Did Anyone Else Have This Reaction? by Spankling 1-21-07

"Corpse Bride" Sex? I thought you would never ask! Anything special? If you'll sit in an ice bath for ten minutes first I promise I'll do that thing with my tongue up your butt for as long as you like. Oh well, it's better than when he wants me to go "Vroom Vroom" after watching Cars.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

attitudechicka

May I imitate a rooster while we're at it?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Lassie by Injokester 1-23-07

Lassie! I'm trapped in the well! Go get help! Lassie? It rubs the lotion on it's skin.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

Homeland Security Wolf by biped 1-24-07

If you care about your country--if you have even the slightest sense of patriotic duty--you'll help us in this time of need, as only you, a wolf, can. Well, Dick? Did he agree to it? No, Mr. President. It's as though he had absolutely no awareness of current events or any concept of nationalism whatsoever. What did the man creature want with you? I don't know. It just kept making funny mouth sounds.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Found this guy on random comics:

Old Faceful by WoodenEdsel 11-16-04

NEWS FLASH, She doesn't want anything to do with you ! I better call her SO QUIT CALLING HER ! I Know, I'll take her some flowers ! You just don't get it ! Film at 11:00

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

RCL no. 1413 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-06-07

"Hmmm..." "It's so hard to decide since they all look alike..." ...but, I'm almost 100% positive the murderer is the second one from the right!" FUCK!

Groovy! - What if whoman meant kike? by edoggydog 2-15-07

When you combine a whore with a human, you get a "whoman"... Groovy! You're turn... Okay... When you combine a gorilla with a nigger, you get more NIGGERS! What?

RCL no. 1423 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-15-07

Petey and Pauly the Pirate audition for the next "Pirates of the Carribean" movie... Shiver me ballsack! Arrrrrrrggghh! At last, you handrubber! BAAAAAARRRK!! "NEXT!!" Welp... Next stop: gay scalawag porn! Yo ho.

CC278: Jesus Tells All by UnknownEric 3-11-05

Jesus, is it true that you died on the cross for our sins? Well, yes and no. Yes and no? I mean, "your sins" was the PR-approved reason, but really... Do you have any idea how much pussy you get after you come back from the DEAD?

I found this one in my "archives." I guess I can be funny when I put my mind to it.

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I has a flavor!

Stupid Things People Have Told Me by ivytheplant 2-21-07

Jesus is the answer!   !   I want my stapler back, you thief. Someone squealed.

Stanley Borgnine Day by biped 2-23-07

Children, we have a very special celebrity guest today. It's Ernest Borgnine's son, Stanley. Hi, kids. I'm Stanley Borgnine. What did you ever do? Uh...nothing, really. Any other questions? Guess what, Mommy? Stanley Borgnine came and visited us in school today. I know, sweetie. I'm your teacher.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The War on Terror has won by boorite 9-17-05

Sir, because you're running to your plane last-minute style, we must detain you for bonus security purposes. You guys never stop thinkin', do you? Sir, it appears that trained apes have packed your belongings. They weren't trained. Sir, do you have any weapons in your pants? Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.

Chemo' Money by smamurai 2-26-07

It's a bald kid in a wheelchair begging for cash He says he needs the money to buy drugs MOW MY LAWN, BITCH!

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

True Story by ivytheplant 1-04-07

At my brother's confirmation Will you fight evil in all its forms? Hell yeah! What my brother was thinking: Stop in the name of justice evildoer! For you face: CAPTAIN AWESOME!! Drats! Foiled again! Boy was he disappointed... ...and that's how we use the power of Jesus to fight the minions of Satan. This is the lamest religion ever.

4: The World's Worst Man...

Meets a friend's date Hello! I've just started going out with your friend, Dan! WHAT!? For God's sake, why!? Have you LOOKED at him!?

by NeoVid, 3-04-07

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Fare Mail by smamurai 2-26-07

Hows the diet son? Granny, I hardly think about food at all nowadays You sent me a stamped addressed envelope asking for any leftovers Well? I put a sausage down the garbage chute last night Bitch you better suit up.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

RCL no. 1447 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-05-07

Hi... My Wife's birthday is coming up, and I wanted to buy something naughty for her. Say, like a sexy dress or revealing negligee or something... What's her size? I'm a size 7... She's a size 7...

