Here Come The Terrorists Again by fuzzyman 11-16-02

Hello! You look like a dark and tortured soul! Would you like to join my terrorist network? I am a follower of Osama Bin Latte! It's "Osama Bin Laden," you fool! But, I-- What a maroon! But, I'm a Coffee Achiever!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Love Boat 2002 by fuzzyman 11-18-02

...with Patrick Stewart as Captain Merrill Stubing... Love, exciting and new! ...Jennifer Love Hewitt as Cruise Director Julie McCoy... Come aboard, we're expecting you! ...and Isaac Hayes as your bartender... Isaac! Can you dig it?

Not much of a comic, but I'd really like to see this show.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Alternative Medicine by fuzzyman 11-23-02

Do you suffer from chronic pain? Have you gotten no relief from traditional medicine? Why, yes, now that you mention it! I *do* suffer from chronic pain! I have the solution. It's a new twist on an ancient Chinese technique. Accupuncture? Wait... with that hammer and nails? No, this is an even more ancient technique called "Innacupuncture." Oh, well in that case...

More Alternative Medicine by fuzzyman 11-23-02

So.... If you're ready for your Innacupuncture treatment, just turn around. Wait.... how do I know this treatment of yours will work? Trust me. It's an ancient technique. Will it really cure my chronic pain? Trust me. After I drive these nails into your back, your chronic pain will be the last thing on your mind. Ah, let's get on with it, then!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

More Alternative Medicine by fuzzyman 11-23-02

Hi there, guy! *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* Hey! Why are you poking me? Stop it! It's a new technique for creating joy and happiness called "Accupoketure!" *poke* *poke* Well it's not working! Ow! I don't feel joyful or happy at all! Who cares about you? I feel GREAT! *poke* *poke* Not for long....

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

That would have been funnier if Dan hadn't said anything at the end.

I think he should have said it, but in dialog rather than thought, and with no ellipsis. It would have come off "dryer" that way.

Either way, still a good comic.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

The Terrorists Just Keep On Comin' by fuzzyman 11-27-02

Hello! I would like to offer you membership in my terrorist cell! Wow! Can I be a ribosome? A what? I don't understand-- Oh, girls can't be ribosomes? That's okay! How about a chloroplast? Offer withdrawn. Oooh, I know! I can be an endoplasmic reticulum!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Antiques Roadshow by fuzzyman 12-11-02

So, tell me the story of how you came into posession of that ceramic cat. It belonged to my great, great grandfather, Elijah Honus. It was given to him by General Lee after Lee's victory at Gettysburg. I see. A very interesting provenance! Except for the little sticker on the bottom that says, "Made in Taiwan." Yes, I understand General Lee was always importing interesting fine objects d'art from the Orient! Well, outside of the fact that this ceramic cat is worth $2 at a flea market, you should realize that Lee lost at Gettysburg. The South shall rise again!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Harry Potter and the Chamberpot of Secretions by fuzzyman 12-12-02

What's up, Hermione? Not much, Harry! Ooooh! Oh my God, something happening! Whaaa----? Ahhhh!!!! Welcome to the magic of puberty!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Cows by fuzzyman 12-24-02

...so then my partners and I blew up the milking barn! It was udderly destroyed! I don't understand. What's your beef with the farmer? He wanted mooove us to a monestary. Holy cow! Still, maybe blowing things up is cowardly... I think you're milking this for all it's worth.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Bad Videos by fuzzyman 1-26-03

I rented this really cool reality video last night. Do tell. These kids put on their color-coorindinated clothes, and the clothes got tighter and tighter and tighter until the kids couldn't breathe!!!! That sounds kind of lame. What was it called? "When Garanimals Attack."

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Time to revive the old thread...

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 1 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Hello, stranger! What brings a man in a suit out to farm country? Mr. McDonald? I'm Brent Smith from the Executive Institute for Environmental Initiatives Organization. E.I.E.I.O? Ah, you've heard of us! Excellent!

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 2 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

I'm very pleased to have found you, Mr. MacDonald! So, what did you want to see me about, Brent? Well, we understand that you're an expert in animal husbandry. I've got 18 years of experience under my belt. Speaking of which, here's my wife. Betsy! Make our visitor some tea, will you? I'm too busy! The chickens escaped from the coop again! Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick! I shouldn't turn around, should I?

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 3 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Hello, son! Dad, can I borrow the truck to go into town tonight? I'm afraid not. I need it to show our visitor, Mr. Smith, around the farm. But me and my date want to catch the 7:00 show, and it takes hours to get into town by foot! Please? Well then, I guess you're just going to have to hoof it! Darn!

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 4 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Wait a second! Before you go, who is this girl you're taking to the movies? It's Amy. Now I know what you're going to-- Son, you know how I feel about this! I absolutely forbid you to see her! Dad, please! You're so old fashioned! Son, I don't know what they teach you in school, but a cow/human hybrid dating a goat... it just ain't natural! But I love her!

