CC 161: Buildup! by boorite 12-20-02

Let's see. Rules... rules, rules rules... make a comic... ...make a comic... that is... make a comic that is... Rawk! Disco sucks! ....anticlimactic!

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What others say about boorite!

Hatfield vs. McCoy by kaufman 12-20-02

Disco sucks. Hey, yer right! See ya later, buddy. See ya!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Yes, this is Rule 2-compliant!

CC 161: Raiders of the Lost Lunch by kaufman 12-20-02

Aha! Found it at last! Here's the map with the coded message telling the secret location of King Aoxomoxoa's lost treasures. Spell it out, and I'll run it through my cryptometer. Ok, here goes. The letters are B-G-R-Puke... Puke? What alphabet is that from? None. He threw up on the map, and the rest is unreadable. Oh well, let's go home. Ok.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Never give disco to a melodramatic duck by ObiJo 12-20-02

Rip my belly open, Phillip. Rip it open and smoosh your fingers in the folds and bends of my viscera. Knead my colon and hear my uncontrolable gas, squeeze my kidney and fill my blood with its acid. Then spoon me out into stoneware, each spoon-flicked shoveling hitting the bowl's side with a wet thwacking sound. Spoon me out completely, Phillip. spoon me out and drape my empty shell around you. Standing there, adorned in my rotting, empty shell, flies gathering, smell burning your eyes and nose, taste sticking to the roof of your mouth, then MAYBE you can catch a small glimmer of how I feel.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I should get props for revolving it around the Disco reference.

CC 161:You Want it, You Got it by punkrockskaboy 12-20-02

See now, what you expect right now, is some extremely funny comic that includes the fact that disco sucks. Well, disco DOES suck, however, this will not be funny because it is anti-climatic. There will be no climax to this comic, not a one... OOOhhh...OH YESS, YESSSS....OOOOOHHHH GOD YESSSS!!! I stand corrected.

My best entry in this competition yet.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

My first entries ever.

Disco Sucks! by papabearyg 12-21-02

Ah, the exuberance of youth. I'm going to a disco tonight! Yes, yes, I'm listening. Ah, the exuberance of hormones. Maybe I'll get laid! Oh, I hope I'll get laid! You and me both, son. Is there a moral to this story? Didn't see that coming...

Random Alien Comic #278 by papabearyg 12-21-02

Alien invasions of the past. We come in peace. Bullshit, no one comes in peace anymore. Alien invasions of the present. We come in peace, really. Bullshit, no one comes in peace anymore. Alien invasions of the future? We come looking for disco. You're about 300 years too late, honey.

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...Objectivity is so subjective...

Donkeyburglar by akirajim 12-21-02

Godammit! I just want to fuck something! What's this...? Hello. Have you accepted Christ into your life? What? Christ? Is he another one of those assclown disco dancers?

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

Bathetic by akirajim 12-21-02

Huh huh... Can ah touch yer vagina, lady? Later... Oh yeah, honey. Y'all suck better 'n disco! Deeper, baby, deeper. Masturbation ain't so fulfilling no more. Oh yeah, bitch, swallow that fat load.

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

Another.

Woah by papabearyg 12-21-02

Diso sucks! YOU suck! By PapaBearYG

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...Objectivity is so subjective...

Merry Christmas! by ObiJo 12-21-02

I thought I'd write a comic where attitudechicka and I rub each other down with hot oil and then do things to each other that will bring about tort reform. This bed sure looks comfy, obi. Ah, but the tit twister is that I'm extremely tired right now. Too tired to perform, in fact. Comfy comfy comfy. But fear not, loyal reader. I'd never leave you... uh... hangin... Why not come over and join me?

Merry Christmas! by ObiJo 12-21-02

So, without further ado... Why lara, you sure are looking fit. Why thank you chicka. Ah, fuck that tempo... Let me stick my tongue in your vagina! Okay! My tongue is in your vagina! Is it ever!

Merry Christmas to Kajun! by ObiJo 12-21-02

Me first. No, me. I can wait, but only if I get to rub something. I say all at once. SUCH JOY SUCH... INCREDIBLE... JOY.

Merry Christmas to This Guy! by ObiJo 12-21-02

Me first. No, me. I can wait but only if I get to anoint something. I say all at once. SUCH JOY SUCH... INCREDIBLE... JOY.

Contest?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Okay, this is my best one yet. Not that that says anything.

Specificity? by papabearyg 12-21-02

Oh, beelzebub! Come forth and grant my wish! Come, Lord of Darkness! i've fed you the hearts of 278 virgin schoolboys! Give me what I want! Hey, I didn't ask for a Gloria Gaynor LP... disco is awful... Pathetic fool. All you asked for was a bitch who sucks more than any other bitch.

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...Objectivity is so subjective...