Covering all Angles

I know what side my bread is buttered on. It's buttered on both sides, you fat bastard!

by smamurai, 3-07-07

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

In too deep by lukket 3-03-07

Alright, let's get on with it. Nngg. Ng. Ng. Oooh yes. Deeper. Later What's a beautiful bar like you doing inside a woman like this?

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Lather, Rise, Repeat by ivytheplant 3-07-07

Monday...................................Tuesday Hey look! My comic finally made it on page one of toprated! Oh, it got downvoted to page ten of toprated. Wednesday............................Thursday Hey look! My comic finally made it on page one of toprated! Oh, it got downvoted to page ten of toprated. Friday.....................................Saturday Hey look! My comic finally made it on page one of toprated! Oh, it got downvoted to page ten of toprated.

The irony is not lost on me.

Lather, Rise, Repeat Again by ivytheplant 3-08-07

Monday...................................Tuesday This comic has a better rating than mine. I'd better downvote it so mine will look better. This comic has a better rating than mine. I'd better downvote it so mine will look better. Wednesday............................Thursday This comic has a better rating than mine. I'd better downvote it so mine will look better. This comic has a better rating than mine. I'd better downvote it so mine will look better. Friday.....................................Saturday This comic has a better rating than mine. I'd better downvote it so mine will look better. This comic has a better rating than mine. I'd better downvote it so mine will look better.

Ben Affleck vs. Ben Affleck by biped 3-15-07

I oughtta fucking KILL you for making "Gigli." I oughtta fucking DESTROY you for "Pearl Harbor." Grrr...fuckin' rip out yer stupid.... Grrrr...fuckin' chop off yer stinkin'... URRRGGGH!!! UNNNNGHH!!! SUCK IT!!! SUCK...IT!!! WOOF!!! WOOF!!! ARRRRRGH!!! SLAM IT!!! I SAID FUCKING SLAM IT, YOU BITCH!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Random Moments in the Life of J by Jeroyall 1-28-07

Jesus she's hot. I should say something witty to get her attention. Here he goes, about to say something really stupid again. Why haven't I had sex with you yet? Cause I keep saying no. Well, try saying yes next time. ... Um, ok then. I guess.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Wisdom Abounds by gabe_billings 4-11-01

Fish and guests stink after three days. But a pile of poop starts to reek right away. Was that a proverb? No, just a warning for you before you head into your bathroom.

Conundrum by gabe_billings 9-30-01

You've got a bag of corn, a chicken and a dog to get across a river. You have one boat and can only take one thing at a time. If left alone, the chicken will eat the corn and the dog will eat the chicken. How do you get them all across safely? Can I stick the chicken up my ass? No. Then I'm fresh out of ideas.

Hospitality by gabe_billings 2-24-02

How's the house working out for you, Gabe? Wirthling baby! You got one hell of a pad here. Except for the little thing with the bathroom. What little thing with the bathroom? It looks like your monkey got loose and smeared shit all over the walls. We don't have a monkey. Oh. Maybe that was me then.

Wirthling Is a Colossal Geek by gabe_billings 3-07-02

I don't remember exactly why the computer industry refers to 65536 as 64k or to 1024 KB as 1 MB rather than 1.024 MB. By the way, while 1 megabyte does not equal 1,000,000 bytes, 1 megabit does equal 1,000,000 bits. Wow... I thought he was gonna go on forever. How many times did you hit him with that hammer? 2 kilowhacks. Now I can't remember if that 2000 smacks or 2048.

Ess Kar Gogh by gabe_billings 5-28-02

So this snail walks into a car dealership and says, "I want one of these. But I need you to do something special for me. I want you to paint a big 'S', right on the hood." And when you're done, paint an 'S' on the roof, and a couple more on the doors. The salesman did what he asked and the snail laid down his money and zoomed off in his new car. "Wow," the salesman exclaimed to a coworker. "Will you look at that fucking snail? How does he drive without any fucking hands?"

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Fun with the "random" button

Peace by Kowalski 3-08-03

To what? Say no to peace? You brought that on yourself.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002