Rudolph's search for a doe continues.

CC88: Reindeer Games, part 10 by fpd 12-25-01

Hey Rudolph, you don't need no doe! What you need is a good long drag. Get away from me, you disgusting fag. Ooh, what bigotry! What do you have against fags, Mr. Snooty Nose? They're smelly, and the smoke makes me sick. Well, I've never met a ruder person. That must be why they call you Rude-olph, because you're so rude! If there's one thing I learned from my pal Frosty, it's that smoking is bad.

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Whoa this time my entry doesn't suck:

Darth MallSanta by TheElPaso 12-26-01

Hey kid, what can Santa get you for Christmas this year? I want a Harry Potter magic levitator and some pokemon cards! ..... ..... Too fucking bad, kid.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

Winter / Spring Romance by fuzzyman 12-26-01

He proposed right after Christmas. In the end, however, they would have to break off their engagement. Bob had cold feet and Marge was frigid. Everyone said they wouldn't last through March, anyway.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

It's All In The Planning by fuzzyman 12-26-01

Now that Christmas is over, it's time to start planning for next year. What toys do we have on tap? Let's see... We have the Teddy Kennedy Bear: "He's big and cuddly. Why not let him buy you a drink? Need a ride home? He's going your way. Water resistant." Hmmm. Anything else? What about video games? Ah, we have Immortal Kombat: God vs. Nietzche. When Nietzche wins the voice processor says "God is dead!" And for the girls? We're still trying to decide among Baby RuPaul, Heroin-Addict Barbie, and Kevorkian Kitchen.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Christmas With K-Tel by fuzzyman 12-26-01

So you say that if I record a Country Christmas album now, right after Christmas, it will be ready for next Christmas? Exactly! We have lots of great songs for you like "I'll be Home for Christmas If the Truck Don't Break Down," and "We Three Kings Beat Your Two Pair." How about "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town So Hide The Grits" or "Go Tell It On The Mountain Cuz Ya Ain't Welcome In The Valley?" Yes! And also, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Shot Him" and "Silver Bells Hangin' From My Cow." My favorite is "Silent Nights Are Really Depressing Since My Wife Left Me And I Burned Down The House." I'm partial to "Carol Of The Bells Killed Zamfir Of The Pan Flute," myself.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I slipped over the return key; intended title: Miracle in Cell Block 34

CC 88 by kaufman 12-26-01

You can't keep us in here. Don't you know who I am? We sure do, Mr. Claus. And we're charging you with cruelty to animals, evading customs and smuggling, ... violating restricted airspace, speeding, 75,218,341 counts of breaking and entering, another 30 million or so petty larceny... Sheeeee, man, you hear that? He's baaaad! You can't lock me up wid him!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Reindeer Games continues with Rudolph's ongoing quest to find a doe.

CC88: Reindeer Games, part 11 by fpd 12-26-01

Fpd has recently graduated to the ranks of Pink Donkey Wrangler, and we would like to commemorate this special moment by ... Are you a doe? I think I'm a mare, 'cause my young-uns pa is a stallion. Is a mare like a doe? Yee-hah! I might get some flying mule deer out of this. Are things getting hot, or is it just me?

CC88: Reindeer Games, part 12 by fpd 12-26-01

Are you a doe? No, I'm a bitch. That isn't a nice thing to say about yourself. What's it to you? I'm a bitch and proud of it. I'm just saying ... Listen up, bucko! This bitch wants a real s.o.b., not any old horny stag. Scram before I have to chase you away!

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fpd and I must be going for quantity, not quality.

Upon Santa's Return, He Finds... by fuzzyman 12-26-01

It's true, Santa. While you were delivering presents to children around the world, I was having hot, sweaty sex with Mrs. Claus! But why? You were always such a good little boy! It was the apple cider.. it went to my head. And Mrs. Claus... well, I've always had a thing for older women. Hmph! Well, don't expect anything except coal in your stocking next year, young man! Okay, you can come out now... he's gone. Thanks for covering for me, man. He'd fire my ass if he knew about me and his missus.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

No, all of my strips have been part of one extended entry, continuing a single storyline. I've been aiming at one quality entry rather than multiple entries of varying quality.

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I didn't break rule 4, as far as I can tell. I didn't use any of the new art, either, even though I wanted to...

CC 88: Holiday for Santa by NeoVid 12-26-01

Another Christmas goes off without a hitch! Ah, it's done with for another year, and we can all take our time off and get back to our ordinary lives. Gotta roll, Kris. The wife always gets real hot when I tell her about all the hard work I did over the past month. I hear ya, man. I'm just glad to get out of this damned costume and into my normal outfit. Whew, much better.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Comic by Mr_Jass 12-26-01

Hey Santa I will disguise you as myself. This sucks.

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

weres santa? by Mr_Jass 12-26-01

Did you know that Santa Claus is a were-reindeer? GRAA! Now why does that only happen when nobody's looking?

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

santa crab by Mr_Jass 12-26-01

HEY LITTLE GIRL WHAT DO YOU WANT? I want the "CLEAN AND CLEAN MILLENIAL CLEAN" Barbie set! BUT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD DO YOUR WASHING AT THE WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH! WASH AND WASH is for people who suck dick! I DO NOT SUCK DICK! Right....

