Beating an Undead Horse by brycekain 2-22-10

BLAH! I VANT TO SUCK-- mmmm....sounds good. Let me turn around and give you something to really suck, you sexy piece of undead man-meat! Uh...sorry! Drakulah voted YES on Prop_8!

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Random Comic Layout Button Redux by brycekain 2-22-10

Why the fuck do I keep getting dracula when I hit Random Comic Layout? We need the work. I'm just here for the dirty sanchez.

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Subliminal Advertising(?) by brycekain 2-22-10

Try all our Hostess products! Ding Dongs! Ho Hos! Suzie Qs! Sno Balls! Fruit Pies! FUCK! Now I'm horny!

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I'm Truly Going to Hell for This One... by brycekain 2-22-10

And in other news...A major earthquake struck southern Haiti on Tuesday. Several eyewitnesses reported heavy damage in the streets. More than 200,000 bodies have been picked up in the streets... sources say that the death toll could tragically arrive at 300,000. We will continue to hope and pray for the families of the deceased. *GASP!* I can't take much more of... Who said you could stop, bitch? BACK UNDER THE TABLE!!

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sluhyfakldshgdfhgdskfrghlsdkfhgdfhgieurhgierhgifdshgdifhgfdi by brycekain 2-22-10

No one believes you are AtheistDiary! Prepare to die! Wait! I can prove it to you! AtheistDiary was a narcissistic fuckstick that constantly made up strips about his anal fetish just so he could get attention from newbie crack whores! AHA! IT IS I, JESUS! Not to mention beat a good joke to fuckin' death.

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How Columbine Really Began... by brycekain 2-23-10

Suicide Hotline, may I help you? I just don't feel like life is worth living! Lemme guess. You're a teenager, listen to Marilyn Manson, get picked on at school, and you hate it when your mom drops you off at the mall in the mini van. Yes? How...how did you know? Yeah, buy a gun or suck it up, fuckstick. It don't get much better than this. *DING!*

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Another Moment in ????? by brycekain 2-23-10

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/4419/1688861 I'm fucking scarred for life.

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Rob Zombie Directs CSI Miami Next Monday (I couldn't resist) by brycekain 2-24-10

The DNA showed the perp was in the building and-- Yes... but_after_all_this... I_feel_like ... taking_my... sunglasses... off... DNA MAKE HUNGRY FOR BRAINS!!! RUUUNNN, RABBIT!! RUUUUUUN, RABBIT, RUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *SPLATTER* *VAGINA SHOT* *OBSCURE CELEB* *GURGLE* *BLOODY BUTT CRACK* THAT'S A WRAP!!!!

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JFK (in bed) by brycekain 3-01-10

Back and to the left... Back and to the left... Back ... and to the left... Back ...... and to the left... JUST HIT MY G-SPOT ALREADY, YOU CUNT! ...Back and to the left...

 

Sven the Haphazardly Gynecologist by brycekain 3-01-10

HAPPY BIRT-DAY!!! Uh...thank you, what did I win? FREE ABOR-CHUN!! ABORTION?? But I can't -- An' dat, Mr. Lawyerman, iz ven I realize old lady iz really old man! Who the fuck are you?

 

FTC#148 Double Your Pleasure! by brycekain 3-02-10

I think I'll take a break. I have to tinkle... WAIT SARAH DON'T!!! What the?? You look just like me! Who are you? I'm you from the future. I went back in time to warn you about something very important. 5 hours (and 1 dildo) later I ... can't ... believe... Today's lesson: never trust a stem-cell clone with a donkey punch fetish.

Flattery Will Get You Slapped in the Taint! by brycekain 3-03-10

WHAT?!?!? HOLY FUCK YOU GOT BIG KNOCKERS!!!

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Thou Shall Not Worship False Idols by brycekain 3-03-10

Good morning, my son. Have you thought about giving your soul to Jesus? *SLAM!* Good afternoon. Would you like to pray for-- *SLAM!* WORSHIP ME OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah...the one TRUE religion!

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Lassie 2010 by brycekain 3-05-10

*RUFF!* What's that, girl? Timmy's stuck in a well? *GRRRRRRRR* *RUFF!!* Timmy had a bunion stuck inside his pickle hole?? Ruff? FUCK I took too much acid!

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Corey Haim: Former Living Star by brycekain 3-10-10

Actor Corey Haim dead at 38. Oh my... Haim, 38, was pronounced dead after 3 a.m. Details of his death were not immediately available. Haim was a teen star in the 1980s in such movies as "The Lost Boys" and "License to Drive." May he rest in peace where ever he is... Meanwhile in Hell... Wait, wait! But I did so much to help bring happiness to millions of people! Yeah, did you actually SEE License to Drive? You're lucky I don't have you sodomized by Long Dong Silver!