Kickin the shit in hell. by theandyman 12-21-02

So i'm like, "Bitch I'm gonna cut your throat." And she's all "How about you don't" and she puts her hand in my face and says "whateva". Ya? And I'm all "Hmm. Let me think about that one. Cut your head off, or 'get out yo face'. Hmm I wonder what I'm gonna chose." So you killed her right? No. Her boyfriend showed up at the last minute. Oh. He's a hunk.

I didn't put anything in about disco though :(. oh maybe that's why he was gonna kill her! i don't know. :(

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http://www.stayingoccupied.com/

CC 161: Bathos! by boinky33 12-21-02

Wanna go bowling? Yeah, sure.

CC 161: Bathos returns! by boinky33 12-21-02

Oh, yeah! Oh, that's good! I'm just getting started! Come on! FASTER! Check mate! (Disco sucks!)

CC 161: Disco sucks! by boinky33 12-21-02

I'M GOING TO GUT YOU LIKE A FUCKING FISH!!!!!!! OH, GOD! NOOOOO!!!!!! ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY BEFORE I KILL YOU? Yes, I'm you're father.

CC 161: Bathos goes to summer camp! by boinky33 12-21-02

I discovered the cure for cancer! Really? No.

Yay for comics that break multiple rules.

RAAAR, TOBOR WILL NOW RAPE YOU IN THE BATHOS! by TheElPaso 12-21-02

KICK

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

Here to Help by itsclark 12-15-02

Look kid; all I'm saying is that for every problem, there's a solution! In my experience that solution usually involves single-minded, drunken smashfest. But everyone is different! You're not a particularly GOOD youth councellor, are you?

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Just did this one, not really for this competition but it kinda fits so...

The reason to become a mad scientist by Juanwalez 12-22-02

At last my doomsday device is finally compleated! After years of hard work its now perfect! It took some doing but it was worth it! The world will be mine! I will be able to get whatever I want, I will rule everything! All will obey and fear me as their allmighty leader! And I'll finally get laid

CC 161: Modern History Comes ALIVE by bonwag 12-23-02

o/ There lived a certain man in Russia long ago; he was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow o/ o/ Most people looked at him with terror and with fear, but to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear o/ o/ He could preach the bible like a preacher, full of ecstacy and fire o/ o/ but he also was the kind of teacher women would desire o/ o/ Boris Nikolayevich Yeltsin is a son ovva bitch. There is a cat that really was gone. o/ Man, this sucks. I wish I really was gone.

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exit, pursued by a bear

CC 161: Thou Shalt Not The Hustle by kaufman 12-23-02

You were caught playing disco music in Sunday school. Don't you know God sees disco as an abomination? He does? He caused the Great Flood to drown out the disco. Sodom and Gomorrah -- they were playing disco. The Golden Calf was a dance, never mind the incorrect translations. Now, son, you know the punishment. Turn around, bend over... ... and scrub the floor. I'll be back in half an hour, and it better be clean.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Here's my submission:

CC 161: Mentat by naz_ghul 12-23-02

Doctor, How is Operation: Mentat going? The boys in Washington will want to see thier funding yield results. We've made an incredible breakthrough. We can grant astounding intelligence, but limited a single field. We administer the serum, and the first thing the subject touches becomes his specialization. What is the specialization of the first test subject? Tactics? Espionage? Assassination? The subject's knowledge of his specialization is unsurpassed. Never before has the U.S. Goverment had access to an individual with information this complete. "He's a Snack Mentat. Some idiot administered the serum right before lunch." It is by will alone I set my mouth in motion. It is by the snack of Cheetoh that the stomach acquires cheese, the fingers acquire stain, the stain becomes a warning . . .

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The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

** BUZZ!!! ** Okay, kids, it's over! Here're the results of the contest. Take a deep breath... okay, ready? Here we go!

Comics That Made Me Chuckle

JrnymnNate's series (sorry, though; no disco!)
Bob's Discovery by Banfi (again, no disco.)
Futile attempts to win (1) by Blackwolf (what, no one read the disco rule?)
Dance of Death series by kaufman
You Want it, You Got it by punkrockskaboy (though it's not actually bathetic)
Donkeyburglar by akirajim
Merry Christmas! by ObiJo
Bathos! by Boinky33 (I liked this one a lot, but NO DISCO! ;P )
Bathos returns! by Boinky33

Comics that I Actually Considered for Winning
Scyess is my gay lover by ObiJo (lies and falsehoods, all of it!)
Hatfield vs McCoy kaufman
Random Alien Comic #278 by papabearyg
Specificity? by papabearyg

Oh, and I can't forget the
Dishonorable Mentions

kramer_vs_kramer, for liking disco and admitting it.

But there can only be one
WINNER

CC161: Father Bater by UnknownEric 12-20-02

Boy, disco really sucks, doesn't it? Tell me about it.