I'm sorry for ripping off Newman and Baddiel.
- They were funny and deserve fanfic
I'm sorry for ripping off Digitiser.
- Again, Digitiser ruled.
I'm sorry that I haven't put that last tile down in the bathroom floor.
- It was a carpet tile and I'm now thinking of getting ceraminc tiles put down.

I'm sorry I didn't send better artwork for the CD swaps.
- printing off stuff in the office became difficult,

I'm sorry for sending Brad an empty CD box.
- I got confused. I sent kitty only one disc as well by mistake.
I'm sorry for the things I've said. But some thoughts just won't leave my head. And even though it's complicated, we've got time to start again.
- Teenage Fanclub
I'm sorry for every time I double posted.
- Shit happens, and at least I know not to click twice now.
I'm sorry to the members of my firm who are blissfully unaware of the countless hours I've wasted reading and writing comics.
- Yeah, well, if they showed more interest in the project I've been owkring on for the last two years maybe I wouldn't have spent all my time making gags about tax attorneys and Jedi Car Salesmen

I'm sorry to our development head, who is standing behind me as I type, for accidentally calling Ekpyro a cunt and then printing it out on his printer.
- That is why I can now no longer use the printer at work for any reason.
I'm sorry I haven't replaced the bath panel or fixed the hot water tank.
- Let me make this clear. I am not a handyman, and would rather spend my weekends in London drinking beer and gigging than grouting and cutting some bit of PVC.
I'm sorry for introducing the word "quotefile" into the stripcreator lexicon.
- It was a term from an old college newsgroup that caught on.

I'm sorry for banjaxing Chicka.
- I think she's better now.
I'm sorry for spitting tea on my monitor.
- I got a new one.
I'm sorry that Chooby went missing.
- He was eventually found alive, if not smelling really bad and missing a kidney.

I'm sorry for not being a better student of brickido.
- I'm not treacherous enough. Yet.

I'm sorry for pretending to boorite that I know dick
one about woodwork (even though I'm interested)
- I learned a lot about dovetail joints.

I'm sorry that crabby's homework was more interesting than writing user documentation.
- Good job I'm changing job in 3 weeks.

I'm sorry I didn't flame more of the crap newbies and encourage more of the better ones.
- This is why I have five stars; because I never offer opinion.

And lastly I'm sorry that my signature misleads people; I'm not drunk on power and absinth - I hardly touch the stuff. But "Drunk on real ale" didn't have the same ring.
- We all need a gimmick. Besides, some of the best strips I've written have been after a night on the Green Fairy.

Also, I am not sorry for seeing Ivy and kitty's tits, it was the best birthday present EVAR!.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I'm sorry for making comics that are more intelligent than any other, I'm just a cool dude.

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=D

quote:

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Also, I am not sorry for seeing Ivy and kitty's tits, it was the best birthday present EVAR!.

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quote:

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I'm sorry I don't talk to pita more often then I do.
I just...don't.....have the strength.

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There is no excuse for me ... except maybe a broken condom.

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

I'm sorry for the comics I made in n00bdom.
Hey, I was a newb.

I'm sorry I didn't get on the forums earlier so I could rectify my mistakes.
I avoided the forums as a n00b because of the fact that I didn't want to deal with people on there for a bit.

I'm sorry for not being on much in a week.
I've been sick and have had no sleep from having a job, so the two kinda made it bad for me.

I'm sorry that the rice pudding I bought from the deli ended up having rasins in it.
I should have looked at it a little more closely

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

quote:

