26th and 27th May

[Click to view comic: 'Waiting for the Monolingual: Pain in the Arse']

[Click to view comic: 'Waiting for the Monolingual: Pain in the Arse II']

[Click to view comic: 'Waiting for the Monolingual: Pain in the Arse III']

Couldn't find a way to fit this into one comic yesterday, so have made it into three today. Based on a true story, although in reality instead of giving him a lecture in why people who insist on using foreign pronounciations for things that are rapidly becoming anglicised are cunt, in actual fact I just said 'Right..' and put is order through.

I don't have the quickest of minds.

And yes, the title is a slight pun. 'Pain' is french for 'Bread'

These last three were quite excellent.  Applause!  (Applausio?)

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

28/5/09

[Click to view comic: 'Wikipedia Random Article Comic: Becker's Milk']

A jab at progressive rock and a pun in one comic. Wahay!

29/5/09

[Click to view comic: 'Wikipedia Front Page Comic: Manchester S.S.E.M.']

An altogether more marketable idea, I feel, is making jokes from Wikipedia's article of the day rather than clicking the 'random' button. Like this one, for example.

Don't kid yourself about it being a satire of modern home-computer usage. Its funny because a baby mentions porn.

30/5/09

[Click to view comic: 'Wikipedia Front Page Comic: Idlewild and Soak Zone']

I like this one

Idlewild airport was renamed 'John F. Kennedy airport' after his assasination. It stands to reason that they'd do the same with the theme park.

On Wikipedia the "Idlewild and Soak Zone" article was a featured article from early May.

31/5/09

[Click to view comic: 'Grit']

Simple one today. Came from a critique of my cooking.

"Its a bit gritty"

"What, like a crime thriller?"

"...no"

1/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Wikipedia Front Page Comic: Tropical Cyclone']

Huzzah! Its June. I'm away for four days now, so this is the last comic until Friday.

 2nd - 5th June

[Click to view comic: 'On Visiting the Grave of Silvia Plath']

[Click to view comic: 'The Final Moments of David Carridine']

[Click to view comic: 'A Month after the BNP Gain Power in Britain']

[Click to view comic: 'A Month after the BNP Gain Power in Britain II']

[Click to view comic: 'A Month after the BNP Gain Power in Britain III']

[Click to view comic: 'A Month after the BNP Gain Power in Britain IV']

Six comics inspired by four days away from the daily grind, and none of them Wikipedia comics. Not bad going.

For non-Brits, the BNP is the "British National Party" and is the closest we have to a mainstream fascist political party. They want anyone who's 'other' in any way out of the country. Whether that means 'dark people' (in which case anyone with even only one black grandparent can expect to be deported) or 'foreign people' (bye bye Polish plumbers and other people who are building our homes and helping the country out of recession) or both (in which case bye bye, as I have an Irish grandparent and so, by the first rules, I'd be out) is unclear. 

The BNP are cunts. Without exception.

6/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'On Voting']

There were some semi-important local elections in the UK over the last few days. I espoused my idea to people that, because so many parties were full of idiots, the ideal way to vote would be to vote for the ten parties who you absolutely didn'i want to get into power.  

Obviously, changing to that system would create absolute anarchy but then, there aren't any Anarchist political parties, so that'd be their way of voting.

lima

I probably shouldn't admit that your series kind of sold me on them.  I mean, I've heard worse political platforms than "we'll force lazy bigots to work".

Seriously though, good strips. 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

7/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'WRAC: Tomás de Torrejón y Velasco Sanchez']

Another Wikipedia comic, and two very lazy jokes

8/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Watching way too much Tim Vine']

Watched a Tim Vine DVD last night. Giggled for over an hour, then went outside and thought of a few jokes in a Tim Vine vein.

I then came up with the rules to the Tim Vine Drinking Game.

Tim Vine's comedy always raises a chuckle in even the most pretentious of observers, but even so its fairly formulaic. The secret behind a Tim Vine joke is to think of the funniest feed line, rather than the funniest punch-line. This may sound a little strange, but you'll see what I mean with a few examples from the man himself.

"I went shoplifting on the shoulders of some vampires the other day - I was done for burglary on four counts..."

"My mum wants to dig a big hole in the garden and fill it with water - she means well"

"I said to this guy, I said 'Thats a big rock', he said 'Boulder', I said 'THATS A BIIIIIG ROCK'"

"So I said to my doctor I said 'I've got an irrational fear of lapels' - he said 'you've got cholera'...

"So I went to the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Protection against Cruelty to Animals) and their office is absolutely tiny. You can't swing a cat in there..."

"So this butcher said to me 'I bet you can't reach those pieces of beef up there' and I said 'I'm not taking that bet - the steaks are too high...'

You see? The punchlines are just cliches and sayings and such. Its the set-up that is the really interesting part. This is where the drinking game comes from.

Before watching a Tim Vine show, either live or on a DVD you've never seen before, or even one of the wee snippets on YouTube, you and the people you're with think up as many Tim Vine-esque jokes as you can. Its quite easy once you get the hang of it. I thought of another one last night:

"So my son starts yelling about how he wants to be a smurf - I said 'you can scream 'til your blue in the face...'

The rules of the drinking game are thus: Every time Mr. Vine uses one of your punchlines that you thought of, you have a shot. If he uses the your punchline AND your feedline, you have a much larger, more lethal shot. This can be used in line with regular drinking-game rules. I'd suggest a shot every time he says "Come on!", every time he says "So I sais to this bloke..", every time he teases the audience about how long his set is going to be, and every time he leans on his mic stand.

The last one may put you in hospital.

9/6/09

[Click to view comic: ''Jaxx'']

Someone asked me if my apartment had an attic today. I answered that yes, it does, but someone else lives there. I also thought of this pun, which isn't very good.

Basement Jaxx are a British (i think) dance group. They're not as bad as this joke. 

10/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'If I Turku 'bout this long enough Helsinki's gone mad']

Thats today's joke Finnished. The first bit came up from a conversation about a friend's Finnish boyfriend. I ran with it for the rest of the comic.

 11/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Er..']

Didn't have time to post this yesterday. I'd spent all my spare time writing it.

All nine seconds of it.

12/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Narcolepsy']

Another Tim Vine-esque joke; taking an over-used phrase and giving it a quick burst of meaning.

Here's one for the Tim Vine Drinking Contest:

[Click to view comic: 'Tie One On']

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Cheers Namgubed. I'm going to make a list of these for if Mr. Vine is playing at Edinburgh Festival (and I go and see him, obviously)

13/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Wikipedia Front Page Comic: Sei Whale']

Hackneyed joke format with an obvious last panel, but I like the 'harpoon' bit, because in my mind the word is interchangeable with 'lampoon' when dealing with satire. Look. The last three letters are the same.

14th and 15th June

[Click to view comic: 'Wherever I May Rome']

[Click to view comic: 'Wherever I May Rome II']

Rome puns.

By forgetting to post yesterday I missed the ability to mention that it is now two months since I began the Comic-A-Day experiment.

So far its 76 comics in 61 days. I could, technically, afford to take two weeks off and still be on a record of a comic a day, but that wouldn't be in keeping with the spirit of the thing.

Thanks for everyone's feedback so far, and here's to the next two months.

16/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Red Cliff']

Saw Red Cliff today. If you like films like Hero and Flying Dagger then don't bother going to see it, unless you enjoyed Troy but wanted to see it with better actors.

17/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'The Council']

Based on a story which is true, happened a few hours ago and is difficult to talk about without getting a good friend in trouble

18/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'Wikipedia Front Page Comic: Euclidean Algorithm']

I like this one, although its along the same lines as Thought Process Map and it needs more work on the final panel. I'm sure there's a better way do deliver the HIV joke.

lima

I was reading the first panel and going "Damn, I'm really boring."

Sorry.

19th and 20th June

[Click to view comic: 'Haemoglobyn']

[Click to view comic: 'Language']

Yesterdays comic was late due to unforseen drunkenness. 

Todays efforts are another joke in the Tim Vine mould, and a nice sick one based on an alcohol-fueled conversation last night.

21/6/09

[Click to view comic: 'A Thought']

Thats right isn't it? As 'Terra' means 'Earth', the name 'Termite' more or less means 'Mite of the Earth'. A mite of Mars would be a Marmite, surely?