gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.
Member Rated:

|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| Fish and guests stink after three days. | |
 | |  |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 |
 | |  |
| But a pile of poop starts to reek right away. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 | |  |
| No, just a warning for you before you head into your bathroom. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| You've got a bag of corn, a chicken and a dog to get across a river. You have one boat and can only take one thing at a time. | |
 | |  |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| If left alone, the chicken will eat the corn and the dog will eat the chicken. How do you get them all across safely? | |
 | |  |
|
 |
 | |  |
| Can I stick the chicken up my ass? | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 | |  |
| Then I'm fresh out of ideas. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| How's the house working out for you, Gabe? | |
 | |  |
|
 |
 | |  |
| Wirthling baby! You got one hell of a pad here. Except for the little thing with the bathroom. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| What little thing with the bathroom? | |
 | |  |
|
 |
 | |  |
| It looks like your monkey got loose and smeared shit all over the walls. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 | |  |
| Oh. Maybe that was me then. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 | |  |
| I don't remember exactly why the computer industry refers to 65536 as 64k or to 1024 KB as 1 MB rather than 1.024 MB. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 | |  |
| By the way, while 1 megabyte does not equal 1,000,000 bytes, 1 megabit does equal 1,000,000 bits. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| Wow... I thought he was gonna go on forever. How many times did you hit him with that hammer? | |
 | |  |
|
 |
 | |  |
| 2 kilowhacks. Now I can't remember if that 2000 smacks or 2048. | |
 | |  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| So this snail walks into a car dealership and says, "I want one of these. But I need you to do something special for me. I want you to paint a big 'S', right on the hood." | |
 | |  |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| And when you're done, paint an 'S' on the roof, and a couple more on the doors. The salesman did what he asked and the snail laid down his money and zoomed off in his new car. | |
 | |  |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| "Wow," the salesman exclaimed to a coworker. "Will you look at that fucking snail? How does he drive without any fucking hands?" | |
 | |  |
|
 |
|
|
|
--- 100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.
|