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The secret of life is perspective. by ObiJo 5-25-01

Water you looking at? Are you crazy?! There's a 30-foot wall of water coming right at us! Yes, I know. I was making a joke.

If I had my druthers I'd probably change the second panel to "Are you crazy?! There's a 30-foot wave coming right at us!" Also, if I had my druthers, I'd stop using words like hence and druthers.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

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Here's One by ObiJo 2-11-01

As the battle begins, Ernie starts to think that maybe The Flag of Death wasn't one of his better ideas.

Five days after I got here I wrote my favorite comic. And it's been all down hill since.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Here's another one of mine that sems to get me to snicker.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

My first use of the city buildings background.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I always liked my Lowpass Nights ones. This is my favourite of that series.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I like to make up new words.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Probably my personal favourite.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I think I like this one the best.

Jesus explains creation by apejuice 8-28-01

All things bright and beautiful. All creatures great and small . . . All things wise and wonderful. The lord God made them all . . . Except you.

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I LIVE!

Or maybe this one.

the confusion of one disciple by apejuice 8-28-01

Listen up fellas. I am issuing you all with names for the duration of the robbery. These are non-negotioable. Here goes . . . I want to be Mr. Black. I want to be Mr. Black. I want to be Mr. Black. I want to be Mr. Black. I want to be Celine Dion.

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I LIVE!

Apejuice's "Jesus explains creation" has to be one of the all-time best strips on this site.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Coming in at number five:

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Number Four:

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Number three:

I kind of like this one.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Number Two:

There's a squishy place in my heart for this one.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Number one:

My best friend's life is undoubtedly more comical than mine.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

all that will be left

So... it's just us now? Yep.

by ladyjdotnet, 5-09-01

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

and it's still funny! by ladyjdotnet 5-09-01

If you tell me a little bit more about your long lost son, perhaps I can help reunite you with him. Well, he was the son of a carpenter, and very sweet and good, and he had holes in his hands. Father?!?! Pinocchio?!?!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

the IRS blows goats. by ladyjdotnet 5-14-01

Awww man. The goverment used my tax refund to pay a creditor. This blows goats. Sign me up!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

whack by ladyjdotnet 5-15-01

I'm all outta whack. I guess I'll have to order some more whack.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

...and lastly, the comic that won me my first contest,

CC #31 - Captain Monosyllabic to the rescue! by ladyjdotnet 5-21-01

Captain Monosyllabic waits in his underground lair, ready to zoom into action at the next call for justice! ring-ring! Yo! Like the Shadow, Captain Monosyllabic also knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men... Quickly! We need help from Captain Monosyllabic! Who's this? Hmmm! ...he just isn't able to say it. You can't pronounce your own name, can you, Captain Monosyllabic. No!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I believe I can take credit for that. He appeared in a few of my "A nation perplexed" strips. Oddly enough, I scarcely knew a thing about Strom Thurmond before writing those strips. I needed six characters who could be Congresspeople, and I thought it would be great if he was one. Then I thought he should be from South Carolina, since they had that whole business with flying the Confederate flag over their capitol. So I did a little research on Congresspeople from South Carolina, and ST turned out to be a perfect fit.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Hey, I'm not one to blow my own trumpet (I wish!) but thanks a lot DexX.

(I just thought I'd include the quote for anyone who might have missed it earlier)

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I LIVE!

Ah, that's right. When I read it I pictured his toothless gums flapping and his white knuckles as he clung to the flag and the war, reluctant to give them up. Good stuff.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Never underestimate the genius of 'You can't pronounce your own name, can you, Captain Monosyllabic?'

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.

In the meantime, I have no classics. All of my good uns are much the same. For example...

Reasons Why You Can't Do A Party In A Lowpass Comic... by MatthewEastaugh 3-21-01

#1 - Dancing is impossible... ..mmm... Oi, get yer hands of me arse... #2 - Drinking is impossible... Hiccup. Oi weally love you. Yer me bestest mate. Hic. #3 - Lack of correct atmosphere... Ooh! Ooh! The Macarena! I love this one! ..sigh.. no one wants to dance with me. i hate life...

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.