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

there's a cocky in your jass! by Mr_Jass 12-26-01

First of all, I'm the only holiday character in this strip. Second of all, this is the snowscape background. Third of all, I am cast as a tentacle porn star. Fourth of all, the background behind me should only be used once, but it is there twice. Finally, the comic violates Rule Number 4. That's okay, habnem worships me (as does anyone with at least half a brain cell), so he'll let me win anyways. Oh, and by the way, that tentacle gets me horny.

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

Comic Contest 88 - Santa Claus, coal baron by evil_d 12-27-01

Santa, now that Christmas is over, the gang and I were wondering if we could maybe have a few days of vacation. Vacation?? You should be grateful I let you keep your job at all, after that strike you organized back in June! Get back to work before I feed you to the reindeer! I don't get it. We mine coal 365 days a year, but most children still get presents in their stockings! Where does all the coal go? Damn it! Only 25 million tons this year! How are we supposed to keep the fires of eternal torment burning with this? Guess you just weren't bad enough this year, boss. Next year, let's try bombing Amnesty International's headquarters or something.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC88: Girls are from Venus; Snowmen are from Pluto by fpd 12-27-01

Hey, baby, you look hot. Are you hitting on me, mister? He's not hitting on you, little girl. But he said I'm hot. How is that not hitting on me? It's just his way of telling you to stay away, because he doesn't want to melt. I wish men would just say what they mean.

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CC88: How Pagan Gods Cope by fpd 12-27-01

How did you do it, Herne? Do what, Beelzebub? When the Christians took over, you got this sweet gig as a lovable saint, whereas I got cast as a devil. It's not as sweet as you think. I just put on two faces to the world. I'm both Saint Nick and Old Nick. Maybe people would like me better as a snowman who sings and dances. I'm sure they will. They fear hellfire so much, they're sure to love a man made of snow.

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Cherry and Son by Mr_Jass 12-27-01

I love cherries more than anything else! CHOMP Now them's good eatin', but could you stop balancing them on your nose?

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

Santa Clones by fuzzyman 12-27-01

Santa Clones! Report! Mission completed within assigned parameters sir. Gift Division has delivered presents to 1.8 billion children. Likewise, the Coal Division has delivered 22 metric tons of coal to the bad children of the world. Excellent! Anything else to report? Yes, sir. The major news outlets are reporting on your cloning experiments. Everyone now knows that you have cloned yourself and are using a clone army to reduce your workload. What? How did this get out? We're not sure, sir, but we think there's a leak! A leak? Wait... Damn! Who turned up the heat?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC88 - Merry Ker-istmas! by kramer_vs_kramer 12-28-01

Phew, Christmas is over. Now we can get out of these damn disguises. It's about time too. I must have gone through a million bloody houses last night. KER-TRANS-FORM! KER-TRANS-FORM! Decepticons! So what did you get? Nothing! I'm beginning to suspect this "Christmas Spirit" isn't a real drink.

CC 88: Post-Holiday Press Conference by kaufman 12-28-01

So, what will you all do now that Christmas is over? I've got a big contract with Keebler lined up. They've got a major biscuit shipment to Scotland they need prepared. I'll be playing the Wicked Witch of the West in a traveling production of The Wizard of Oz. You won't want to miss my exit scene! I've been pining fir a few weeks in Tinseltown. I maple out of the city and head to the beech - I've gotta spruce up my tan, yew know.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

groan

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC88 Reindeer Recollection by Jabizo 12-28-01

Ahhh! Another successful Christmas thanks to my glowing red mutant shnoz. Come on Rudulph, it was a team effort. All the reindeer worked together to get the job done. Well, no thanks to Blitzen. How long did it take us to drag him out of Amsterdam? And just what where you doing for so long at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch? Oh you know Mikey. He just loves to pet the animals. Hmm, that reminds me.. I wonder why that monkey he had was pleading so badly to come with us.

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Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

CC88: After Christmas Trip by Jabizo 12-28-01

Boo Hoo! I have a horrible case of the post-Christmas blues. And my crying is only assisting my own inevitable demise when winter ends. Tell me about it! It's just a matter of days before I am stripped of my colorful ornaments and throw out on the curb to die a slow pitiful death. What do ya say we pack ourselves in ice and ship ourselves to Greenland to make a better life together? Its just so crazy it might work! This box is nice and roomy but are you sure this is ice you packed in here with us? I feel kinda weird. Did you mean ice like water ICE?! Oops, I thought you meant... Ahh.. Whee!! My star helps me float over those puffy marshmallows!

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Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

Here's a sequel to my last strip.

CC88: A Visit Between Friends After Christmas by fpd 12-28-01

Beware the wrath of dread Dormammu! Chill, fire-top, it's me, Beelzebub, lord of the flies. So it is. What's with the new look, old friend? With my new gig as Frosty the Snowman, kids just love me during Christmas time. Kids will surely love me as a reindeer with a glowing red nose. And I love the whole underdog angle. Kids will really relate to that.

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