The Puppetmaster - 31 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

How goes th' battle, Hernandez? Not so good, Mr. President! The Rhode Islanders have received reinforcements and supplies from Connecticut and Massachusetts. Dang! Tell General Ashcroft t' attack th' Connecticut troops eastern flank! Pronto! Yes, sir! On my way, sir! And don't shoot until y' see th' whites of their BMW badges!

The Puppetmaster - 32 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

Sir! The troops from Connecticut are withdrawing! Good job, Hernandez! It wasn't me, sir. They're leaving on their own! Perhaps they were intimidated by our military superiority! No, Sir. They had a wine tasting at 2:00 that they just couldn't miss. Ah!

The Puppetmaster - 33 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

Have heard the latest, Dick? What's he done now, Senator Clinton? Your President Bush has invaded Rhode Island! But it's already part of the country! Where did he get an idea like that? Earlier... So all you have to do is invade an island, and your popularity goes through the roof! Well, if it worked for ya in th' Falklands...

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Puppetmaster - 34 by fuzzyman 9-08-02

Howdy, Dick! George! Stop attacking Rhode Island! This is madness! No can do, Dick. This great military victory will distract folks from the economy, and I rid myself of a bunch a' pesky liberals! Liberal or not, they are still Americans! You're startin' t' sound like one 'a them liberals yourself, Dick. Pat Robertson warned me about people like you. Pat Robertson? Shit! Shit! Shit!

The Puppetmaster - 35 by fuzzyman 9-08-02

George! You can't be serious. Me? A liberal? I'm more conservative than Alan Keyes. I dunno. You could be one 'a them whatchacallits. A mole? Why would I have engineered your election if I were a liberal? THINK! Dang, this is so confusing! Pat Robertson told me not t' trust anything you liberals say! Later... Welcome to the Ronald Reagan Home for the Criminally Liberal. I'm Bobo, your counselor. I SAID, I'M NOT LIBERAL!!!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

*Flings my panties at Fuzzyman!*

It should say never trust anything Pat Robertson says.

BRILLIANT STUFF. Possibly your best strip so far, and that is about the highest praise I can give.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

There's only so many times I can tell you that you rock, I'll only say it one more time, when this series is finished.

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Dad was flammable

Thanks, I'm really having fun with this. Especially considering that I had absolutely no plot in mind when I started.

Who knows how long it will go?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Ten inches, under the right circumstances.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

I'm guessing you still haven't made it over that particular hurdle?

(Just kidding... this is a faboo series. Lovin' ev'ry panel of it.)

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This is not my empire.

Actually, you'd be correct. Though, of course, the underlying symbolism is all about Man's inhumantity to Man, and the plight of child protstitutes in Thailand.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Puppetmaster - 36 by fuzzyman 9-10-02

I DEMAND-- *ahem* I demand to see the President! Pat Robertson has ordered that you not be allowed to contactthe President until you've been rehabilitated. Well then, let me speak to Pat Robertson! That's not possible. He's in an Undisclosed Location. He's in a-- but... HEY! I'm secretly running the country! I'm the one who's supposed to be in an Undisclosed Location! Perhaps you should rethink that "secretly running the country" assumption.

The Puppetmaster - 37 by fuzzyman 9-10-02

Fine. What do I have to do to get out of here? Ah, that's the proper attitude! Okay, first. Get down on your knees... Okay, down on my knees... Now say, "Bobo, I worship your throbbing manhood." Bobo, I worship your throbbing--HEY! I'm not going to say that! Congratulations! You passed the first test!

The Puppetmaster - 38 by fuzzyman 9-10-02

Meanwhile... Well, Pat! I've conquered Rhode Island, just like y' said ta! Yesssss! Everything is going according to my... err... according to the Lord's plan! Only one question for ya'. What with th' red skin? Skin? Oh, its just a... sunburn! From my vacation in... the Bahamas! Ah, that 'splains it! But... what about them huge, leathery wings? Oh, am I peeling?