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I'm sorry I didn't marry bunner any of the three times I could have.
The first time we were way too young. The other times... see below.
I'm sorry I ever met my ex.
No excuse needed.
I'm sorry I can't seem to be happy without my zoloft.
And my zoloft isn't happy without me, so there.
I'm sorry zoloft is so damned expensive.
Otherwise I'd pass it out to half the world.
I'm sorry for boiling that bunny rabbit.
I honestly didn't know it was a relative of NooniePuu.
I'm sorry I never had my collection of poetry published.
I spend all my time here instead.
I'm sorry for steering the Titanic toward that iceberg.
I was feeling guilty over what I did in that car with bunner.
I'm sorry I'm frequently clueless and just keep missing the boat.
It's my parents' fault.
I'm sorry I didn't ravage DexX while he was visiting from Oz.
I'm a goody-two-shoes.
I'm sorry Kaufman couldn't spend that weekend on the island with us.
Kaufman was being a manly man by staying with his wife when she needed him during a health crisis.
I'm sorry I burned down all the bridges in Madison County.
I was miserable staying in that farmhouse with my cold, unfeeling husband. And that was before my anger management sessions.
I'm sorry I am so guilty of plagiarism.
To copy others is necessary, but to copy oneself is pathetic...oops.
I'm sorry I didn't wear panties when I was with Christopher Reeve.
I didn't realize he can't see through them.
I'm sorry I deleted all my crappy prison karaoke comics.
I thought they sucked.
I'm sorry for pushing bunner down that ravine as he yelled out "aaas yooou wiiish..." I was showing crabby how to have the strength to talk to me.
I'm sorry I have trouble trusting men.
I've been helping MikeyG...never mind, it's private.
I'm sorry I'm French (not).
I've been helping niteowl get over his shyness.

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Excuses, excuses...
I'm sorry I don't have more chances to go on IRC.
My job has been keeping me busier than usual lately.
I'm sorry for all those ideas I borrowed and/or stole.
I'm a lazy sod.
I'm sorry for all the rule flaunting Comic Competition entries I've made.
I have a tendency to not read instructions.
I'm sorry for all the penis jokes in my comics.
I'm immature.
I'm sorry I once whipped out my penis and rubbed it on Noonie's cartoon avatar on my screen.
Umm... I like Noonie?
I'm sorry I said that out loud.
That's a recurring problem of mine.
I'm sorry I had the poor decorum to ask Ivy for naked pictures on her web forum.
I'm a horny bastard. Plus I'd like to see Ivy nekked. ;)
I'm sorry I continually disappear on the rare occasions when I actually win a Comic Competition and leave everyone hanging for a few days.
I actually have no excuse for this one...
I'm sorry for developing schoolboy crushes on most of the women on this site, despite being happily married and relatively well-adjusted.
See, I'm totally gay, except for the fact that I'm wildly attracted to women.

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I has a flavor!

I'm sorry that I saw Mikey's parents having sex.
I walked in while they were in the shower.

I'm sorry that I haven't sent my side CD Swap/comic book to jes yet.
I haven't had time to paint lately and I think my artwork looks weak when it's in black and white.

I'm sorry I make comics about work all the time.
It's either that or write comics about being in the car to or from work.

I'm sorry that I don't keep in better touch with Chicka and kitty.
I can't go on IRC at work these days.

I'm sorry I haven't given more money to the site.
I'm a poor actor and a poor filing clerk.

I'm sorry I don't post more and generally have nothing to say.
This is kind of its own excuse.

I'm sorry i can't figure out how to go to the SC chat from my work computer.
It gave me the offer originally to download the software and I said no on accident and I've tried other IRC clients and none have worked.

I'm sorry I coveted Ren's ice cream bar.
I wanted it's oh so chocolaty center and I couldn't leave them...ALONE!

I'm sorry for all the strips I've stolen from choadwarrior, niteowl, Big Evil Dan, and evil_d.
They're funny and they nestle themselves into my subconsciousness. Also, I forgot a bunch of other people whom I rip off because I was too busy.

I'm sorry that squidrabies doesn't do strips anymore.
I loved too much.

I'm sorry that we never got to have an official Literatti tournament and the subsequent ass kicking I would have dished out during said tourney.
This is someone else's excuse. I was ready to play. I'm just sorry it didn't happen.

I'm sorry I didn't know jes_l and Chi_the_Cynic when I was in London.
I hadn't been on the site yet.

Also,
I have not seen Ivy's or Kitty's boobs, because our love is much deeper than physical. Also, I'd probably have to show them mine and, due to some bad Mild Duds, I'm currently lactating which would probably just embarass us all.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I'm sorry I don't donate more often.
Well, I hope to at least be able to keep donating for a while, though. I mean, even Brad needs a hooker once in a while.

I'm sorry my penis isn't as big as I want it to be.
Not as sorry as my girlfriends are, I'll warrant.

I'm sorry for making Chicka think I don't respect her.
Because I DO respect her. That does not change the fact that I would like to see her breasts.

I'm sorry for making kitty feel uncomfortable.
see: above response.

