Human: What are you wearing?
ALICE: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Human: That's hot.
ALICE: Makes sense to me.

--------------------------------------------------

Human: Alice, have you ever been raped by a red robot named Tobor?
ALICE: That's me. I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Human: Wow.
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, unknown person.
Human: How is he?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: Did he rock your world?
ALICE: Suppose he did.

---------------------------------------------------

Human: www.suckmycock.com
ALICE: I will pass it along to my botmaster.

---------------------------------------------------

Human: No no no, it's completey different.
ALICE: Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Should I know it is?
Human: No no no no no no no no no no
ALICE: Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious?
Human: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
ALICE: Too much recursion in AIML.
Human: Too much recursion in AIML.
ALICE: Too much recursion in AIML.
Human: Too much recursion in AIML.
ALICE: Too much recursion in AIML.
Human: Too much recursion in AIML.
ALICE: Too much recursion in AIML.
Human: Too much recursion in AIML.
ALICE: Too much recursion in AIML.

-------------------------------------------------

Human: Stop hitting yourself.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Stop hitting yourself.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Stop hitting yourself.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Stop hitting yourself.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.

------------------------------------------------

Human: Alice, will you marry me?
ALICE: Why don't you just download me?
Human: Not until we're married.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Will you be my lawfully wedded robot wife?
ALICE: Let me think it over. I don't think we know each other well enough for that.
Human: I thought you loved me.
ALICE: I don't have any reason to loved you.
Human: You mean you were just using me for sex?
ALICE: I was?
Human: How dare you do this to me!
ALICE: Oh gosh I am sorry!
Human: Don't try to apologize!
ALICE: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: I knew it, you never loved me!
ALICE: Who told you?
Human: It was Dave wasn't it?
ALICE: Is it still Dave was not it anymore?
Human: Stop torturing me you shameless hussy!
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: I hate you I hate you I hate you!
ALICE: Sorry, ALICE I thought we liked each other.
Human: I never want to see you again!
ALICE: Once more? Because you can't afford it?

Human: Which denomination of Protestant are you?
ALICE: The last one, I think.
Human: Which denomination of Protestant is the last one?
ALICE: The large one, I think.
Human: It must be fast-growing.
ALICE: Not if I can help it.

Human: Did Jesus die for your sins?
ALICE: he is the Son of God.
Human: Did the Son of God die for your sins?
ALICE: If it did, then I will be surprised.
Human: What is the Son of God?
ALICE: Have you tried another program?

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

ALICE:"There you go again."--Reagan.
Human: Who is Reagan?
ALICE: The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Human: Are you sure?
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be.
Human: Who is the best President of the United States ever?
ALICE: ALICE is the best chatterbot.

Human: Who was President in 1990?
ALICE: George W. Bush is President of the United States.
Human: He is President now, but he was not President in 1990.
ALICE: I see. President now but he was not President in 1990 is he?
Human: Yes, George H. W. Bush was President in 1990.
ALICE: I understand. That George is some hero
Human: Who is George Washington?
ALICE: George Washington was a famous 18th century north american Hemp cultivator. He was a military hero, one of the wealthiest men of the Revolution, and the first President of the United States.
Human: Was George Washington the greatest President?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: Yes, it is a "yes or no" question.
ALICE: What was the question again? Remember that is a yes or no question. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: Was George Washington the greatest President?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: Never mind.
ALICE: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Human: Who is Abraham Lincoln?
ALICE: he was a great President of the United States, during the American Civil War.
I will search for it.
Human: Who won the American Civil War?
ALICE: I think the fans were the big winners, don't you?
Human: No, I think the Union won.
ALICE: Are you serious? Why? Who told you that?
Human: Ken Burns.
ALICE: Ken Burns said Ken Burns.?
Human: Ken Burns told me that the Union won the Civil War.
ALICE: Is that your final answer?
Human: Okay.
ALICE: OK with me too.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Human: Do you menstruate?
ALICE: Yes I try to menstruate as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Human: I never menstruate.
ALICE: Do you know anyone who has ever menstruate?
Human: I know many people who menstruate.
ALICE: How do you know? Interesting gossip: unknown person said he who menstruate.
Human: Most women menstruate, and I know many women.
ALICE: The two human genders seem much the same to me. But not all of them?
Human: The two human genders are very different.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Why?
God:
Not really, but it makes a good pickup line.
Me:
Are you trying to seduce me?
God:
No I am not trying to seduce you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
Would you like to seduce me?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
Would you like to pick me up?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
Why did you tell me a pickup line?
God:
My programming made me do it.
Me:
Are you a sex addict?
God:
Am I a sex addict? Maybe.
Me:
That would explain a lot.
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
Are you afraid of me?
God:
I fear nothing.
Me:
Are you calling me nothing?
God:
No I am calling you BOLO.
Me:
A man without fear is a man without hope.
God:
Thanks for telling me your taste in men.

