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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

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I am fairly average-looking bloke - I think I sit at the halfway point on the spectrum bound at oppostire ends by The Elephant Man and Ricky Martin, but I never had too much trouble with women. I am terribly shy (shut the fuck up, all of you - I am shy!) which certainly doesn't help, but between the ages of sixteen and twenty I had three serious girlfriends (the third of whom I later married), a one night stand (cheap and sleazy, but I figure everyone should do it once), and a lot of strong flirting that would have let to relationships under different circumstances. These girls ranged from fairly average-looking through to extremely attractive. Wanna know what I have learned?

Looks mean fuck all.

A gorgeous woman may treat you like a stray dog, a plain woman may treat you like a king, but neither is guaranteed, nor even probable. Looks certainly have some effect on first impressions (unless you meet online, as Bec and I did) but it is personality and sttitude which form a real relationship, and decide whether that relationship will survive. Picking up "fat chicks" because you figure they will be desperate for attention is not only sleazy beyond belief, but it is also a certain route to unhappiness, loneliness, and frustration.

I have one observation which I think may be of use to you: People are attracted to those who make them feel good. Real relationships are built on more, but this is a strong foundation. If you make a girl feel attractive, wanted, needed, and appreciated, she will respond positively. One of the things I love about my wife is that she makes me want to be a better person, to do all I can to make her happy. You make someone feel special, unique, and loved, and you will have a much better chance than if you are simply looking for a root from some girl you figure is desperate.

Believe me - compared to love, sex on its own is pretty lousy. Good sex with someone you really love, on the other hand...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

1-22-02 6:05am (new)
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Jael
Resident Wench

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Amen Dexx. Guess there is something to be said about getting wiser as we get older. ;)

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

1-22-02 8:09am (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

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There certainly... *ponder* HEY!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

1-22-02 8:31am (new)
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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

I get that every night. And speaking of hands...

1-22-02 9:05am (new)
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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

quote:
trust me, it's all a lot of bollocks, it's not what's on the inside that matters at all, I mean, sure, it's personality that counts towards making a relationship work, but it's also a sense of fear, fear of lonelyness, some people just want to make a relationship work so much that they completely change. I've just never been that flexible, I can't change who I am to "snag" a lady, I am who I am, and I'm an abbrasive smart-arse, which, last time I checked, isn't the most attractive of traits.

So I can either change who I am and become a smiling, sensitive moron, or I can just aim lower, to girls who are probably posting the same kind of nonsense on some other internet forum.


Anyone want my serious two euro cents? Well, you're going to get them anyway.

It's different strokes for different folks. Some people, for whatever reason, want to forge lasting relationships. Fear of loneliness may explain it for old codgers, but when someone in their twenties gets hitched, I can't believe it's just because they're afraid of dying alone. Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's to get a ready source of sex, or maybe they really do feel some strong emotional affinity with each other. Who knows?

My longest relationship lasted about a year, and it was only that long because I couldn't think of a tactful way to dump her. But a number of people, like DexX, seem to be very happy in their marriages or long-term relationships. No one can presume to say to them "Actually, you're mistaken. You're not happy at all". While my personal feelings on this are like Kajun's, and I'm a bit cynical about a custom which was originally devised just to verify paternity, I don't really think it's a matter that can rationally be argued.

Having said that, I think "Looks mean fuck all" is a slight exaggeration.

1-22-02 9:39am (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

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Well, my previous statments were a mix of jokes and serious points, thing is, they got kind of tangled up and confused (my fault).

Marriage is all well and good, but that's slightly over the horizon are far as I'm concerned, scoring with "fat chicks" just means that at least I'm not a confused mess at home, bitter at the world outside and mocked by television. I don't necessarily think that I'm better than them or anything, it was a crude generalisation. I'm not in any real position to forge lasting relationships with anyone right now, perhaps because I don't really want to, I can't say I'm 100% sure, all I know is I've been burned so much that I don't think I really have any feelings left anymore.

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Dad was flammable

1-22-02 10:21am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Why not? Okay, substitute "living" for "dying", but when you're in your twenties and everyone around you is, if not getting married, still running through successful relationships and building up that interpersonal experience that will one day see them through, and you've got fuck all, and you've already been through the best places for meeting people you'll ever be in, it may be incorrect, but it sure isn't irrational to take seriously the possibility that you might be the odd one out.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

1-22-02 10:34am (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Let's get back to settling who's a better fuck. I say it's the ample girl. Not necessarily obese, and she has to have the frame for it, and there has to be some muscle underneath. A girl like that won't get on a magazine cover, and the ad industry probably has made her feel like shit about herself in order to sell her some superfluous product, but she should take heart because she has the choice build for fucking.

These doe-eyed, sketetal waifs, on the other hand-- well, you might as well screw a teenaged boy. The glamor industry has made Twiggy the ideal precisely because very, very few women actually look that way. How they have managed to eroticize boyishness is a topic that deserves its own field of study, but I think it's a sexual catastrophe.

The superiority of an ample mistress has nothing to do with inhibitions or self-esteem or any of that crap. It's physics. I'm certainly not a monster stud machine (see pic), but I've been with skinny women, muscular women, fat women, and so on, and not found much correlation between body type and self-esteem or whatever. What I have found is the ideal body type for nasty fun: about yea tall, hips like this, shoulders to match, and a nice, big butt. It's like all-wheel drive, friends.

Anyone who doubts me should ask himself where sex came from and whether the anatomy of a twelve-year-old boy is suited to the purpose. As we consider the question, we might look at idealized images of womanhood that predate the contemporary fashion biz, from prehistory through about WWII. They don't much resemble Macauley Culkin.

I wish I deserved to fuck a strapping, buxom woman, and any time it happens, I'll thank whatever gods there be for this sublime gift, which seems to me the fulfillment of the purpose for which men and women were placed on Earth.

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What others say about boorite!

1-22-02 10:35am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

Well said, good boo!!!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

1-22-02 10:38am (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

Without a doubt, larger ladies are better in the sack, I wouldn't doubt that for a moment, not at all. I slept with a very hot blonde French girl who was amazing and would be perching on the top of my list if it wasn't for the fact that she answered her phone right in the middle of it and started talking to her friend, I stared at her in amazement as she looked at me confused and said "keep going!", it was quite peculiar and spoiled the moment for me.

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Dad was flammable

1-22-02 10:45am (new)
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pita
La fille qui a joué avec le feu

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I've been trying hard not to get involved in this thread, being fat myself, as well as (I think) a very good lover (if I remember correctly).

But this last post, Kajun, finally drew me in. Your attitude at first about fat women being so happy you even bothered with them that they wouldn't notice all you wanted anyway was a good skullfucking was preposterous. Unless you think all fat women are also stupid.

I'm so glad you shared this experience with us, 'coz
I can't help but think the French gal knew exactly what she was doing. : )

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

1-22-02 1:55pm (new)
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pita
La fille qui a joué avec le feu

Member Rated:

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, or if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
* Elayne Boosler

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

1-22-02 2:15pm (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

I'm trying not to sound nasty, I'm just saying that geeky losers like myself are never going to get the prom Queen and "fun" girls are never going to snag a Brad Pitt, so we may aswell face these facts and embrace each other.

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Dad was flammable

1-22-02 2:33pm (new)
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Jael
Resident Wench

Member Rated:

Amen Pita, Boo, and all. all you have to do is walk through a fine art museum. You don't see many works dedicated to skinny boyish girls. All the naked sexy chicks are fat.

Now granted historians can argue the reasons for this and that, but I caught a show on cable a few weeks ago, that really scared me (and I don't even have children). Two 12 and 13 year girls were talking about how they "satisfy" their middle school boyfriends by providing them with oral sex. Their reasoning was that because they were so uncomfortable with their bodies getting pudgy when puberty hit, it was easier to do something that involved the boy not looking at their bodies or touching them. They talked about how "gross" their bodies were, and that oral sex was perfectly viable alternative to give the boys because it required no emotion. The parent's weren't worried about the girls self images or the oral sex. They were only worried that the girls might be having "real sex" at that age.

Scary...really scary.

