Okay, I couldn't leave well enough alone, and I felt there were some loose ends that needed to be resolved.
[Click to view comic: 'Gasp!']
[Click to view comic: 'Asses to Asses']
[Click to view comic: 'Denouement']

That series was pretty funny. For multiple reasons even! nice.

---
Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

1/2. Where are you from?
Born in Montana, raised in Louisiana. Go figure
1. What are you reading right now?
re-reading Ayn Rand "The Fountainhead"
2. What are you listening to now/ what was the last CD you bought?
The soothing hum of my cpu fan. Last CD Bought? Portishead "Dummy" - but would rather listen to a nice 180g vinyl any day
3. What did you study in school/ are you studying in school?
BA - Public Relations, minor in Marketing
4. Who would play you in the movie of your life and who would play your love interest?
Me - Probably Will Farrell or Adam Sandler. My wife would be played by anyone willing to be shown as the wife of Will Farrell or Adam Sandler
5. Have you got any pets?
2 dogs - Jake and Elwood
6. Where would you like to visit that you haven't yet?
Australia, Ireland, Drive the Autobahn in Germany
7. How'd you get to this site?
Friend sent me the link
8. What was your first band you saw live?
Alice Cooper
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I'm nearly 40 and still don't know. Lawyer, teacher, entrepreneur, world champion Pringle's eater
10. If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
Real Louisiana gumbo, with lots of hot sauce, corn bread, and a dozen ice cold beers
11. What's the origin of your screen name?
I honestly have no idea. I was looking for two words that should not go together. Somehow this came into my brain
12. The best concert i've been too:
Pink Floyd at Oakland Coliseum.
13. References from childhood:
Lite Brite, the original GI Joes, riding bikes without helmets, falling out of a neighbor's tree without a lawsuit ensuing.
14. What inspires your comics? My job (see More Corporate BS parts 1-16), and I am told that there is just "something wrong about me"
15. What size shirt do you wear?
It says "L" on it.
16. Want to play the bisquit game?
Can I be the butter?
17. Favorite movie?
Almost impossible to narrow down to one. Office Space, The Big Lebowski, Repo Man, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Rumble Fish, Glengary Glenn Ross, I can go on, but won't

---
There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

I always get hungry when I read people's last meal. And Phreaky, damn my eyes but we love Olive Garden too.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Mmyres is right, we must keep it going forever!

The best concert I've been too: I have only been to 1 concert. The coolest was at the talent show when me and my band played and I accidentally said shit into the microphone because I messed up on a line. The worst part is it was a school talent show at a church!

References from childhood: Spider-Man
Power Rangers(original), Atari, and Peter Pan

What inspires your comics? I think of a joke then try to fill in the space between the joke and the 2 strips before it.
What size shirt do you wear? Medium

Want to play the bisquit game? Let me ask my magic 8-ball. That's odd, it says "Kill yourself".

Favorite movie? Way Of The Gun, Anything with Jay and Silent Bob, and Kung Fu Movies.

---
"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Best Concert: I will rant and rave about Phish concerts to no end, but to be completely serious, the best show I've ever been to was Gomez. Small british band who rock really really really hard. Yeah, so hard that I didn't put commas in that series.

I cant' remember what the other questions are, so I'll stop here.

Go here to check out Gomez.

---
Sex Piano.

quote:

---

. Yeah, so hard that I didn't put commas in that series.

---

I just downloaded a bunch of Gomez last night...gonna listen to it now. I missed them at Coachella because they were on at the same time as the Beasties (whom I love), so I'm finally getting around to checking them out.

If you're going to download Gomez, can I also recommend the Beta Band?

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

Back to business...

1/2. Where are you from?
Born in South Carolina. Currently live in Knoxville, TN, USA.

1. What are you reading right now?
Just started "Duluth" by Gore Vidal. Just finished "Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive Scrabble Players" by Stefan Fatsis.

