Really, I find your hypothetical situation very outlandish. After all, who in their right mind, would be a member of an online community for well over a year, contribute on a regular basis to conversations, compete in the contests, occasionally write a comic, and meeting other members in person.
C'mon, get real!
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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."