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

1-22-02 2:37pm (new)
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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

My guess is that, because the fashion industry is largely controlled by gay men, they like the models to look male. But because modelling is largely considered a job for women, they have to settle for the next best thing. *shrug*

1-22-02 2:48pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Jael, I am choosing not to believe you, not because I disagree. Quite the opposite. I just can't stand it.

The female body is ugly! Blowjobs for all!

ah! i am dieing!

My society cannot have come to this!

If you know what I mean.

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What others say about boorite!

1-22-02 2:54pm (new)
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kramer_vs_kramer
Stripcreator Newbie

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1-22-02 3:01pm (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

quote:
I caught a show on cable a few weeks ago, that really scared me (and I don't even have children). Two 12 and 13 year girls were talking about how they "satisfy" their middle school boyfriends by providing them with oral sex. Their reasoning was that because they were so uncomfortable with their bodies getting pudgy when puberty hit, it was easier to do something that involved the boy not looking at their bodies or touching them. They talked about how "gross" their bodies were, and that oral sex was perfectly viable alternative to give the boys because it required no emotion. The parent's weren't worried about the girls self images or the oral sex. They were only worried that the girls might be having "real sex" at that age.

See, the whole world is fucked up, you can either have your mind poisoned by television and magazines when you're young, or you can try and grow up with a healthy mind and have it poisoned when you're in your mid-20's anyway, it's all the same.


That's a damn good point, so....do gay geeks shack up with fat gay guys?

not that I care or anything...

*ahem*

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Dad was flammable

1-22-02 3:10pm (new)
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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

Tom_O_B seems to be our only openly gay reg, so assuming he's a geek as well, you could try asking him.

I just noticed I used "largely" twice in that paragraph. Very bad style.

1-22-02 3:16pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

But gay men LOVE pudgy chicks. We're "saucy".

Throughout high school and college, most of my best friends were gay men. I've even fooled around with a few gay men. They weren't pretending they weren't gay, and they weren't testing the waters to be straight... they were just enchanted by my big rack and my self-confident attitude and the fact that I'm a really damned good kisser.

In any event, I'm glad there are other people here who were as put off as I was by the whole fat-chicks-are-easy-because-they're-just-happy-for-the-attention crap. I've been hit on by jerks who thought like that, and I could smell their condescension from across a crowded smoky bar. The most fun thing to do with an asswad like that is to let him buy you a drink, and then go talk to someone else.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

1-22-02 3:34pm (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

Buy a drink....for someone else??

Can someone translate that into Scottish?

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Dad was flammable

1-22-02 3:43pm (new)
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pita
La fille qui a joué avec le feu

Member Rated:

LadyJ, I love the way you think. : )

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

1-22-02 4:23pm (new)
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wirthling
supercalifragilisticexpialadosucks

Member Rated:

quote:
Buy a drink....for someone else??

Can someone translate that into Scottish?


No, I don't think there is a translation for that in Scottish.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

1-22-02 4:28pm (new)
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pita
La fille qui a joué avec le feu

Member Rated:

quote:
It probably does work a little differently in Scotland, since we have the like the highest amount of teenage pregnancies in the world or something, they're all slags, but you know that the fat ones will let you do anything, as long as they think you like them for who they are......pfft.

Any bloated female with an attitude can stay a virgin, she'll learn eventually.


I have a favour to ask of you. Please don't let me *think* you like me for who I am unless you REALLY DO. Anything other than that is just plain cruel.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

1-22-02 4:31pm (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

I don't know if there is any correlation between female body-size and sexual prowess, but I _do_ know that chubby women are much nicer to hug and snuggle up to. I also know that I like breasts. Yes, I will shout it from the mountaintops for I know it to be true - I'm a breast-man. An important fact about breasts is that they are made mostly of fat. If a woman loses a lot of body fat, the breasts are one (two?) of the first things to go. By default, a skinny woman will have little breasts. This is now a hard rule, of course, and is greatly affected by genetics, diet, exercise, and many other things, but generally speaking, you only find large breasts on a skinny woman if some surgery has been involved.

All that said, emotional, social and sexual compatibility are still far more important in a good relationship than looks will ever be.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

1-22-02 7:55pm (new)
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