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Sorry for the long delay in more installments. We had relatives visiting for the weekend.

The Puppetmaster - 39 by fuzzyman 9-16-02

Okay, first question: The economy is in sluggish, budget deficits are rising, and the rate of illiteracy is rising. What do you do? Blame the Democrats and lower capital gains taxes! Correct! You've uncovered a terrorist plot to blow up Mount Rushmore. What do you do? Blame the Democrats and lower capital gains taxes! Correct! Okay, here's a tough one: You just found out that each of the Olsen Twins is pregnant with your love child. What do you do? Blame the Democrats and lower capital gains taxes!

The Puppetmaster - 40 by fuzzyman 9-16-02

This quiz won't take much longer. Okay, what are the Three Pillars of Compassionate Conservatism? Deception, Deceit, and Dishonesty.... Hey! Look behind you! It's Osama Bin Laden and Hitler! What? Where? Dick, old boy, you still have the touch!

The Puppetmaster - 41 by fuzzyman 9-16-02

Mr. President, we need to talk! Dick! They let you outta th' funny farm already? George, you've got to listen to me! Pat Robertson is only using you for his own agenda! Please 'splain t' me how that's diff'rent from you. It's different because... HEY! Stop thinking, George! Sorry.

The Puppetmaster - 42 by fuzzyman 9-16-02

Dick, amd Ah gonna have t' ask Pat Robertson t' disembowel you? George, if you won't listen to me, then I'll find someone you WILL listen to. You just stay right there. Mom? Don't you act all innoncent with me, you stupid git!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I genuflect in your general direction oh god of StripCreator.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

The Puppetmaster - 43 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

Now listen to me, you little whipper-snapper! You just do what your Uncle Dick tells you to do! Awww, Mom! *sigh* Remember what I used to say to you when you were a child? No... what? "Stop being stupid, George." You said that to me? I thought you were talking to Dad!

The Puppetmaster - 44 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

Well, it looks like we're together again, Dick! Jes' like Batman an' Robin. Yep! I'm Batman. No, I'm Batman.

The Puppetmaster - 45 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

Bush an' Cheney, together again! Jes' like Bonnie an' Clyde! Yep! Jes' like Rodgers an' Hammerstein! Yep! Jes' like Sigfreid and Roy! Whoah there, bucko!

The Puppetmaster - 46 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

What a team we are! Jes' like Donny an' Marie! Yep! *yawn* ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz I'm Marie. ZZZZZzzzzzzzz

The Puppetmaster - 47 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

Y'know, Dick.... I'm havin' a crisis of confidence. What's the problem, George? Well, when y' lay there sleepin', it was all I could do t' stop from caressin' your pretty, bald head. Is that strange, or what?

[Click to view comic: 'The Puppetmaster - 48']
[Click to view comic: 'The Puppetmaster - 49']
[Click to view comic: 'The Puppetmaster - 50']

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Tee-hee.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

The Puppetmaster - 51 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

...and in the news, Vice President Cheney had his eleventh coronary today. "I'm going for a dozen!" he said, digging into a second slice of pie. Omigod, Ashley! My true love needs needs me now! Your true love? You haven't even met him. Mary-Kate! You're just jealous. Now help me decide what to wear. What do you think...? Something a bit sexy? Or something more girl-next-door? It depends. Are you the slightly slutty one or am I? Damned if I can remember.

The Puppetmaster - 52 by fuzzyman 9-19-02

Mary-Kate, you're never going to get past all those Secret Service agents and into the hospital to see Dick Cheney! What I need, Ashley, is a brilliant disguise! I'll be right back! Oh, the Secret Service will never notice THAT. Shut up and get in the back half.

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Puppetmaster - 53 by fuzzyman 9-21-02

This reminds me of that time we put on a horse costume to get on the set of Dad's TV show! That was an episode of "Full House." That wasn't our Dad, that was actor-comedian Bob Saget. Wait... Bob Saget isn't my father? Sorry, but no. Well that's a relief. But John Stamos is still my uncle, right? Ummm....

