Bizarrely, I was once in a club that played "Fairytale of New York" in July.

we should have discussions like SA's Comedy goldmines and just leave the topic at "The best and worst of christmas" and let people write what they feel. I liked reading lara7's christmas story than wondering what in the world the firestone albums were.

On my own sob story(though deffinatly not as severe as lara's), a few christmas ago we(my family) decided to go to Florida to spend the holidays instead of traditionaly staying at home with alot of people(grandparents, relatives, etc) because most of them were busy anyway. My father hates all holidays because he says something to the effect of "there's nothing worse than sitting around with people who mumble and drool and can't comunicate blah blah blah"... beats me, I love it. Anyway, we go to Universal Studios christmas eve, and Seaworld Christmas. Why is this so bad? We had another monster fight right smack christmas eve and it ruined the whole night and next day for me. See, our fights aren't just between my rebeliousness and his better judgement. Hardly. It's more like "Dad's-in-a-bad-mood-and-you-remotely-piss-him-off-and-you're-dead" kinda thing. Plus half of the trip was just streneous. I think the high point was the plane ride, my dad hates those. He was talking with some 18 year old who was just as scared as he was about how much they hated flying(it was the other guy's first trip).

Anyway, I never want to go away for christmas again.

Actualy, I don't know whether that was worse or not. It certianly felt like a load of coal.

YES! HELL YES!

Though in England, for the Christmas No.1, it went to the *retch* Pet Shop Boys instead.

---
Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

I forgot to mention Santa's Smoking Reefers by the Squirrel Nut Zippers, Walking in Women's Underwear, and The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen by two groups I don't know!

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

I had bad hummmmmm when I did it the first time and didn't notice until I finished. I gotta do it again some day.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Earth the turntable. Very important. Like, to the cold water pipe or your computer case, maybe. Use very good cables and keep then away from the CRT. Also, see if you can get an editor that will simulate the RIAA curve used for vinyl recordings. If it has a a pop and click elimination algorithm, this is also good. Look into Cool Edit.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

The only thing I did right was cool edit.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Best:
Those Rankin and Bass Claymation Christmas cartoons
Freeze/Heat Miser to be precise.

A Christmas Story: "Show us how the piggies eat Randy"

Some Columbia House/or Time Life Christmas Treasury conglomeration (10 Albums) I still have the albums, but they are way worse for wear. I managed to find a few of the original cuts on Kazaa.

Bob River's Twisted Christmas - The Ultimate
I am Santa Clause, The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen, The Chimney Song, and Dressing Up Like Santa When I Get out on Parole.

Worst:
Peanuts anything
Waltons Christmas Reunion crap
Fruitcake

Being 8 years old and having your sperm donor tell you that Santa wasn't coming to our house, because he passed over us as we were driving back from a friend's party, and I wasn't in bed. Waking up to find to huge bootprints leading to the tree, then returning to the fireplace. The stocking gone, no presents under the tree, and just a small charcoal briquet. My first clue something was wrong with Santa should have been when I was told to leave a scotch on the rocks and a cigarette out for him instead of cookies and milk.

Fast forward 6 years later, Christmas Eve..Sperm donor got drunk, caused a family disturbance, puked on the presents and passed out.

Santa couldn't have brought me a gift that made me happier than my Mom announcing at Christmas Dinner they were getting a divorce.

Its weird but as an adult, I still retain that same childlike awe of Christmas sans the religious aspect. And I still tear through the house on Christmas morning and check my stocking and under the tree. They are more magical now as an adult than when I was little...it always makes me wonder.

P.S. Lara, Israpheal btdt...many hugs in return.

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

16 goofy xmas mp3s. 51,299 KB zipped.

Twelve Days of Christmas
The Twelve Gifts of Christmas
The Chipmunk Song
Santa Claus And His Old Lady
Nuttin' for Christmas
Jingle Bells
I'm a Christmas Tree
I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
Green Christmas
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
Christmas Dragnet
Christmas At Ground Zero
All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
A Christmas Carol

If anyone wants any single one of these let me know how to reduce the size without fucking them up for you. The smallest is over a meg.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

The worst christmas movie is that new made for tv muppets christmas movie.
NBC took a big shit on it.

In English, this means "screw or clamp the little fork-shaped thingie onto something metal that's grounded."

Even more important is to use a preamp (can be on a receiver or whatever) that has phono inputs. Phono outs won't match the level or impedance that a "line" input is expecting. So don't just run phono outs into your soundcard's line in, or it'll sound totally crap.

Get a receiver with phono ins or maybe one of those little preamps from Radio Shite. They should also have a little screw thingie for the spade plug so you can ground the turntable. Then take the tape out from the receiver or preamp into the line in on your soundcard.

---
What others say about boorite!

This will do it, and it's only $25 from Radio Shite.

---
What others say about boorite!

In English, this means "screw or clamp the little fork-shaped thingie onto something metal that's grounded."

---

I thought it had some deeper, philosophoical meaning.

In English, this means "screw or clamp the little fork-shaped thingie onto something metal that's grounded."

---

I thought it had some deeper, philosophoical meaning.

---

I envisioned someone dumping a shovelful of dirt on the turntable.

---
What others say about boorite!

Huh. My turntable must be grounded, because I'm not getting any hum...speaking of records into MP3s, I've gotten a hold of two bizarre Christmas albums. Anybody ever have Power Records as a kid? They were comic books done as radio plays and slapped on vinyl. I got Chistmas With The Super-Heroes (featuring the gayest-sounding Batman you've ever heard) and The Six Million Dollar Man's Christmas Adventures (where Santa's elves hire a terrorist as a strike enforcer six days before Christmas). Twisted.

Actually, I think the danger with not grounding a turntable is static discharge. Izzinit?

---
What others say about boorite!

I forgot the Star Wars Christmas Special. It was awful in a special way. Even smoking primo hash could make this turkey palatable.

Fave: "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" sung by Jane Krakowski. Cute and sexy all at once. Bad news: its on the Ally McBeal Christmas Album.

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Small world. I didn't know about them either (coming from a family that didn't celebrate Christmas certainly helped on that count). I read it as "Firesign". But two nights ago in Phoenix, I ate dinner at a place where the menus came enclosed in old record covers. Mine was in a Firestone Christmas sleeve! Fnord.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

In English, this means "screw or clamp the little fork-shaped thingie onto something metal that's grounded."

---

I thought it had some deeper, philosophoical meaning.

---

I envisioned someone dumping a shovelful of dirt on the turntable.

---

Oops.

By the way. downloading the pic you showed here didn't help either Boo.

Okay, I knew a bit about grounding before, But I think the old tube amp I had at the time had issues.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

White Trash Xmas

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet