Funny Things the Homeless Say in my Dreams - 1 by crackpanther 3-13-07

Boy that alternative minimum tax sure is a klller. Haha I pooped on that corner! Goddamit Brett I can't talk to you 'bout anything serious! Or was it you that pooped on the corner?? We both did, Brett. Right!

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The recession spreads by stuntdouble 12-05-02

come on....come onnn... Come onnn..... Come on! If you don't hurry up, the King's Men are gonna get laid off too, pal, COME ON

Class. Thankyou random button.

and, just because I've never posted a comic of mine here before:

Untitled II by lima 3-24-07

Where...... where am I?...... I remember...... the last thing I remember...... I was attached to a rock...... an enourmous, giant rock...... hurtling through space at maginificent speed...... it swerved its course..... through this universe..... but I couldn't feel it spin..... I could stand up..... and could breathe...... and on my tiny section..... a bittercold smattering of surface.... amidst a caucophony of liquid... were scattered herds of giant statues.... of cylinders and cubes.... giant to me yet.... tiny to this world.... and one such sculpture.... that so aroused my curiosity with grandeur of design..... yet warmth of interior.... allowed me to enter its core..... to marvel at its sculptures of glass.... and sultry temptresses.... draped over tables.... and sipping honey.... from icy cylinders... or decanters of nectar... of which one was bestowed upon me... poured from a vase of crystal.... upon which was emblazoned... in letters proud and pure.... 'Absinthe'

Cuntsquirrel Returns Home by RedfeatheR 3-27-07

Cuntsquirrel waits Cuntsquirrel does not hasten... for the Cuntsquirrel acts on opportunity... Timing is everything to the Cuntsquir--

Self pimpage ahoy!

Schrodinger's First Date by Smurph 5-10-06

Hey darlin, I brought you a present. Its a pet cat. Oh, that's so sweet! Yeah... Yeah... Listen, don't open the box, else it was your fault.

Morrocan Physicists by Smurph 3-27-06

One day at the Kasbah... So I says, "Those turbans ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha ha! What the fuck are you talking about?

If that one's been done before, let me know. I thought of it, pee'd a little, then wondered if anyone else had thought of it...

Ballycarry 90210 by Smurph 1-11-06

What's wrong with you? Well, Becky's not talking to me. I was having a tin of beer in the canteen earlier, but to hide what I was doing, it was in a plastic bag. Now she thinks I sniff glue. Del? Yeah? You were sniffing glue again, weren't you? ... Yes.

Bilal and Korfeg 30 by alkoholik 1-08-04

What are you going to do now? I'll do what any daddy does.. Whats that...? Hammer Nails in my head... I thought you stopped that I thought you stoped smelling like penis..

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xx( o Y o. )xx

I hit the random comic layout button and this came up:

Well, no, not with words, I added those.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

A suture without a thread of evidence by lukket 4-07-07

I'm glad you could come with such a short notice. I think one of my patients is trying to blackmail me. Does he or she threaten you? No, not exactly. Well, you know, in extortion cases it's a lot like being a surgeon. Oh? You can't sue anyone without a threat.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Insert Funny Title Here by gabe_billings 4-07-07

One day at the Associated Press, the plumbers discuss the recent seafood backup in the sewers... So I says, "Well them Reuter turd lines ain't gonna generate grubby prawns by themselves." Ha, ha! What the fuck are you talking about?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Me and my Robot by MaKK_BeNN 6-06-04

What do you get when you slice a baby open? An erection! Inputting data

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Laugh Wars by Spankling 4-11-07

What is blonde, giggly and deadly with a light saber? I give up. What is blonde, giggly and deadly with a light saber? Goldie Hawn Canobie Ha ha ha ha ha! Wait. I don't get it.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

retro ass!!!

insane by xxausrottenxx 2-08-04

oh god this is horrible! it appears ive gone back in time to 5 minutes from now you were asleep... no no, that theory is just not feasable, im a time traveler! i think it was just that... oh gosh this is just like that movie, oh god the zombies, theyre everywhere! *sigh*

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Ed's Knife's Edge X by RedfeatheR 4-13-07

Dear Dad, I think it's time you knew something. I love you. And I mean that in more than a daddy-daughter way Let's have rough sex to celebrate this love! Love, Your waiting Daughter, Kasey

FTC 101: Wha-Wha! by boloboffin 12-13-06

Is it hot out here or did I just eat my testicles? Whew! It's hot out here! Oh, thank God. You gonna finish that? No, please, help yourself.

I updated this one with a line for Finkel... I mean, horsey.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Cubiclesque Capades by boloboffin 4-22-07

Chugga-chugga- chugga-chugga- chugga-chugga- Melvin, what do you think you're doing? Chugging around the lake, Mr. Wastaba! I'm a motorboat! Oh, thank God. For a minute there, I thought I was going to have to start cutting the Prozac in half.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Yay!

Congratulations sir, now it's a girl.

by Injokester, 4-25-07

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

Covering all Angles

I know what side my bread is buttered on. It's buttered on both sides, you fat bastard!

by smamurai, 3-07-07

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Game Night by HCRoyall 4-30-07

Luke, You've come across a wagon full of goods and a merchant in the middle of nowhere as you ride to catch up with your friends. I'm going to kill him and take his wagon and wares. And if your friends ask where the wagon came from? I tell them the truth. That you killed the merchant and took his stuff? No, that I came across the wagon in the middle of nowhwere.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCL no. 1507 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-30-07

The night before his first day as a car salesman, out-of-work structural engineer Bill practices his greeting... Hi, my name is Bill... How may I serve you? Filled with hope and optimism, Bill looks forward to the start of what promises to be a bright and exciting career! Hi, my name is Bill... How may I serve you? But, after a weekend of massive rejection from surly customers, for which Bill is not psychologically prepared, he grabs an automatic pistol and kills twenty people before turning the gun on himself. Hi, my name is Bill... How may I serve you?

If Thelma and Louise were characters from Stripcreator...

lol

by HCRoyall, 4-30-07

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Wok Dedog by RedfeatheR 4-26-07

May eye-ah take-ah you oddah? Yes, I brought my dog in yesterday and I'm here to pick him up His name is Bastian

The Realization Of Bucky Masturbate by biped 5-01-07

Dick, here's that chicken drumstick I owe you from lunch yester-- I AM TRYING TO TAKE A PISS, BUCKY. FUCK!!! GEEZ!!! Sir, I wish to register a formal complaint against my co-worker, Dick. He said "fuck" and "geez" to me in the bathroom, and-- Who the hell are you? Holy cow, I thought I worked there.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Highway to Hell by The_young_scot 5-01-07

So, why are we on the run again? You know when you plant an apple seed, an apple tree grows? Same thing happens with dead hookers Don't judge me

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Sometime this century, one of my comics will be popular.

Fast "food" by NeoVid 5-02-07

I was buying. Why did you just get cookies when we went to McDonald's instead of real food? I obviously didn't want real food, since I agreed to go to McDonald's. Also, I got the chocolate chip cookies because it's the only thing on the menu that has a chance of actually having meat in it.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet