CC 12x12: Not a Coincidence by not_Scyess 10-01-02

TOBOR TIRED OF CORNHOLING. NEED VACATION. How about my ass? ...I swear, I was just innocently changing the subject and I got a very rude definition of the verb "to cornhole." ...and I suppose it was just a coincidence that you happened to be wearing pants that tear easily in the rear?

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Wow, look at me, I've made a series...

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 1 by the_rew 10-01-02

I've won a holiday! Wait wait wait, read the small print, I've been scammed by these guys before Hmmm, everything seems in order. Holiday for one to the Bahamas Yeah right. The "Bahamas" all right. By that they mean "death camp in Thingymaslavia" or whatever. Fuckin' bastards. Always trying to cheat you! Actually, for a small a fee, I can upgrade to a 2 person flight. Take me with you!

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 2 by the_rew 10-01-02

Our heroes set off on their journey... Well, here we are on the plane... I know Maybe we should...y'know like...sit down or something.... Maybe You want to make a comment about the roof being missing? Hell no.

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 3 by the_rew 10-01-02

Hello sir, would you like anything to eat or drink? Yeah, I'll have a glass of "You're an Owl, how the fuck did you get a job as a steward?" Maybe a packet of peanuts if you can pull your hands apart for more than five seconds That's a no then? Twit Twoo!

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 4 by the_rew 10-01-02

Y'know, this plane has a lot of history. Really? Yeah, Rew used it in his first ever strip Cool. Was it crashing back then as well? The plane's crashing?! Yup. Probably due to it having no roof or something...

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 5 by the_rew 10-01-02

Fuck. Fuck. We're gonna die. Fuck. Not to worry, we'll survive the crash. How can you be so sure of that? Because Jesus is watching over us! He'll protect us from death! Then why did he let the plane crash in the first place? Trust me... he will save us....

[Click to view comic: 'The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 6']

More to follow...

---
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

CC: 144: This is my vacation. by attitudechicka 10-01-02

I think I need a vacation... Boyfriend's number blocked. Now I can finally relax.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

The second half of the epic story. And I now have over 100 comics.

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 7 by the_rew 10-01-02

Day 4 : After a horrific plane crash in which I was the only survivor, I find myself stranded in the wilderness. I have no food, shelter or companionship, and I am most likely hundreds of miles from civilisation Who the hell is that guy in our back garden?

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 8 by the_rew 10-01-02

What the...how did I get here? Relax! You're in hospital. We found you wandering through the streets of Bristol, wearing nothing but a discarded tea bag How long have I been unconscious for Doctor? 2 days. Although most of the time you were in a strange state where you were semi-awake. You didn't quite know what you were doing. It made you very...submissive Why does it hurt to sit down? Don't look at me! If you're going to sue anyone for this pain, I'd suggest nurse Tobor.

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 9 by the_rew 10-01-02

After leaving the hospital, our remaining hero seeks professional help... So do you think you're up to it? Let me get this straight. You want me to contact your dead friend right? Easy! Good. Can you do all the weird shit you see in films? Like spinning your head_360_degrees...or projectile vomitting... or glowing eyes? Well I do have one supernatural ability other than being able to speak to the dead... Arrrrgh! Oh God! Help!!! Wooooo!

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 10 by the_rew 10-01-02

That scared the life out of me! Don't ever do that again! Understand? Yeah

The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 11 by the_rew 10-01-02

Now before I begin to contact the deceased, I need to know what you want to say to him Basically, make sure you tell him that I'm sorry his holiday didn't work out better... Any thing else? Erm...oh yeah... tell him that there was this one time I crept into his room while he was sleeping and force fed him a sheep's bladder Ah! And remind him he still owes me a fiver!

[Click to view comic: 'The Stick Man and the Cynic : Part 12...The conclusion']

Thank you, and goodnight

---
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

Why Jesus and Maura went Digital by kaufman 10-01-02

Oh look, honey, it's the White House. Will you take my picture standing in front of the fence? Sure thing, sweetie. Click! 2 weeks later ... Jesus Christ! You fucked up this picture too. I'm not even in it! It's not my fault. Have you ever tried aiming a camera with both arms nailed to a cross?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 144: Profile of a Computer Scientist by Scyess 10-01-02

Dammit, if you don't get away from that computer and go outside for once, I'm going to... All right, all right... I'll go... uuhhh... I thought you were going outside. I went. But I couldn't figure out how to level up, so I came back.

---
"Old" is the old new.

It Feels Good to Take the Time by Spankling 10-01-02

*sigh* I wonder how many more of those we'll all see.

Not so much an entry as a salute. Life is this thing we do even now.

But it is probably as funny as anything else I've done.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

DexX, Just a little going away male bonding humor. I am really going to miss you. I hope all is well.

---
"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Stroke... of... genius...

Stroke... of... genius...

Fred the Fish's Unhappy Vacation to the South Pacific by kaufman 10-01-02

I *hate* El Ninos.

