Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-06-06

Oh, yeah! YEAH!! That feel so fucking GOOD!!!   ?   That's it! Keep it going! Don't STOP!! DON'T STO- what the FUCK?? GET THE FUCK OUT!!! CAN'T A GUY JACK OFF WITHOUT HIS STUPID FUCKING CAT LICKING HIS ASSHOLE?? You just can't please some people!

These are

".....based on real life adventures with my fucking cat. One can only guess what it was thinking!"

I can only guess what you were thinking...?
Ick!

Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-07-06

Oh, God... [*urp* ] I think I ate WAY too much Meow Mix! I think I'm going to be SICK... [ YAAAACCCKKK!! ] *Whew!* I feel much better! WHAT'S THIS? AH, FOR THE LOVE OF... IF YOU HAD TO BARF, DID YOU HAVE DO IT ON MY BRAND NEW $500 TREO, YOU STUPID FUCKING CAT??

Read all of them. Absoloutely loved a few of them. Ace.

This was not only last night, but last night is what made me think of it. Enjoy my pain:

Contribution to the "My Fucking Cat" Stories by attitudechicka 11-08-06

Everyone appears to be asleep. Now appears to be the perfect time to run up and down the halls as fast as I can. Then maybe I'll climb the draperies next to the bed, "forget" I still have my claws out, and land on my owner's legs.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

quote:

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This was not only last night, but last night is what made me think of it. Enjoy my pain:

Contribution to the "My Fucking Cat" Stories by attitudechicka 11-08-06

Everyone appears to be asleep. Now appears to be the perfect time to run up and down the halls as fast as I can. Then maybe I'll climb the draperies next to the bed, "forget" I still have my claws out, and land on my owner's legs.

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Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-09-06

Today, I heard someone say the Republicans lost the election because they're a bunch of "pussies"... I find that very OFFENSIVE! I mean... Who wants to be compared to those weak-ass dickheads?

Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-13-06

I just don't "get" Garfield...

Mexican Standoff by niteowl 2-03-06

Here's the ground rules. No biting in the ass, and no clawing of the eyes. Everything else goes? Yep. On second thought, I don't feel like fighting. I'd rather take a nap. Good call. We can get rested and instead have our little scrap at 2 in the morning while the humans are asleep. Remember the last fight, when we landed on his head? Priceless.

Attention Span by niteowl 11-13-06

*pant* *wheeze* So, did we get his attention yet? Nope, he's still looking at porn. What a pervert.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

quote:

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Mexican Standoff by niteowl 2-03-06

Here's the ground rules. No biting in the ass, and no clawing of the eyes. Everything else goes? Yep. On second thought, I don't feel like fighting. I'd rather take a nap. Good call. We can get rested and instead have our little scrap at 2 in the morning while the humans are asleep. Remember the last fight, when we landed on his head? Priceless.

Attention Span by niteowl 11-13-06

*pant* *wheeze* So, did we get his attention yet? Nope, he's still looking at porn. What a pervert.

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Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-18-06

♫ Felix the cat / The wonderful, wonderful cat / Whenever he gets in a fix / He reaches into his bag of tricks... ♫ ♫ Felix the cat / The wonderful, wonderful cat / You'll laugh so much your sides will ache / Your heart will go pit-a-pat / Watching Felix the cat! ♫ Damn! I can't get that fucking song out of my head...

Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-29-06

I kept scratching my owner's leather couch... ...so he had me declawed. Thank god he didn't have me "de-teethed"! Why are there bite marks all over my new pair of Kenneth Cole shoe- AHHHH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU STUPID, FUCKING CAT!!

Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-29-06

So, this is what it's like OUTSIDE! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE HOUSE, YOU STUPID FUCKING CAT!!

This one started it all;

RCL no. 1253 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-07-06

Further proof cats are autistic... Get out! Do you hear me, you stupid, fucking cat? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! (Based on actual daily battles I have with my stupid, fucking cat who won't GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!!) Duh... GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET...

RCL no. 924 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-06-06

The following actually happened... I'm hungry! Of course, you are, pussy! You just threw up the food I fed you not more than fifteen minutes ago! So? So, you ralphed over my $500 Treo and shorted it out! Then, I guess you're not going to be too happy about me taking a dump on your new, $700 duvet cover! WHAT?? That's it! I'm having the vet "fix" you again, and this time I'll tell him NOT to use anesthesia!!

groovy!

This may only be funny to me. by attitudechicka 12-22-06

Hey guys, whatcha doin'; goin' to sleep? Can I watch?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

attitudechicka

I like it!

Groovy! - More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 12-29-06

My owner and I are here on vacation in Jamaica... Today, I tried to bury three of the biggest turds I've ever seen laying in the sand... Turns out they weren't turds, but young Jamaican children sunning themselves!

Groovy! - New Year Predictions from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 12-30-06

So, next week is 2007... Big fucking DEAL! I predict our troops will still be in Iraq, Nancy Pelosi's face will melt off, revealing she's the Antichrist, the Chargers will win the Superbowl... ...and my owner will finally have that long-awaited aneurism! WHY ARE THERE USED CONDOMS ALL OVER THE BED, AND MY BOTTLE OF OLD SPICE EMPTY? AAAH, YOU STUPID, FUCKING CAT!!

Groovy! - More Predictions from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 1-02-07

In 2007, I also predict Iran will test detonate it's first atomic bomb... ...which will put the Israelis on alert, causing major tension in the oil markets... ...sending the price of catnip to over $300 per bushel! FUCK ME TO TEARS!!

Groovy! - More Predictions from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 1-02-07

In 2007, I also predict Tom Cruise will come out of the closet... ...which will be news to no one. Well, except for Val Kilmer, who should have known, because while filming "Top Gun", Cruise stuck his finger up Val's- 'Scuse me! Just passing through... What the FUCK??

Groovy! - More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 1-03-07

I heard a rumor going around that we cats suffer from autism... Have you ever heard such bullshit? Now, if you'll excuse me... It's three o'clock. Time for Wapner.

Groovy! - For PETA's Sake! by edoggydog 10-26-06

...then, I says, "Boards don't hit back!" Groovy! But, you know what REALLY chaps my ass? When I was de-clawed, I got calls from the ASPCA and PETA asking me if I wanted to press charges against my owner for such cruelty to animals... Wow. However, when I got my nuts sawed off, not one PEEP from those so-called, animal-loving assholes! I had mine removed voluntarily... Claws, that is...

Groovy! - More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 1-03-07

Today, on they way to my vet appointment, I saw a homeless man hurriedly walking along the highway, as if he were headed somewhere... I mean... Where the fuck does a homeless man need go? He's HOMELESS! It's been driving me nuts just thinking about it! MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW? MEOW... HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING, YOU STUPID FUCKING CAT?!?