how could anyone take pride in being a newbie?
that's like saying "look at me, i've got herpes!"
the rest of us are taking our zantax or whatever, trying to suppress, and we have to deal with your crap...

in related news i have herpes, so every analogy i ever make from this day forward will be herpes related.

in other news i don't have herpes, you need to get people to touch you for that.

---
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer

Heh. I'd be more of a regular, but I VANISH INTO THIN ETHER too much. Anyway...

As far as the noobs go... in my book, you got to EARN respect, not beg, plead or bitch for it.

Now start earning, mofos.

Or else I'll hafte to, y'know, do something.

Yeah.

-DH1

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Needs more sodomy.

Um....ok I know how to get respect.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

You forgot the dog on the ball.

-DH1

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Needs more sodomy.

The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote by DH-01 1-04-02

Apparently, there happens to be a so-called 'newbie revolution' going on right now. As far as what this revolution entails... So far, I, DH-01, have seen nothing more than very bitter attempts at mocking just about everything considered a 'regular'. This does not equal talent, it equals being a troll, be it on text or comic. If the vanguard of this revolution consists of such 'luminaries' as dcomposed, xpac and their ilk... then this is not so much a revolution of style as it is a revolting style in general.. I am not naturally a mean man. I am a nice one, all things considered. But when people magically appear and demand to be taken serious after taking jabs at everyone who's spent months making comics... ... well, it pisses me off. If there are any actual honest-to-God newbies who would like to stop whining, belly-aching and insulting people, please come forward and be recognized as not being stupid. As for the rest ... well, they say that a fool only has as much influence as the people around him are willing to give him. I will give you none. Expect the same from others. Good day.

Swallow.

-DH1

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Needs more sodomy.

ok heres some more

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Batman created by Bob Kane

SHIT, I'm not a newbie anymore.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Correct, sir.

Now instead of being a clueless newbie fucktard, you're just a clueless fucktard.

How's them apples?

-DH1, suddenly angry as hell

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Needs more sodomy.

Hey, why do you get to call me a clueless fucktard. I dont remember ever calling you a clueless fucktard.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Dear dcompressed,

We happily acknowledge the humorous newbies as they show up here.

So Abused, So Understood by Spankling 9-27-01

I got stomped again! And this time by the power newbie! Why?!? Same old reason, Spanks. You suck. And you can stop beggin' at me. It ain't workin'. I've seen better subs in highschool gym class. Get a life. *sob* I can't take this abuse (for once)! And who are you? Your worst nightmare. A power newbie with a wit! Step off baldy!

It isn't your newbie status we don't like.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I dont get it, Why dont you like me?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

If you had to wait until someone called you something to call them the same thing, then we'd still be waiting, waiting, and they'd be waiting, waiting. And that, my friend, would be boring, you clueless fucktard.

And as long as we're on the same thread, does anyone here remember elvishitler and comicboy34? They were both anti-regular, and where are they now? Gone. This is because they had to make a choice: either leave, or become the regulars they were so against. If your goal is to get rid of regulars, I doubt any of them are going to see "oh no, dcomposed said I was gay, I'd better leave this site for eternity." Unless you know where the regulars LIVE and can go smash their COMPUTERS, they're gonna be here until they get murdered by some fuck. So eventually, you're either gonna leave or be regulars. Please, do me, the regulars, and yourselves, and especially Brad a favor and leave now, dcomposed and xpac, that or wise up and stop being anti-regular. You don't necessarily have to LIKE any of them or even RESPECT any of them, just don't be against them due to their status.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

I can't say anything about you in particular, but most newbies get slammed when they make completely unfunny comics and act like those comics are hysterical.

Newbie or not, the people who get respect around here are the ones who make funny comics, at least on occasion. We all make our share of stinkers, but some of us can tell the good from the bad.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I'll give you an example. What is funny about this?

or this?

or this?

I'm not picking on you, but... show me the funny!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I thought my nine part series about santa was pretty funny.

Santa the zoophile part 1 by dcomposed 1-02-02

At santas workshop... I would like to be having sex with you reindeer If you do not comply so will no longer be able to guuide my sleigh WHAT?

Santa the zoophile part 2 by dcomposed 1-02-02

Well rudolph, It would appear that all this time you wer my arch nemisis, clappy Thats right, and after I kill you I will rape all you reindeer NOOOOOOOO! you cant do that, those reindeer, there mylife yeah well soon you wont have a life youll never get away with this....... Oh yes I am

Santa the zoophile part 3 by dcomposed 1-02-02

The reindeer will never let my have sex with them if I'm a paper clip I have an Idea All I need is this cool santa costume, wich i got from wallmart at a low, low price

Santa the zoophile part 4 by dcomposed 1-02-02

Reindeer! Get your ass over here How about If I spread holiday cheer all over your sexy, sexy body and then lick it off Excuse me? Shut youre mouth woman, I'm getting horny, bend over so i can have sex with your anus NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, your not santa!

Santa the zoophile part 5 by dcomposed 1-02-02

WHAT? how did you know? Your suit says wallmart on it, Santa gets his suit from the dumpster outside the toy store ok you got me, It was me all along, and now I will suck on your heaving breasts AHHHHH, You bastard, you gored me! Oops, my bad

[Click to view comic: 'Santa the zoophile part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Santa the zoophile part 7']
[Click to view comic: 'Santa the zoophile part 8']
[Click to view comic: 'Santa the zoophile part 9']

or this
[ Posted comic does not exist ]

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Batman created by Bob Kane

look i can use spaces okay? now go fuck off by xpac 1-04-02

The regulars don't seem to like my "leave out spaces" gimmick. As opposed to the "red assraping robot" which they love. Oh well, they're all dumbfucks. Who cares what they think?