All Stars Go to Hell by brycekain 3-10-10

Brittany Murphy But I did a lot of roles that made people think! Plus I helped support Ovarian Cancer research and many other charity causes! Sorry, once you get Eminemed and Kutchered, it's practially a one way ticket. Billy Mays HI! BILLY MAYS HERE FOR... WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? Yeah, I bought that Oxiclean shit. You have no excuse, dickhole. Michael Jackson HEE HEE! Oh, like you didn't see this one coming...

 

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That's All, Ho's! by brycekain 3-13-10

Congratulations, Mr. Pig! You have a litter of beautiful baby bunnies! thuh thee thee thuh - THAT CHEATING WHORE!! Well, it's too late for an abortion... s ss suh ss suh suh - so what do I do? Why not try Cambell's new Hossenfeffer Surprise!? Can I get that with a side of cheating vagina bacon?

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Because He is Loved... by brycekain 3-13-10

Happy birthday to this horrible, yet historical building! Why is it so special? Here, sometime in the 1900's, a filthy, disease-ridden gopher rapist with serious vaginal pus excretions will be shat out of an equine's poo-poo hole. Lord_Vodek, huh? Yeah... A fuckin' travesty.

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The Optical Delusion by brycekain 3-15-10

Is He Looking at Her? Or Farting Her Away....? weeeeee!!!

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Type O Positive by brycekain 3-21-10

The vampire... moving ever so quietly... stalking his unsuspecting prey... leans in for the attack...nothing can stop him now...nothing... Herpes.

Ass Men by brycekain 3-21-10

We Ax Men get up at the crack of dawn every mornin' and drag ourselves out even if it's below zero! We put our lives on tha' line everyday! It's miserable, it's back breaking, and we barely survive each job! We can't even afford to pay our medical bills! So what the hell is the upside? After work we all go to town and fart on whores.

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Won't You Feed the Chitlins? by brycekain 3-25-10

This is little Maria. Her home is an impoverished village where disease is common. She'll be lucky to live the rest of the week. Won't you give -- Hey aren't you the famous actor Alan Sader? Uh... From Evan Almighty? And Dawson's Creek? And Matlock? And King Kong Lives? Why? Why don't YOU give me some money, you rich son of a bitch?? You're standing right in front of me!!

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And Intervention of Unfarny Proportions by brycekain 3-27-10

Dear Certain Strippers, in recent years there have been some of you that have asked for feedback on your comics. This desire for feedback eventually turned into needy acceptance. And while TOBOR enjoy cornhole like next robot... We're starting to think you're just a whiney douchebag in dire need of Prozac laced with arsenic. So while it's perfectly fine to ask for advice with your funny making, if you don't get the response you want & you wish to whine about it, please do us a favor and take your fuckin' medication first. I'm lookin' at you,TARDkain!

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Based on True Events by brycekain 3-27-10

I'm sorry, my dislexia sometimes messes up my reading. Could you tell me if my flight is at this gate? Pffffft...whatever, FATHER. Yo' ticket just like ev'ry otha'. Maybe ya should pray ta Jesus fo' some new eyes... Tnuc.

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Now THAT was funny!

Sadly, that basic situation happened to me last week while flying out to North Carolina. Minus the priest, minus the Jesus comment (the comment was made towards my Dr. House tshirt). As with life, the funny was added later.

So moral of the story: Never fly into Atlanta airport and expect employees to be helpful, kind, or of the non-Tnuc persuasion. 

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Heh heh heh heheheheheheheheheHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!!!! by brycekain 3-30-10

Next on Nick Jr... I don't understand. He just turned on the t.v. for Suzie and... and... *sob* The poor bastard didn't anticipate the hypnotic monotony of Moose A. Moose. ♫ Are we there yet...? ♫ Are we there yet...? ♫ Are we there yet...? ♫ Are we there yet...? ♫ Are we there yet...? ♫ Are we there yet...? ♫ Are we ther

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Kaufman...dude...for the love of FUCK! JUDGE THIS SOMNABITCH by brycekain 3-30-10

*thunk* *THUNK!!!!!* What the HELL was THAT?!? Kaufman. AGAIN?? I'm gunna keep running that sunuvabitch over til he judges this damn contest. If you kill him, can I have his inflatable Hitler doll?

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Ooooh KAUFMAN! by brycekain 4-02-10

AAAAAAAHHH!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?! Kaufman hasn't judged the contest yet. How big is his gawdamn house??