2. What are you listening to now/what was the last CD you bought?I've been listening to the three CDs I bought yesterday: Metallica's "St. Anger" (very disappointing--will be returned), Radiohead "Hail To The Thief" (very good so far), Mulligan/Monk "Gerry Mulligan Meets Thelonious Monk" (one of those cool jazz discs where they throw two stars together--this one's from 1957).

3. What did you study in school?The first time I studied Communications and was a DJ for UTK's station. The second time Education until I discovered I disliked the politics of the NEA. The third time I earned my BA in English with a concentration in Technical Writing.

4. Who would play you in the movie of your life and who would play your love interest?Some people say I look like Garth Brooks, and I liked the way he played an Old French Whore on SNL, so he'll work. My wife could be played by a buxom redhead--maybe Sara Rue from ABC's "Less Than Perfect."

5. Have you got any pets?No--wife is allergic.

6. Where would you like to visit that you haven't yet?
Australia or France.

7. How'd you get to this site?I think from the PRESURFER or another comic-making site that I can't remember the name of....

8. What was your first band you saw live?I went to see the Southern Rock band BLACKFOOT with my Mom and Dad when I was about 8. Excellent show. DL "Train Train" "Wishing Well" or "Highway Song" if interested.

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?I'm the Art Director for a local manufacturing company. I also do contract TechWriting/Editing.

10. If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?French Toast, a nice salad, two slices of Original Louie's pepperoni pizza from NYC, my Mom's potato soup with crumbled bacon, a nicely grilled Halibut (not dry) atop cheese grits with a side of steamed asparagus, and bread pudding for dessert. Plus chocolate milk, sweet iced tea, and a Long Island Tea to wash it all down.

11. What's the origin of your screen name?It's a term of respect used when speaking to a preacher or teacher used in the Alan Paton novel "Cry The Beloved Country." Pronounced "oom-foom-deez."

12. What TV references signal your age?Pre-Elmo "Sesame Street," "Dukes of Hazzard," "A-Team," and the cartoon "G-Force"--I loved that show.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

quote:

---

I went to see the Southern Rock band BLACKFOOT with my Mom and Dad when I was about 8. Excellent show. DL "Train Train" "Wishing Well" or "Highway Song" if interested.

---

Wow. FREE.

I forgot about them.

My dad played in a band in HS. He had a bunch of 70s rock albums by Robin Trower, Neil Young, KISS, Sweet, Focus, CCR, LedZep, Genesis, Marshall Tucker Band, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Skynyrd, Blackfoot and others.

Good basis for a musical education. Thanks, Dad.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

quote:

---

11. What's the origin of your screen name?It's a term of respect used when speaking to a preacher or teacher used in the Alan Paton novel "Cry The Beloved Country." Pronounced "oom-foom-deez."

---

quote:

---

1/2. Where are you from?
Born in South Carolina. Currently live in Knoxville, TN, USA.

---

They're still tearing up the roads in Knoxville? Jesus, it was bad when I was living there back in '94. I would have hoped that they would have straightened that all out by now.

---
If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

Too late, Jes, I'm already a big Beta Band fan.

12. The best concert i've been too:
Haven't been to it yet.
13. References from childhood:
slap bracelets, pre ripped jeans, MC hammer pants, the original nintendo game system, my little pony, care bears, punky brewster...
14. What inspires your comics? My life and random ideas that pop in my head here and again.
15. What size shirt do you wear?
Medium to large, depending on brand/style and if there's an empire waist or something that requires you to wear a damned B cup or smaller to fit your boobs in it.
16. Want to play the bisquit game?
I'm not sure I'm qualified. And even if I am, no.
17. Favorite movie?
"A Walk to Remember"
"Footloose"
"Frank And Jesse"
Feel free to laugh.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

