if smokers walked around with their black lungs hanging out of their mouths I'd look at them and think "moron".

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Dad was flammable

Just a sidenote: I am in no way Mr Cleanliving, I have my vices like anybody else. The difference is that I've never had a problem giving up any addiction I've had (or rather, any addiction I've wanted to give up).

The fact that I'm an elitist twat means that I assume anyone who doesn't find it as easy as me is automatically stupid.

I doubt I'll be giving that up.

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Dad was flammable

:D Arrogance...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

That's what I like to hear. You can be an arrogant prick as much as you want, as long as you know what you are.

It's funny how much alike we are in certain aspects, dear little Kajun. I'm and elitist twat and I also assume anyone that doesn't find it as easy as me is automatically stupid. I'm just as arrogant as you are.

The only difference? I have a reason to be. ;)

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

The difference is that I sometimes shut the fuck up.

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Dad was flammable

What's your reason to be arrogant, Mikey? I'd like to hear this. Everyone hush while he explains.

Maybe he's excited to have a girlfriend who can spell "chinchilla."

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

She sure is a kick-ass chick.

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Dad was flammable

First off, I was totally joking, hence the ";)". Smarmy joke, perhaps, but still a joke.

Second off, the reason I have to be arrogant is... I'm not you, which I should be given a medal for. Everyone should, in fact. Except for you, of course.

The other reason I'm better than both you AND Kajun is because you're both Scottish. That rather goes without saying as well.

I'm not sure how I'm better than not_Scyess, but I'll figure it out eventually.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Your penis will fit into smaller spaces than mine. I guess you can hold onto that.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

1. I'm nobody's girlfriend on this site.
2. Have the courtesy to keep me out of this in any instance. I have no claim in this pissing contest of yours.

Thanks.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

I know, I don't leave as much evidence as you do when I rape kids.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

What rape? That 7-year-old was asking for it!

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Wow, I guess I owe him a 20 then.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I love biped and pita.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

quote:

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1. I'm nobody's girlfriend on this site.

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quote:

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quote:

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1. I'm nobody's girlfriend on this site.

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I....I thought we...I thought...I meant something to you.

/me runs out of the room crying.

(The party stops for a moment, beat, then everyone starts talking again.)

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