My top (bottom) twenty-five, complete with VH1 style/I love the 's style reminiscing.
Cornershop: oh yes, great band, i have all of their album. Did they have any albums? Or did they just annoy us with awful songs every five years? Brimful of talentless tat.
Britney Spears: Awful vanilla this-was-made-by-white-people music. What on earth is a prerogative apart from a piece of crap wordplay from a fifteen year old goth?
Alex DJ: 'famous' (i use the word loosely) for the fantastic album 'who needs guitars anyway'. To make a statement like that, you really need to be making an album which is better than an album that a dude with a guitar can make. To give myself a decent enough marker, i listened to Electric Ladyland before i listened to Alex DJ's album. No comment needed.
Babylon Zoo: Spaaaacemaaaan, i also wanted you to gooo into space, man. To write lyrics like this and NOT put it into a pink floyd-esque song is ridiculous.
Professor Pumpernickel: No one else is really gonna go for this. They were in my school. They were a Ska band. They had the same tune in every song. This is true.
Good Charlotte: NO! BAD CHARLOTTE! BACK IN YOUR BOX. The band that sucked a thousand other fans into the artistic black hole that is listener-friendly punk.
Orgy: Covered 'Blue Monday' in order to get famous. Got semi-famous, forgot to get semi-talented. Orgy were ridiculously bad. Even worse than Coal Chamber.
Christina Aguilera: She's a jukebox for a bunch of hairy writers to play the songs that Lil Kim couldn't sing. Lil Kim is also dire, but doesn't get on this list because there was only enough room for one rapper with awful delivery.
50 Cent: Rapper with awful delivery.
Snow: Licked the bum-bum down of anyone dumb enough to find white-boy reggae appealing.
Cradle of Filth: I'm not going to go over the 'he sounds like an angry puppy' territory that everyone notes. I hate Cradle of Filth because theyre awful, and because i managed to lose my virginity whilst having the song on in the background. FFS.
Fieldy's Dreams: The most unfortunate side-project since a struggling Austrian painter called Adolf started looking elsewhere to express his ideas.
Hoobastank: Uber-wank
Wheatus: Ugh
Jojo: As Bill Hicks once said: "When the f**k did we start listening to fourteen year old white girls?"
All Saints: Made 'Under the Bridge' into a clean-cut pop song. 'Under the Bridge' is a song about heroin.
William Shatner: No comment
Busted: They make Good Charlotte look like Discharge in a particularly angry mood.
McFly: They make Busted look like a scandinavian death-core-grind-black-whatever metal band.
The Others: British media is currently pushing this band harder than a woman giving birth to a Llama. I saw them live and they made King Adora look like Cream.
Tears for Fears: Awful.
Extreme: They played at an early-nineties Donnington Rock festival. Just after Pantera and just before AC/DC. Needless to say they died a death.
Limp Bizkit: See below
Coal Chamber: See above
Primal Scream: Its hard to imagine a band going for as long as Primal Scream have without writing a catchy tune. Even the Stereophonics managed that.
har.
