CC 137: part 1 by Drexle 8-15-02

Oh my... can it really be him?! Hey there tall dark and deadly. What brings ye ta this fair port! I just be in town to do a bit'a business an' a bit'a pleasurrre! Oooh, well... If ye don't mind, I'd love ta show ya' around town! Arrrr! Consider me timbers shivered by yer offer!

CC 137: part 2 by Drexle 8-15-02

Yo-ho-ho waiter, and a bottle of rum for tha wench!! I couldn't help but notice yer overwrought accent. Be ye a pirate? Aye, I be a pirate! One'a tha most feared on tha high seas!!! Tha Navy is powerless ta stop me. I plunder and pillage as I please!!! Ooooh, it sounds exciting! Would ye mind showin' me back ta yer room so ya can tell me all about it? Ah har har har!!! We'll see what we can do about that, wench! It's him, I'm SURE of it!

CC 137: part 3 by Drexle 8-15-02

Yo ho ho! She really wants a piece'a tha captain! I can feel it in me skull an' crossbones!!! So, tell me about yer last great adventure! Aaah, well we was in tha middle of a great storm... the first mate fell an' broke his poop deck! This Captain is legendary! I wonder if I can be tha first to stand up to tha test of his powers... An then tha second mate "accidentally" pillaged tha cabin boy's booty right on deck! It was hillarious!!! Oh, hah... yes. Mmm... let's walk faster.

CC 137: part 4 by Drexle 8-15-02

Aye, ya should'a heard him... squealin' like a pig! "Squeeeeeeee!!! Squeeeeeee!!!" Me parrot does it even better! Ye should hear it! FASTER!!!

CC 137: part 5 by Drexle 8-15-02

An' then they tol' me that if I wanted ta find the treasure, I'd have ta rip it outta where the sun don't shine... And I did!!! Don't know... how... long... I can... keep going... Patience...wearing...thin... *SLAM*

[Click to view comic: 'CC 137: part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 137: part 7']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 173: part 8']

CC137: The World According to Money by DexX 8-15-02

The music industry were happy, making lots of great music, until... We on the good ship RIAA are a happy bunch... ONLINE MUSIC PIRATES STRUCK! Ya-harrr! You been boarded by the crew o' the SS Napster, me hearties! Nooo!!! My wife and children! My livelihood! ...the evil software pirates ruined the music industry, and the world fell into darkness! Uh, dad... when I asked for a bedtime story, I didn't mean idiotic corporate propaganda.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Pirates vs. Scottish - Game 2 by ObiJo 8-15-02

We meet again! Poop.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Ass Pirate by Namgubed 8-16-02

Thank goodness Dr. McHooter's finally here! What seems to be the problem, Farmer Brown? Well, I gave my donkeys these here fertility drugs, but now they're reproducin' at the rate of ... 3.14, uh, offspring ... per ... aaah, fergit it. * CUT! Take 27! * Really, I can't work like this. Come on, just once more? I swear I'll get it right this time.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 137 CD-ARRRRR. by lara7 8-16-02

ARRR! I will swipe yer code for me own and burn it to CD-RRRRR! Stripcreator.com is reasonably secure. I'm not afraid of your lame Haxx0r threats. ARR!! Have you no idea who ye be speaking to? Actually, no. Who are you, again? I am RedHatBeard, King of the Software Pyrates! Oh my! We give up! Just stay away from my Open Source!

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

CC137: Pieces of silver by evil_d 8-16-02

So, Mr. Bluebeard. How's your first day as a dishwasher going? Avast, matey! Know ye that there lies a treasure trove of silver down in the galley, ripe for the plunderin'? I assume you're referring to our silverware. Would this have anything to do with the bulges in your pockets? 'Tis too much for one man to carry out alone! I'll return shortly with me maties! In that case, *I'll* return shortly with the police. AAAAAAAAARR!!! Me new treasure has a bit of a tooth, it seems. Be there a doctor aboad this ship?

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC137: Yet another furry convention... by DexX 8-16-02

I, Red beard have assembled the evillest, nastiest crew o' pirates ever to sail the seven seas! Sound off, men! SIlverbeard! Brownbeard! Whitebeard! Blackbeard! Trying-really-hard-to-grow-a-beard!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (1) by Shadow_Artist 8-16-02

Our story starts with ship. A ship filled with international aid for the less fortunate... Soon Mr Glum! Soon are cargo of fluffy teddy bears will be with the orphans who need them most… Pirates! Arrrrr! ‘And over tha teddy bears or’ll bugger ya with a dinosaur bone! Father Christmas! You’re a pirate? Wha, ya actually thought I made all the kiddies presents maself? ArrrHAHAHAHA! Ulp!

CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (2) by Shadow_Artist 8-16-02

Please Santa, don’t be so cruel! The orphans need these toy bears. They have nothing else in the world besides liver failure and malnutrition! Arrr! Ya be a kindly gent, so a’ll not be a buggerin’ ya wi’no dino-bone! My tight virgin butt thanks you, Captain Claus! But I really wish you… ‘Old on tha matey! Did ya say ya butt were a’virgin in tha ways of booty sex? Errr, yes… Then I withdraw ma offer! Thank goodness I always check ma list twice! Arrrahahaha!

CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (3) by Shadow_Artist 8-16-02

Is there nothing I can do to persuade you against anally raping me? Tha devil ‘imself couldn’t stop me plunderin’ behinds! But first, where’s ya cargo? In the hold below deck, marked ‘Teddy Bear Cargo – For Grubby Orphan Hands Only’ Arrr! Brilliant! I’ll be a’fetchin’ it now. I’ll leave ya with me first mate – Master Bate. Hello. *Drool*

CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (4) by Shadow_Artist 8-16-02

So…Master Bate…you enjoy being a pirate? *Drool* I see…well, surely you don’t approve of Santa raping me, do you? *Drool* *Drool* I’ll take the increase in excess saliva to be a yes, shall I? *Drool*

CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (5) by Shadow_Artist 8-16-02

Arrr! Master Bate! Take tha teddies I’ve plundered back to tha ship! *Drool* Master Bate takes the cargo aboard Captain Claus' ship; 'The Christmas Queer'. Arrr! Tha Captain has plundered some teddy bears! On closer inspection... Arrr…he really HAS plundered these teddy bears… *Drool* *Drool*

[Click to view comic: 'CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (6)']
[Click to view comic: 'CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (7)']
[Click to view comic: 'CC137: Captain Claus - Scourge of the Seven Seas (8)']
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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

Since I can't fellate myself, I'll just join my own contest.

It's mutiny by boorite 8-16-02

Welcome to Long John Silver's. Order please? Avast, ye swabs! I be cravin' a bountiful harvest from the bosom o' Mother Ocean. Sorry. We don't have that. OK, a flatbread basket combo with hush puppies and a Mountain Dew. $6.42. Drive up, please. Full sail! Yaaaarrr!

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What others say about boorite!

CC137: Based on a typo by boorite... by DexX 8-16-02

Who are you? Aharrr! I be Long John Solver! Uh... Are you sure...? O' course I be sure! Ev'ry long division problem on the high seas fears me!

That typo was funnier when we first joked about it. Oh well.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

... by ObiJo 8-16-02

Give us an ARRRRRR! Give us an ARRRRRR! Give us an ARRRRRR! What's that spell! RuhRuhRuh? I hate these fucking cheerleaders.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Death on the High Seas by boorite 8-16-02

Welcome to Radio Shack. You've got questions-- we've got answers! Silence, ye dog! I'll be needin' a broadband tunable collinear vertical antenna, yarr, one capable o' handlin' 200 watts. Is that all, sir? Nar, ye skeevy bilge barrel! A Crystal Controlled Stereo Encoder and a 13.8 volt DC power supply, arr, or I'll run ye through. You're not into pirate radio, are you? No. Why do you ask?

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What others say about boorite!

I said pirates are comedy gold.

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What others say about boorite!

CC 137: Because he's HARD like that. by mutsje2000 8-16-02

So, like, you're a pirate. Aye. And a demon. Aye. So, when you're swashing your buckle... what do you use as lubricant? Napalm.

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

Book Report by kaufman 8-16-02

This is a story about a boy named Penfold, who has a normal uneventful childhood until his sixth birthday, when his father's sister disappears, never to be found. Then on his first day of third grade, his mother's brother's wife vanishes without a trace. Again, the trail is cold. At the big family reunion at his grandparent's 50th anniversary, Penfold notices that all of .... You haven't even opened "The Pirates of Penzance," have you!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

That was so subtle it actually hurt.

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

Believe it or not, this was probably the first time I caught onto one of Kaufman's horrible puns before the first panel was even over. I'm afraid I have to count off major points on subtlety for this lack of proper form.

In that case, it was probably just me being slow.

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

Buzzer Beater by ObiJo 8-16-02

Hey, man. You know where I can find a pirate? What fer? I need one in this strip to be compliant to the man. Pirate, eh? Hmmmmm... QUICK! TIME'S RUNNING OUT! I'm Willie Stargell. And that's the way it was.

Willie goes on a rampage! by ObiJo 8-16-02

So I said, "Well them rotor ... Hey, who the hell are you? HaHa! Wait, what? I HAVE NEVER TRULY KNOWN PAIN! Medic! I'm Willie Stargell. You have cheek stuck in your teeth.

... by ObiJo 8-17-02

So I said "Well them raygun tractors aint gonna shoot themselves." You've completely hosed the line. Point taken.

That's a Wrap by ObiJo 8-17-02

So I says "Them rayon tankers aint gonna wash themselves!" HaHa! What the fuck are you talking about?

CAN HE EVER BE STOPPED!!! by ObiJo 8-17-02

All your base are belong to..HEY! Who you? What you say !! BLUNTING OF TRAMATIC HEAD! Move Medic! For cold compress! I'm Willie Stargell. Pleasure.

[Click to view comic: '...']
[Click to view comic: 'That's a wrap!']
[Click to view comic: 'If he was immortal, he'd be the perfect killing machine.']
[Click to view comic: '...']
[Click to view comic: 'Willie Stargell and the Search for East']
[Click to view comic: 'You're on your own, cat.']

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Raiders Throughout the Ages by israphael 8-17-02

The Huns of Eastern Europe Grab all food and furs you can carry. Burn what you can't. And bring along all the young women. The Pirates of the Carribean Step lively, me lads. Get the King's gold aboard. Put a torch to the sails. And seize all the pretty wenches. The CEOs of Present Day America Sell all the assets. Empty the pension fund. And fire all the employees... except the secretaries with really big tits!