I was torturing flex-pose Batman and Robin on my mettle study lamp in my room (they lay taped to the mettle shade under the heat of 100 watts!) and I got interrupted by breakfast. When I got back they had melted down the mettle lampshade onto my desk. I had assumed they would be more resourceful.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Thought I posted this already... sorry if it's a repeat.

---
What others say about boorite!

This thread seems an ample place to ask whether it's pronounced kowfman or kofman. I guess it's of Teutonic origin, so my supposition would be the former, even though Andy Kaufman used the latter.

I pronounce it roughly COUGH-min. My paternal grandparents came from somewhere east of German-speaking territory (Poland? Lithuania? Russia? Ukraine), and anglicized their alien surname when arriving in the US. The rule of thumb I learned is that it takes two trailing 'n's for a "man" name to be truly German.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I've been pronouncing it kowf-men for too long to change now.

Then again, I managed to break myself of the habit of pronouncing agto's nick "ag-toe-raynj"

I guess it will depend on whether Sam starts pronouncing your name right, too. He's the one I'd be most likely to hear speaking it aloud. I'll get back to you with an update.

---
I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

[Click to view comic: 'In Cyberspace No One Can Hear You Mispronounce Their Name']

I haven't fully weaned myself of that one yet!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I haven't fully weaned myself of that one yet!

Well, I still do it sometimes, intentionally.

---
I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Next stop, the Frozen North!

[Click to view comic: 'What? You wanted me to get little Billy to draw some strips?']

If i don't check in tonight, see you in November.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Inspired by something in the local paper, the rules here are simple. Take a classic comic, and change everything but the first letter of each word.

Not a contest, but if anyone else would like to try, this was the most coherent thing I could generate.

[Click to view comic: 'Confederate Pyromaniacs']

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

---

If MankyDeisel was made into an action figure...I would bash one into tiny mangled pieces with a hammer. I would melt another into a flat circle in the bottom of an old saucepan. I would put another onto a concrete path and repeatedly run over it with a lawnmower until there were no pieces big enough to get caught in the blades. The fourth... I think I might pour iodine or acetate on it, and watch it slowly liquefy.
Of course, since he will never have an action figure modelled after him, I would happily use parts of his actual body instead.

---

Poor Luke Skywalker... eventually there was such a buildup of glue around his poor neck that he could no longer turn his head...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Kaufman is still a Colossal Geek !!!

---
“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I do believe I have to repost this in this thread.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 131: Therapy Goes Afowl']

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The thing is, some people don't fully grasp the consequences of what they say ...

[Click to view comic: 'Real Cowboy Physics']

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Look, look! My comics are starting to have a real influence on this world.

Remember this one?

[Click to view comic: 'Ice Station H-Bomb']

Well, now the drumbeat has been picked up by a weekly syndicated comic. Soon Garfield will be calling for war, and the tide of momentum will be unstoppable!

Folks, be careful with the comics you make. Someone may take them seiously.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Bump.

My 3000th forum post.

Have a nice day.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ha! I already beat you!

Now onto the comics....

ah, the days when everyone but me was legible.

I've been plagiarized!

Check out today's Mother Goose & Grimm.

Look familiar? You may remember this gag from 383 days ago:

[Click to view comic: 'CC 164: Return to Santa']

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

What, no minutes and seconds?

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I think I wrote it early afternoon. Does that help?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I wouldn't mind donating for a memorial. However, I want his head on a stick as proof that he's dead.

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

And for the three of you who care (What? Mom's not reading this? Okay, the two of you who care), I'm fast closing in on my 2000th comic. It'll show up any day now, probably in this space. Matter of fact, I've already written it, but I still have the small issue of drawing up nos. 1998 and 1999.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Maybe you could make them about how you need material for two comics.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I'll be next.