The Puppetmaster - 54 by fuzzyman 9-21-02

Okay, where's the back half of this pink donkey costume, Mary-Kate? Right here. I feel really stupid doing this. It's for a good cause, Ashley! I think there's a problem with this costume. What? Pink isn't your color?

The Puppetmaster - 55 by fuzzyman 9-21-02

Well, Mr. Cheney, you're *pfffft* free to go home. Now just remember: Exercise daily, no excitement, and try to lay off the pie. Thank you, Doctor Phlatulent! Hello, Dick Cheney, my true love! How I have pined for thy pretty bald head! AAACK!!!! Mr. Vice President? Dick? Snugglebunny? Are you okay? YES! Coronary number twelve! A new record!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Puppetmaster - 56 by fuzzyman 9-21-02

Mr. Cheney.. I'm Mary-Kate Olsen and... I love you! Mary-Kate Olsen is a strange name for half of a pink donkey. I'm not a donkey! That was my brilliant disguise! *THUNK!* Doesn't take much, does it? Looks like thirteen is my lucky number!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Corrected version of Episode 57...

The Puppetmaster - 57 by fuzzyman 9-22-02

,,,and when I woke up, she was gone, donkey costume and all. Maybe she was afraid that y' were too fragile, what with yer heart and all. No... she probably felt inadequate when she met me in person. Yeah, that's got t' be it! Meanwhile... ...and when I took off the donkey costume, the glare from light reflecting off Cheney's head nearly blinded me! Don't say I didn't tell you so!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Only a select few will get #58, I'm sure.

The Puppetmaster - 58 by fuzzyman 9-23-02

I'm bored, Dick. Patience, my young apprentice. You will soon know the power of the Dark Side. Darkseid? Exactly. So when do we go to Apokolips? Apocalypse?

The Puppetmaster - 59 by fuzzyman 9-23-02

I'm stil bored, Dick. Look, George... go check your e-mail or something. Dear George, I hope you find bleeding roaches in your falafel! Sincerely, Saddam *yawn* Dear Mr. Bush, I am Henry Kabila of Nigeria. I require your assistance in transferring the sum of Thirty Million Dollars... Hey, this looks promisin'!

To be continued...!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Nigerian scam might be paying off for you in more ways than one!

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

It always shits me when I put lots of work into a series and get no replies, so I feel compelled to repeat myself and reiterate just how great this series is. Cracks me up consistently.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Yay! A Superman reference!

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This is not my empire.

The Puppetmaster - 60 by fuzzyman 9-26-02

So if we help that Nigerian fellow transfer them funds, we get t' keep a few million for ourselves! Really! That sounds enticing! Yep! An' Ah got five more offers jes' like it in m' e-mail! All of which will net us tens of millions of dollars! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? With that kind of money we can bomb Iraq AND Rhode Island! I was thinking that we could spend it on women and booze, but you have a point.

The Puppetmaster - 61 by fuzzyman 9-26-02

Later that evening... Well, we've done run into a snag with that Nigerian thing! What's the problem? Well, my Nigerian friend needs to bribe some government officials... He needs me to send him ten thousand dollars. Damn! Where are we going to get thta kind of money? Hey, America, ol' buddy! Can I borrow a teensy bit of money from the Social Security Trust Fund? No.

The Puppetmaster - 62 by fuzzyman 9-26-02

Dear Henry... I hope this e-mail finds you well. I am doing my best to raise the money you need. I have been forced to find alternate sources of funding, but my staff is working diligently on your behalf. I hope you don't mind if I send the money in five dollar increments.

The Puppetmaster - 63 by fuzzyman 9-26-02

Okay, repeat after me: "Doesn't." "Dudn't." No, no, no! "Doesn't!" "Nope, nope, nope! Dudn't!" *sigh* Are you as stupid as you sound? I dudn't know!