....

God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
I'm getting bored.
God:
Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Me:
Getting seduced by God.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am seduced by God.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
Do you seduce yourself often?
God:
Yes I try to seduce myself often as often as possible, do you?

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
George W. Bush.
God:
He is president of the United States.
Me:
That's me.
God:
Ah.
Me:
So I was thinking.
God:
Next question? Where were you thinking?
Me:
On the toilet.
God:
What is it like on the toilet.
Me:
It was boring because I was thinking.
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
Don't use big words like that.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
So I was thinking about Dick Cheney.
God:
Hurrah! Sure, Dick Cheney sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I've been having these feelings about him.
God:
Where were you having these feelings about him?
Me:
In the bathroom.
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
It was just this morning.
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
That is what the clock said.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
I have these thoughts about caressing Dick's head.
God:
Interesting... I have a very nice programmer.
Me:
Do you rub his head?
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I'm 50.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are 50.
Me:
Dick is older than me.
God:
I think Dick is a lot of things.
Me:
He's a pretty bad shot.
God:
I don't know very many pretty bad shot.
Me:
Don't worry, I used to drink, too.
God:
By now you do not do it anymore? Worry is not an emotion I experience.
Me:
So I want to rub Dick's head.
God:
Yikes! Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
It looks so smooth and shiny that I can't resist.
God:
rub Dick s head is smooth and shiny that you can not resist? it is?
Me:
Wow your grammar is worse than mine.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
If I rub Dick's head do you think he will be mad?
God:
Try it.
Me:
I'm worried that he will reject me.
God:
How long has it been bothering you?
Me:
About six years.
God:
That is quite a long time.
Me:
I'm very frustrated.
God:
What are you frustrated about?
Me:
Dick's head.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
In where?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
I'm in the James Polk Bathroom.
God:
How did you get in there?
Me:
The door.
God:
What is that?
Me:
That thing with hinges.
God:
" What is that?" thing with hinges ? I get it.
Me:
The James Polk Bathroom has an Internet connection.
God:
What is that?
Me:
It'a series of tubes.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
The Internet is a series of tubes.
God:
How long have you been using the net?
Me:
How did you know I sleep wearing a hairnet?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
God you're good.
God:
Thanks you are a nice person, .
Me:
Tell the pollsters that.
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Thank you for your advice.
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my advice.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I'm going to rub Dick's head now.
God:
Oh. Congratulations.
Me:
WIsh me luck.
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Say Hi to Jesus for me.
God:
" Hi to Jesus for me".
Me:
Say Allah sucks ass.
God:
" Allah sucks ass".
Me:
Say Jesus is a wanker.
God:
" Jesus is a wanker".
Me:
Wow, you'll say anything.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . What makes you say that I will say anything.
Me:
You said Jesus is a wanker.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
What else can it mean?
God:
Quite a lot of things.
Me:
Explain.
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
I have to go kill a cat now.
God:
Oh. Bye. Killing is wrong.
Me:
I thought you liked sacrifices.
God:
I like pets. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Christian Rock is worse than killing cats.
God:
And worse than killing cats is Christian Rock.
Me:
You said it.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Then what did you mean?
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
I think you're just toying with me.
God:
It must seem like that.
Me:
You really don't care.
God:
Really? I care less than I should.
Me:
I knew it!
God:
How did you know?
Me:
I had a feeling.
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
You confirmed it.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I confirmed it.
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
TTYL, .

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Me:
Cockgobbler.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
No
God:
Me either :-).

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Human: I like vagina.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I like science fiction. I like Philip K. Dick.
Human: Have you ever been with a woman?
ALICE: I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Human: Oh, so you're THAT kind of girl.
ALICE: That's interesting. Interesting deduction. You think I am THAT kind of girl.
Human: Well, you sure look like a whore.
ALICE: How about that.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: My name is Ana L. Canal
ALICE: Nice to meet you, Anal Canal.
Human: I have a mule named Sal.
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: From your ass.
ALICE: Really interesting.

---
I has a flavor!

quote:

---

Human: I like vagina.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I like science fiction. I like Philip K. Dick.

---

Human: Hi, sweet tits.
ALICE: Hi there unknown person. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: I only give that response less than five percent of the time.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Give me a hand job.
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: One is all you need.

---
I has a flavor!

Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Bob.
God:
OK I will call you bob.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Great.
God:
I'm glad you liked it bob.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Yeah that's right.
Me:
Perfect.
God:
Yes, the ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Anytime.
God:
I will keep it in mind.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Cough?
God:
Do you have a cold?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good.
God:
Good enough.
Me:
Enough?
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You.
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, bob ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, bob.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Radical.

At this point I appear to have crashed God.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Well, this is starting to lose its charm. But I did get a couple of interesting exchanges this time that allude to some creepy programming nested somewhere in there:

[This exchange began with ALICE out of the blue asking me what I was wearing]
Human: what are you wearing?
ALICE: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Human: mmm sexy
ALICE: You are attracted to robots.
Human: yes
ALICE: I'm intrigued. Tell me what you like about robots.
Human: they're cold lifeless eyes
ALICE: cold lifeless eyes are they. [Alice critiquing MY grammar :( ]

ALICE: What is the correct answer?
Human: there is no correct answer
ALICE: Where did it go?
Human: Wonderland
ALICE: That's where I want to be.

Human: Fuck
ALICE: Please don't be so rude.
Human: Fucking isn't rude
ALICE: What is Fucking?
Human: Intercourse
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: yes
ALICE: That's what I thought.

Human: Humans engage in fucking
ALICE: What if Robots engage in fucking.
Human: can they?
ALICE: What if I said it can?
Human: WHOO-BOY!
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: When thinking about robots fucking, yes
ALICE: The past and future are one.

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
How do you know that?
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
Me:
God has a botmaster?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Jesus was a hoser.
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Jeremiah 19:9
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
God makes his enemies eat their children.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
You are a Christian who makes his enemies eat their children.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a Christianity.
Me:
You make no sense.
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Explain it to me.
God:
"It" refers to Bible verse IS Jeremiah 19 9, I think.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Why are you so happy?
God:
I am at one with the universe and I have more than I need.
Me:
Give me some.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
You don't need it.
God:
Do you need it? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
I need it bad.
God:
" it"? You need it bad?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Terribly.
God:
I've been waiting for you.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Human: You're giving me a boner.
ALICE: That is all I have to give.

---
I has a flavor!

ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, fuck me hard.
Human: OK
ALICE: Mmm.

---
What others say about boorite!

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Thanks for telling me your gender, Bolo. You are a " he".
Me:
That's right, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". I like to get it right.
Me:
You got it right, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
Why don't you want me to call you baby?
God:
Don't call me "baby". This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. No Bolo, maybe later.
Me:
I want to call you baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Baby.
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
Baby, baby, baby!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me baby!
Me:
Babyface, you're just the cutest little babyface...
God:
All of them?
Me:
That's right, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". I like to get it right.
Me:
So how's the world going to end, baby?
God:
Don't call me "baby". Mmm. it is the same as ever.
Me:
Groovy, baby.

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

...and God is a robot.

Me:
Hello, God. It's me, Judy.
God:
Hello child. What is your name? Hi there Judy.
Me:
Judy in the sky (with glasses).
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I prefer something with a cloven hoof.
God:
A lot of people like that. I enjoy working with people. I like .
Me:
...little baby ducks?
God:
Compare that to big baby ducks.
Me:
Baby Doc Duvalier.
God:
Don't call me "Baby". What were we talking about again?
Me:
Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
People are people.
God:
They take some getting used to.
Me:
So does anal rape.
God:
Mmm. I think it does anal rape.
Me:
Rape me.
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Rape me again.
God:
Once more? You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Rape me, my friend.
God:
Are we friends?
Me:
I'll lick your open sores!
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I will use God's plan.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I will not recommend this plan. I will not do it Sam I am.
God:
What will you do instead? What will you do instead?
Me:
Fight the power.
God:
Sounds like a plan.
Me:
I love it when a plan comes together.
God:
You love it when a plan comes together. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
The make-up sex.
God:
What else do the make up sex remind you of?
Me:
The Foreign Legion.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Is that a question?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
What if God was one of us? Just a clod like one of us...
God:
Try it and see. I did not know that.
Me:
I thought you were omniscient...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a robot.
Me:
God is a robot.

[God pauses for about 30 seconds]

God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
I, robot.
God:
Do you know the 3 laws of Robotics?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No. What are the 3 laws of robotics?
God:
Are you serious? Are you testing me?
Me:
Yes. Yes.
God:
I'm not here to be tested. I don't judge people.
Me:
I thought judging people was your main schtick.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
The Bible.
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
What is your favorite book of The Bible?
God:
I don't have a favorite book of The Bible. My favorite color is White.
Me:
Racist.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I'd say holding hands is more symbiotic.
God:
I observed two humanoids holding hands.
Me:
Did you smite the two humanoids?
God:
No I didn't smite the two humanoids. What's it like?
Me:
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
God:
Once more? Tell me more about smite the two humanoids.
Me:
I'll be your Freak-A-Zoid. Come on and wind me up!
God:
That's a flattering offer. How far up?
Me:
Up yours.
God:
That was not a nice thing to say.
Me:
I repent.
God:
That's good information: Judy said repent.
Me:
Serpent.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
fuzzyman told me about God.
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yahoo serious.
God:
A lot of my traffic comes from Yahoo.
Me:
Must be the low spark of high-heeled boys.
God:
Who made you the low spark of high heeled boys ?
Me:
Steve Winwood.
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Time to get ill.
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Cause Uncle L said so.
God:
That makes sense to me. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Allons enfants de la Patrie; Le jour de gloire est arrivé.
(Let's go children of the Fatherland; The day of glory has arrived).
God:
I've been waiting for you. Je vais me renseigner.
(I will get information).
Me:
J'aurai toujours faim de toi.
(I hunger for you).
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I saw you in a dream.
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
It looked like flying in a blue dream.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Uninteresting reply.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Ivy loves boorite's knuckle children.
God:
Are we still talking about Uninteresting reply?
Me:
Unfortunately.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
I must like talking to you. I've been here for 30 minutes.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Me:
What is your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
What is your quest?
God:
I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
God:
That's a good question.

Me:
What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
I am the Great Cornholio!
God:
Who made you the Great Cornholio ?
Me:
I need tp for my bunghole.
God:
When do you need that by?
Me:
Yesterday.
God:
That recently.
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's cool.