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we're sending our love down the WE-ELL-ELL-ELL! WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!

Your santa series seemed like something I would have done. Only difference is if I would have done it, it would have been alot funnier. The other comic you posted was just crap.

If you wanna see what a comic series is supposed to look like then feast your eyes on this.

? by crabby 11-14-01

Excuse me but are you the Professor of Love at this University? Why it just so happens that I am, how can I help you? I want you to create nipples for me so I can feel the sensation of having them tweeked by my lover. Thats an odd request but I suppose I owe it to you. I did impregnate you with my seed while I built you. Your little bolts daddy? I think you knew it all along. I'd like to meet him if you don't mind. I have many questions I'd like to ask.

? 2 by crabby 11-14-01

Little Bolt is here, do you think you can handle seeing him. My whole life has been leading up to this moment. The time has come to reach my destiny! Are you my mommy? Hell no, I'm your Daddy you ungrateful son of a bitch! Now I hid money in your anus so bend over so I can retrieve it. I've already found the money and given it away to my pirate lover. I also found your blue prints and sold them to Dr. Bluto. Dr. Bluto my arch nemises! You bastard. However I was prepared for this, in 10 seconds your mothers circuits will shut down and she will die. I will then melt her down and wear her around my neck.

? 3 by crabby 11-14-01

I'll lead you to Dr. Bluto just don't melt her down. As a precaution I'm still shuting her circuits down and I'll melt her when I get back. Deal! Lets get going. Lets go. These blue prints for the Ultimate Man don't seem right. I am the Ultimate Man!

? 4 THE END by crabby 11-14-01

Heres the laboratory now I must flee. Good luck to you Son. May all your dreams come true. I wish you the best. I'm here to take back my blue prints Dr. Bluto. I've already built your Ultimate man made love to him and then eaten his bones for power. You can take your blue prints fool. You've beaten me again Dr. Bluto. I hate you! Sigh, I will always love you kind sir!

dude crabby that series was so gay it maks the assraping robot seem funny. but that dcomposed one was the shit.

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we're sending our love down the WE-ELL-ELL-ELL! WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!

*ahem* One last thing, then I leave this thread alone. One of my older comics.

A Special Funfun Time Message by DH-01 5-22-01

A Special Message from Sachiko! I'd like to take a break from thoughts of homicide to dwell on a very important, and potentially life-threatening condition affecting millions worldwide. This cancer to the world's overall health and sanity is known coloquially as 'stupidity'. Hundreds are infected every day, and spread this disease to others without even knowing the harm caused by it. If you know someone who's contracted Human Stupidity Syndrome, contact your local CDC immediatly and try to stay away from them. You could be next. Thank you, and goodnight.

Some things never change.

-DH1

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Needs more sodomy.

I wasn't reamed when I first appeared in the forums, although, I put this down to the fact that I'd been making comic strips for 6 months prior to my debut, and I read the FAQ.

I don't see much of a future for xpac, dcomposite seems to WANT to be liked, but, I guess it's up to him wether he wants to stay or not.

TheElPaso appeared in the middle of the "Newbie Revolution" and I reamed him, relentlessly, which was a bit harsh to be honest, but he stuck through it and is now, technically, a regular.

I'm sure I had a point I wanted to make when I started this post, but.....

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Dad was flammable

Here's my better 2 comics, very recent, one on Xmas day, and the other is my last one, wait a minute I haven't made a comic in ages, suppose I should start again, or maybe not.....

The cop and pimp: for the second out of many times I presume by Bazilla 12-28-01

You are now under arrest anything you do say will be... Wait a minute my brother, this is wack, see this fly girl was driving past so I had to speed up. ...and then this big ol' lampost came my way! swish

I'm black honest by Bazilla 12-30-01

You are under arrest by the... No wait, my homie, me brother, listen it was that other brothers fault! See my brother was racing me, dude it was wack! 'sup? swish

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Let's see ...
[list][*]Annoying typing gimmick
[*]Finally talking about giving it up
[*]Uses bongo as his character
[/list]
I've got to lay off the cough medicine. It's giving me these freaky flashbacks!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

dcompile - you're starting to come across as a person. I have more trouble hating that than the abrasive persona you were using at the start. Try not starting wars and just pop up with something funny now and then and you'll have no trouble here.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I'm pretty sure they're both regs in disguise, but what the hell this is just in case...

xpac, if you're going to bitch about the regulars liking unfunny gimmicks, at least be funny about it like dcomposed was. But then again, you did name yourself after one of the most annoying wrestlers whose matches I had the displeasure of sitting through so in that regard I actually think the gimmick was fitting.

dcomposed, the "How to make a comic" comics were damn smooth. I don't care for most of your stuff but those were unusually fun.

xpac, I welcome you into the Collective.

Our numbers are swelling. I'm thinking of starting a contest which only newbies are allowed to enter (i.e. newbies in spirit. They don't have to have the 'stripcreator newbie' tag. You and I both know if you're a newbie or not). How many newbies would be interested in such a contest?

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THE NEWBIES HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT THEIR CHAINS