Synonymous loopholes by atomiclunch 1-31-16

Hey. Hey. Aren't you The Undertaker? Yeah, my manager sent me to get a straight jacket for my bout against ragu4u. Can you hook me up? Against Ragu4u? Hell, I'll Chen-derize him FOR you! He never called me back after "That Night". Let's see what we've got for ya. You know, now that I think about it... Later... I know, boss. Straight jacket. Well, this jacket sure as hell ain't gay, is it? Good thinkin', boy! I'll call Ragu and let him know that his condition has been met, to the letter!

Another hitch by atomiclunch 2-01-16

So, that's the deal. Tit for tat, UT wears a costume, YOU wear a costume, of their choosing. Shit. I didn't figure on them pulling this. Well, what's it gonna be, then? I have it in back, you go ahead and get undressed. Uhhh... Jeez, don't be bashful, we're all guys here. There's nothing we haven't seen before. But there's a thing you should know.

Ragu4u Up Close and Personal! by atomiclunch 2-01-16

What, belt stuck? Here, let me give you a hand. I used to be a tailor, did you know that? Um, you should probably stand - *Tug* *Pull* *FlapRiiiipppTHUD* *WHACK* *BIFF!* AAIIIEEE!!! - back... Biff? Sorry.

Say it loud! by atomiclunch 2-02-16

Ragu tries on the new 'stume. Now, put on that costume! Son, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? er, ragu4u? WHAT?! Ragu4u! I CAN'T HEEEARRR YEEEWWW!!! RAGU4U! RAGU4U!! RAGU4U!!! RRRROOOAAARRR!

Wear it proud! by atomiclunch 2-02-16

Now, let's hear that catch phrase! CAN YOU SMELL THE RAGU COOKIN'? YES! Say, you hid "it" with the chicken? Of course I did, why? I thought it'd take 2 or 3 chickens at least. Naw, I roll it up. It's like one of those stretchy hoses you order off the tv.

Get it fouled! by atomiclunch 2-02-16

Watch, this is gonna be the topper! There's one other piece to the costume. Jeez, what else? Say, funny thing, I kinda CAN smell the Ragu Cookin'! Yeah, about that. Earl? Go ahead. AAIIEEE! Hey, that's Old World Style! I prefer Spicy Italian!

Your move, Ragu by atomiclunch 2-02-16

Well done, Chen. Here's your bonus. Thank you sir. Always a pleasure to do business with you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a flight to catch. *KNOCK KNOCK* Right on time. Helmut! We need to discuss something! That's a bold new look, Rags. Yeah, I'm rethinking the whole straight jacket thing...

I've been having WAY too much fun with this.

Protect the kids! by atomiclunch 2-09-16

I'm reporting live from the Gold Medal Arena where the much-anticipated match between ragu4u and the undertaker has been called off, what happened, Mr. 4u? It seems that the powers-that-be caught wind of what might happen at the "Bloodbath in Brainerd", so they bailed. How would that happen? Don't know, but it shut down the "Deathmatch in Dubuque", the "Armageddon in Amarillo" and the "Achin' in Aiken" bouts, too. Earlier... That's right, my name is Deep Throat. You don't want this kind of violence in your fine city, think of the children! You're right, Mr. Throat! We're gonna call off the bout!

Eventually, you'll figure it out. by atomiclunch 2-09-16

The morning after the cancellation in Brainerd. Hey Rags, good to see ya. Better meet with Helmut, find out where the next venue to cancel is going to be. Hey, s'up, UT?  ??

At last, a manly venue! by atomiclunch 2-09-16

Ragsy, good to see ya! Too bad about last night's match, eh? Yeah, looks like we'll need to do some venue shopping. *Real Places! No need, Mr. Chen found us the perfect place. One where they don't give a shit what we do! We can't miss, now! Wow. Where is this one? Fresno? Detroit? Beav-o-rama, Arkansas*? Crapo, MD*? Tickets! Tickets! Get tickets to the "Mopup in Mogadishu" here! Wow, you're REALLY new around here, aren't you?

Another one bites the dust... by atomiclunch 2-13-16

We find Rags and his latest stand-in candidate at training camp going over pirated footage of The Undertaker in training... So this is a chokeslam.  mm  Working on defense strategies, it would seem. Now, this is the big one, the "Tombstone Piledriver".   !   So, Kikkoman4u, I figur...

Oh, it ain't done, yet. by atomiclunch 2-22-16

Ragu4u has a realization... Haven't heard from The Undertaker in a while. Maybe he finally fell into the fires of Mt. Doom... AAAAAAUUUGGHH! Hey Rags, coffee? I'd recommend decaf.

St. Louie Slash 'n Bleed - Starring Ragu4u! - 1 by atomiclunch 3-12-16

The day of the bout? Already?? Well, it's about to happen. Why are we doing this on a football pitch? The Undertaker feels that the vuvuzelas to celebrate his inevitable victory are more appropriate here. Can I have a shot of pain killer? Haha, pain killers are for winners ragu. See you at the wak, er.. end of the match. Who the hell are you?

St. Louie Slash 'n Bleed - Starring Ragu4u! - 2 by atomiclunch 3-12-16

!   I'm The Undertaker, Ragu, let's A scene of NC17 rated violence. GET READY TO RUMBLE!! RRRROOOOOAAAARRRRR! I won! I'm the man! FAAAME! I'm gonna live forever! The ragu4u/undertaker bout is postponed after ragu savagely beat down local funeral director, Tim Reaper, who was trying to fit him for a casket. His bail was paid by Donald Trump, who says "He can work security at my rallies anytime".

Ragu's sudden plot twist. by atomiclunch 4-06-16

Hi, I'm The Undertaker, I'm supposed to come here for some kind of stress test before the bout with ragu. Nice to meet you. Let's get right to it, then! SHAZAM! Oh god, it's chunky! BREAKING SHIT! HOLY NEWS! The Undertaker has bitten the dust!

Time to evacuate! by atomiclunch 4-06-16

The next day... Rags, you've been awfully chipper today. Haven't you heard? The Undertaker is history! That IS good news. It'll save you some money, soiling your undies every time there's a funny noise must get costly! I don't know what you're talking about! I'm just glad I didn't have to hurt him! dun dun DUUNN! *ffffffffffpbblllbbllblbbllll. pbbl* *plap* Oh, this isn't over! I'm coming 4u..eh..er.. 4U!

Gender identity crisis. by atomiclunch 4-07-16

And just who the hell are you? I am the SON of the Undertaker! or possibly the daughter, i'm not sure, really... but I'm here to TAKE YOU DOWN!   ?   Could you do me a solid? I'll drop trou, you tell me what you see down there. It's about time I got a definitive answer for that. Meanwhile... Where did I go WRONG with that kid? I may have to come back and finish this myself!