And it's not even a "dry heat."

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

What? You thought they grew on trees? by kaufman 10-01-02

Five o'clock can't be far... *TWEEEEETTTT!!* YES!!! See you Monday, man. No you won't. I've got vacation time coming. Two full weeks away from the narration box mines.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Satan Place 1: The Call by kaufman 10-02-02

This is terrible. Things are so bad, I can't afford a vacation this year. RING, RING! Hello? Hello, we are offering you a one-week all-expenses paid one-week trip to hell for only $59. Would you like to go? Sure!

Satan Place 2: The Flight by kaufman 10-02-02

Things to pack: brimstone repellant, Sin-Away, toilet paper, extra film, Lego, clean underwear, ... At the airport: I'm looking for the flight to Hell. Gate 666, right this way. Please be seated. The entertainment portion of this flight is beginning. Needless to say, this is an Aeroflot flight.

Satan Place 3: A Warm Reception by kaufman 10-02-02

Welcome to hell. My name is Steve, I'll be your tour guide this week. We've got a fun-filled trip lined up for you, culminating in your meeting Satan himself. So do you have any questions? Just one so far. Isn't it a bit warm? It must be 2000 degrees here, but the forcast said the temperature would be in the middle-80s. No, no, no. You heard them wrong. They said the "middle-Hades." You should see it when we have a heat wave.

Satan Place 4: Ask Not For Whome the Bell Crowes by kaufman 10-02-02

And over here's Death, our collector of souls. Death will now tell us a little about his job. Sorry, but no time. I've got to run. Oh yeah, I forgot. Forgot what? "Proof of Life" is showing on the cable in five minutes.

Satan Place 5: Crime and Punishment by kaufman 10-02-02

When an eel hits your eye and you feel like you'll die, that's a moray. Nun of your bismuth. And those were the fire pits where the world's tyrants are damned. Over here in the ice fields are the incorrigible punsters. Be very careful what you say around here. I have a question. I saw Stalin and Genghis Khan in the fire pits, but not Hitler. Shouldn't he be there too? Oh, Hitler's not dead yet. He's alive and well and living in Argentina. Ah, so hell hath no Fuhrer? ... OWWWWWW!

[Click to view comic: 'Satan Place 6: Eternal Damnation']

Author's notes:

[list=1][*]In the original version of Part 2, the stewardess said in internet-translated Russian, "Today's flight's film is "Froof of Life." Unfortunately, the strip creation software (and this forum software) couldn't handle the Russian character set, turning it into gibberish instead of Cyrillic, so you had to settle for what you got.

[*]Regarding Part 3, I didn't want to be so Fahrenheit-centric, but the joke really does lose something in the translation otherwise.[/list=1]

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Uh, "Proof." "Froof" would have been too silly, even for me.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Haha, all of mine translated. :-P :)

---
Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

Another Entry..

CC 144: I'm Sorry...I Had to Enter This by punkrockskaboy 10-02-02

I think I need a vacation. Oh? *Sticks foot out* Ow! Have a nice trip? Fuck you.

---
Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

*lol* It's so simple it's brilliant!

I try

---
Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

...to be simple?

---
I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Two entries:

CC 144: A vacation from stripcreator by Devin 10-02-02

Where are your homework assignments? If you don't come to work this instant, you needn't come in tomorrow or the day after! If you don't get off your ass right now, I'm leaving you forever! Hi, I'm here to repossess your car, your house, and your first-born... ...And so I'll be taking a vacation from stripcreator for a while...

CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (1) by Devin 10-02-02

I Am taking a vacation in SAn FRansisco. WHo Are YOu? I am Lebanese rapist. COme here little girl I HAving a surprise for you UNder saddle. BUt I am A boy. THat okay. Dildos are neither homosexual or HEterosexual. THey are just ALL FUN.

CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (2) by Devin 10-02-02

BeNN_MaKK is taken to a HOuse full of LEbanese nationals WHat will YOu do with me? We ARe a gang of gay Lebanese rapists who tie people to chairs and race them to the wall. HA Ha I win AGain! Oh WOW, you're so FAST, beating a guy tied to a FREAKIN' CHAIR! Why WOuld you be DOing that? BEcause it is probably funny in some circles you apparently don't reside in.

CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (3) by Devin 10-03-02

I no WAnt chair game! THen I TOuch you. SOB why why did you touch me like that...SOB..WHy..oh why.. (TOUCHING!) SNIFF oh god WHY? SHut UP before I SPlit open your rectum with this dildo. (TOUCHING!)

CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (4) by Devin 10-03-02

NOw I am BEing the raped by LEbanese rapist. (RAPING!!!) WAit, you not raping, you JUst whispering RAPING!!! NO I'm NOt I'm RAPING!!! (RAPING!!!) Oh My MIstake then, my bottom will always be the sleeping bag to your tired mountain camper. (RAPING!!!)

[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (5)']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (6)']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: BeNN_MaKK's vacation (7)']