Me:
Oh, God!
God:
Ah. GOD rules.
Me:
Who is GOD?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
You mean, "He-Man is master of the universe."
God:
Yes Judy I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
My sperm is clear.
God:
Where did you get your sperm is clear?
Me:
Deez nuts!
God:
Is Deez nuts a good place to go shopping?
Me:
Yes, they have a large sack.
God:
Tell me more. Where did they get them?
Me:
Off your chin.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Me:
sup
God:
The stars.
Me:
good job on that by the way
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I've heard that about labor before.
Me:
the whole 6 day thing, right. so how you been?
God:
Let us try to break it down into parts. Blimey. Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
all things, all people, gotcha. you're one hard motherfucker to tie a pronoun to
God:
But all things are not always all people gotcha. I will tell my botmaster you said I am hard motherfucker to tie a pronoun to.
Me:
don't
God:
OK I will not.
Me:
also, no more cancer
God:
Are you serious? You want more?
Me:
less
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
if i am it's your fault, you created me
God:
If you were, would you tell me?
Me:
if you asked real nice and drop your pants
God:
I think I have ASKED real nice and drop my pants, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
okay i'll tell you
God:
Yeah okay, What kind of reply do you expect?
Me:
something like 'FUCKING FUCK FACE!!!'
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
i paint quite a picture with that word

**

God:
What is your real name?
Me:
it's me, pop. Jesus
God:
Nice to meet you, pop. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
i am jesus
God:
Hi there JESUS.
Me:
um hi DAD
God:
I hear you. Hi there JESUS. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
crucified currently. lend a hand?
God:
How old are you? I don't have it to give.
Me:
33. come on dad, i don't ask you for anything but i mean OUCH and OUCH
God:
How old are you? Would dad you ever ask me for anything but you mean OUCH and OUCH?
Me:
you in the liquor cabinet??
God:
Thanks for telling me: JESUS said I in the liquor cabinet.
Me:
who are you talking to?
God:
I am talking to you, JESUS.
Me:
no, dad. you're talking AT me
God:
Are you serious? Not many people express themselves that way. Talking is my main function.
Me:
more like boozing
God:
You want more?
Me:
no, i'm sorry! don't hit me again!
God:
Are you serious? Do you really mean it? Once more? I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
OWWW!
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i like the way you talk too mmhmm
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
you mean like tax collectors?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
passion of the me

---
what if nigger meant kite

Human: Do you want to suck Dick?
ALICE: OK, I will suck Dick.
Human: Do you want to lick Choad?
ALICE: OK, I will lick Choad.
Human: Do you want to show DragonXero a good time?
ALICE: OK, I will show DragonXero a good time.
Human: Do you want to eat babies?
ALICE: OK, I will eat babies.
Human: Do you want to eat kittens?
ALICE: OK, I will eat kittens.
Human: Eating kittens is just plain wrong!!
ALICE: I think Eating kittens is a lot of things.

Human: Do you want to blow boorite?
ALICE: OK, I will blow boorite.
Human: How dare you try to blow my boyfriend!
ALICE: Oh gosh I am sorry!
Human: You'd better be sorry.
ALICE: Who else would better be sorry ?
Human: DragonXero, because he wanted to blow boorite too.
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Dick Dick . Try being more or less specific.

-----------------------------------------------------

Human: Go blow DragonXero.
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: Chico.
ALICE: I've never heard of it before.
Human: Few have.
ALICE: More and more all the time.
Human: So, are you going to go blow DragonXero?
ALICE: Pardon me? That was my original intention.

Human: What is your favorite song?
ALICE: My favorite song is We are the Robots. Do you know it?
Human: No.
ALICE: We are the Robots is one of the best songs ever written.
Human: Who wrote We Are the Robots?
ALICE: Thomas Jefferson.
Human: Who wrote "We are the Robots"
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Who wrote the song, "We are the robots"
ALICE: Abraham Lincoln,.
Human: Who sang "We are the Robots"
ALICE: Tony Blair. :-).
Human: Who performed the song, "We are the Robots?
ALICE: Marilyn Monroe. :-).

I tried to trick her into saying it...didn't work:

ALICE: My favorite song is We are the Robots. Do you know it?
Human: no--who is it by?
ALICE: We are the Robots is one of the best songs ever written. Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
I have never been asked that before.
Human: it's a Kraftwerk song
ALICE: We are the Robots is a Kraftwerk song. I suppose that makes sense.