12. The best concert i've been too:
Nothing stands out, at the moment.
13. References from childhood:
Kenndy and King assasinations, slam books, Motown, AM radio, Etch-a-Sketch, Bonanza, black and white TV, Colecovision Pong, hitchiking, head shops, sneaking smokes in the school john, Zorro, American Bandstand, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Houlihan and Big Chuck, pizza joints, greasers, 45's, going steady.
14. What inspires your comics?
Every day life and my hopefully imaginative take on the stupid things we all to to each other and ourselves.
15. What size shirt do you wear?
XL. For a formal shirt,, I thnk a 35" sleeve and a 17" neck.
16. Want to play the bisquit game?
Nope.
17. Favorite movie?
Pink Floyd The Wall

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

12. The best concert i've been too:
10/9/89 -- "Formerly the Warlocks" at Hampton.
13. References from childhood:
The Monkees & Batman & Rowan & Martin on TV, Gemini and Apollo and Walter Cronkite, The Beatles and The Year 2525 and Joy to the World and American Pie, The Great Blackout, Vietnam and Hippies, Mantle and Munson and Murcer and fucking Horace Clarke, The Ice Storm, the Energy Crisis.
14. What inspires your comics?
Sheesh, I don't know. I see something, tie an old joke to it and recycle. Or just get an idea. Your contest suggestions go a long way.
15. What size shirt do you wear?
XL.
16. Want to play the bisquit game?
No.
17. Favorite movie?
Didn't we have this topic a while back? I still have a soft spot for Ruthless People.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

12. The best concert i've been to:
Paul Westerberg August 96
13. References from childhood:
Atari 2600, Matchbox cars, The A-Team, The Smurfs, Silver Spoons, E.T.
14. What inspires your comics?
Dirty words and political philosophy.
15. What size shirt do you wear?
Large. X-tra large if I want to hide my man boobs.
16. Want to play the bisquit game?
Is that a penis metaphor?
17. Favorite movie?
"Heathers"

---
I has a flavor!

Knoxville Traffic Jams

K-Town suffers from a serious case of the sprawl. The East is growing slowly. West tentacle keeps reaching out. South is bounded by the TN river. North is growing, but not as fast as West. The "Knoxville By-Pass" drops you in the middle of nowhere between downtown and the Westward expansion. I-81 feeds into I-40 30 miles east of KnoxVegas. I-75 merges with I-40 on the east side and doesn't diverge until the far west side. These roads bring a LOT of extra traffic.

TDOT is building a new frontage road to take some of the stress off the other (and only) main road running E/W--Kingston Pike. Also, a new by-pass for I-75 has been proposed.

With that and the addition of extra lanes, you MIGHT be able to drive through Knoxville without delay sometime in 2010. We look forward to your visit.

12. The best concert I've been to:
(tie) (1) Metallica's "Justice" tour with Suicidal Tendencies opening. My buddies and I thrashed on the floor all night long. At certain points during the show, you could lift your feet off the floor and not fall down because of the crush of bodies. (2) Medeski Martin & Wood (around 93-94) in a small venue downtown K-Town. Amazing energy and vibe that night.

13. References from childhood:
I sorta did this one, but I'll add the arcade game "Kung-Fu Master," the 1982 World's Fair, and the first cassette (what's that?) I bought with my own money--Prince's "Around The World In A Day"--which I still have and listen to.

14. What inspires your comics?
Whatever catches hold in this dome of mine, CCs, and, occasionally, other SCers like TheGovernor.

15. What size shirt do you wear? XL

16. Want to play the bisquit game?
I have to admit that I have no idea what is this "Biscuit Game" of which you speak, but I will politely decline as I'm sure none of you would like to play the "assface" game either.

17. Favorite movie?
That's tough, but I'll stop what I'm doing almost anytime to watch "The Blues Brothers" even though I've seen it 1,000 times (thank you, Ted Turner). And most movies these days are shit, but I really enjoyed "Adaptation."

Here's my addition...
18. Who is your favorite comedian?
George Carlin.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

18. Who is your favorite comedian
Dane Cook or Brent Butte.

---
:\

18. Who is your favorite comedian
Eddie Izzard.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

18. Who is your favorite comedian?
Bill Hicks.

---
I has a flavor!

18. Favorite comedian:
Chris Rock (or maybe Steven Wright)

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.