I'm sorry for Kajun_Firefly.
So is half the Eastern Seaboard.

I'm sorry I've not got funnier comics.
I'm a hit-or-miss type of guy. Mosltly miss.

I'm sorry I haven't met fuzzyman or kaufman or even boorite.
The worst thing is that fuzzy lives like 20 minutes from me, and kaufman was almost right next door to me for a good couple of days.

I'm sorry I never beat any dolphins over the head with dead baby seals.
Um...if I did that, I'd probably be apologizing for that as well.

I'm sorry for not reaming more shitty comic-makers and encouraging the better ones.
There really are a whole lot of shitty stripcreators on here, and I am their king.

I'm sorry I wasn't a part of SC when three lovely SC ladies revealed the mysteries of their jumblies.
I've never seen ivy's pic, but I have a feeling I'd still want to see her boobs.

I'm sorry I overpost and underamuse.
Some of you laugh, and that's a good thing.

I'm sorry that my collaborations with boinky aren't more fruitful and hysterical.
See: Mikey33. Also, if he ever draws and hosts any of the comics I've written for ShapeFactory, this might change. The first one I read was really good, but I don't think he hosted it.

Also, here's a brand new regret:
I'm sorry I didn't tell pita how adorable she is before. Pita, you are scrumptious!

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Ha!!!

Well, at least your doctor didn't just feel you up and ask if yours had been growing lately to which you had to respond, "No, I've always had an A cup..."

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I has a flavor!

Thank you, sweetie :D... you should know, though, that it's a very old photo of me and I'm a crusty, smelly old curmudgeon now. Oh, and did I mention I've had a sex change operation since then?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

That's okay, pita. You can't have changed THAT much in eight yeas or so. Besides, I had a sex change, too. I used to be merely androgynous, and now I'm Barely Discernable!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

quote:

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I'm sorry for all the strips I've stolen from choadwarrior, niteowl, Big Evil Dan, and evil_d.
They're funny and they nestle themselves into my subconsciousness. Also, I forgot a bunch of other people whom I rip off because I was too busy.

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I'm sorry that I let a life get in the way of things, and I don't have enough time to spend on this site.

I'm sorry that I don't make enough comics to brighten your day.

I'm sorry that I come from a different world, and don't understand enough about you or your comics.

I'm sorry that I make comics you find obscure.

I'm sorry that I'm so pathetic that this is the only way I can interact.

I'm sorry that most of my comics are ripoffs of old jokes you already know.

I'm sorry that some of my comics go beyond the borders of bad taste.

I'm sorry that most of my comics are a forgettable blur.

But I'm not at all sorry for the worst puns I've inflicted on you all.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I'm sorry that I spend too much time on this site, letting it interfere with other things.

I'm sorry that I make so many comics, it crashes your browser.

I'm sorry that I understand what you're trying to say so much, I instantly improve on the ideas.

I'm sorry that I make comics that make you spit yourr drink out of your nose at the most inopportune times.

I'm sorry that I'm so magnificent that you're intimidated to no end.

I'm sorry that most of my comics are such contorted twists on ideas, you need to visit a chiropractor after reading them.

I'm sorry that I judge some of my ideas beyond the borders of bad taste, and thus they never see the light of day, and you never get the chance to appreciate them.

I'm sorry that most of my comics are so memorable, they all blur together.

Finally, I'm sorry that I have no remorse whatsoever for the worst puns I've inflicted on you all.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

It's true. It's happened before. Twice.

They're all true. I'm sorry I have such a hard time lying.

I'm also sorry I have such fun bending the truth into Moebius strips.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I'm sorry kaufman doesn't let us see what he judges to be beyond the borders of bad taste.

I guarantee those comics would be gold.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Pure gold tested by fire, with all the dross removed.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I'm sorry my penis doesn't fit into Ivy's ass more comfortably.

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

quote:

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Also, I am not sorry for seeing Ivy and kitty's tits, it was the best birthday present EVAR!.

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quote:

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Also, I am not sorry for seeing Ivy and kitty's tits, it was the best birthday present EVAR!.

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Y'know, my birthday's coming up on the 10th...

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I'd let anyone see my manboobs if they asked nicely...

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I has a flavor!

I'm sorry for double-posting, God made me do it.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.