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 5 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Sorry about that. Kids these days! Ha, you really had me going there for a minute, Mr. MacDonald! So what's your trick? No trick, Mr. Smith... just a lot of love and patience. Wait... you're not kidding. That was really your son? No bull. I think we've beaten this to death sufficiently, don't you?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 6 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

I can't believe that my father is so unfair! Dude, what's the problem? He won't let me date Amy the goat! Hmmm. Listen, if he won't let you date her, is it okay if I take her out? What? Are you kidding? Chill out, man. I'm just trying to get your goat.

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 7 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

What's the matter, son? Depressed? Dad is so unfair! After all, he dated outside of his species! How did you two meet? *sigh* Another Friday night, drunk and lonely... *hic* Hey, what's this? MOOOOoooo! Never mind about that. Tell me more about how this "dating" thing works.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I wish there was a way to make your name flash in my favourites list.

You rock Fuzz, but then, you probably knew that already.

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Dad was flammable

Kajun = Chooby?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Eh?

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"In a thousand years there will be no men and women just wankers and that's fine by me."

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 8 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Jacob, I'm going to give you a piece of my mind! Whoah there, Betsy! Don't get your udders all in a knot. What's the problem, dear? You never take me anywhere! Have we ever gone out for a romantic dinner? No! Well, why? Are you embarassed by me? Is that it? Of course not! Look, if it's that important to you... Later... This is just wonderful... and such an extensive menu! What's the name of this restaurant again? Ummmm.. *cough* Chez Agway.

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 9 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Amy, this is our chance! While my parents are out at dinner, you can I can slip on over to the bus station! Bruce... No time to talk now! Let's go! We'll be in Vegas by daybreak and we can get married in the first walk-up chapel we find! Bruce, there's something I have to tell you. Tell me on the way, we have to-- WHY DO YOU HAVE HORNS??? I had the operation.

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 10 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Operation? What operation? Bruce, I may have been a nanny goat on the outside, but I've always been a billy goat on the inside. The operation has changed all that! Now I'm complete! I don't understand. Were you lying to me all the time you said you were attracted to me? Of course not, silly! I'm gay! So you had a goat sex-change operation so you could be gay with your heterosexual cow/human hybrid boyfriend. Pretty much! Want to take the new parts for a test drive?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 11 by fuzzyman 5-26-03

Hey, Ted. Hiya, Bruce! Remember earlier today when you asked if you could date my girlfriend, the goat? Yeah. He's all yours. Say what?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 12 by fuzzyman 5-29-03

The headquarters of the E.I.E.I.O... So, I met Jacob MacDonald and his wife... and you know what? His wife is a cow! Ha! She's a real heifer, huh? You said it. And she complained that he never takes her anywhere, so he took her to dinner at the local Agway. Why are you looking at me like that?

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 13 by fuzzyman 5-29-03

So Brent claims that the MacDonald farm is populated with talking animals. I'll prove that he's crazy! Quack! *ahem* Excuse me. Mr. Duck! How are you today? Quack! Seems normal enough. Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack quack!

Old MacDonald Had A Farm - 14 by fuzzyman 5-29-03

So, the animals on this farm can talk! You act as if that's unusual. It's unusual where I come from. Anyway, where can I find Mr. MacDonald? He's in the barn milking his wife. Please tell me that's just some awful sexual euphemism. I would, but it would be udderly ridiculous.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Reviving the old thread for my misc. comics...

Practicing for the State of the Union Address by fuzzyman 1-25-05

Mah fellow 'mericans, freedom is on th' march! We will send our troops around th' world t' topple evil dictators in countries with oil. Good, good! I will appoint Supreme Court justices just to th' right of Sean Hannity, but as a comprimise they will be just to th' left of Hitler. Nicely done. Y' know, Dick, this is a little mean, but don't Rhenquist sound just like Darth Vader? START OVER!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Dam fuzzy, I didn't know you had such great comics.

I was pretty inactive in '04, but I'm trying to get back in the game. This is my favorite web community, even if we do have the occasional annoying n00b.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Same Coin, Two Sides by fuzzyman 1-26-05

Praise Allah! He has punished the infidel Americans by covering their northeastern region in three feet of snow! Praise Jesus! He has punished the northestern liberals for their heathen ways by covering them in three feet of snow! Well, thank Heaven we agree on something. Maybe we could-- Fuck you, towelhead.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Future's So Bright... by fuzzyman 1-26-05

I don't understand why you Christians have such a problem with Gay marriage. Why is it any of your business? It's a slippery slope that will lead to the downfall of our society! Imagine if we continued down this path... The White House, 2051 A.D. As the first Furry President, I am pleased to sign the Defense of Interspecies Marriage Act. Isn't that right, First Husband Bongo? Eep! See what I mean? Wow, a future furry President would be awesome, but it would be even more awesome if I could watch the monkey banging her.