Getting a 98% S/M pure rating didn't surprise me. If anybody wanted to use a whip or a chain on me during sex, they would first have to make certain that the necessary funds to have a whip or chain surgically removed from their spleen via their ass were available at a moment's notice.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

As far as losing your virginity goes, I don't think inflatable girlfriends count.

Drawing a pair of eyes on your hand doesn't score you a blow job, either.

...but I'll let you have your dreams.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

That just ruined his plans DexX! How could you be so mean?

Unknown News had a couple good ones today:

http://www.crazymedia.org/juligen_santashooter.htm

http://turdtwister.com/index.php

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

drelx you must have red my post wrong, my girl freind isnt inflateable. your geting mixed up with youre girl freind.

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sex

Do you love America?

This article from one of my favorite news sources got my heart pumping.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

http://legalize.icelord.net/handbook/map.php

Happy Holidays!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I thought that the majority of the test questions were written with subs in mind. I got a 87% BDSM Purity Rating and a Uniqueness Factor of 29%. I felt I could have gotten a higher score if the language was more inclusive. More of the questions should have been of the "Have you flogged or been flogged..." variety. Whereas the question "Have you been gagged?" should have been stated "Have you been gagged or placed a gag on another person?". By using a looser interpretation of the question I jumped up to a whopping 74% BDSM Purity Rating and a Uniqueness Factor of 31%.

OK, that's still not a great score. But it has been more than a few years since I had a BDSM-friendly partner. Not exactly easy to find in my neck of the bible belt. I would have to go at least 100 miles to a big city to find an active BDSM community. That's not a big hardship but I'm just a little too lazy to go to the effort.

And if that wasn't enough, my current gf has some strong issues involving power exchange such that certain positions (like doggy-style) or certain language she finds personally demeaning and they turn her off.

Aw screw it, nobody likes a whiny dom who is too lazy to get off his ass and fix things.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

have any one done the sex test at the spark.com www.thespark.com/mp_sextest. acordin to this i will have 9 sexal partner's!! i am a love-god!!

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sex

Sex test? I don't need no steenkin' sex test!

I am the epitomy of sex! *flashes everyone and runs*

My god, this is the first time I've looked at this thread since it had three posts. I must have heard the call of the fuck.

I wonder what that sounds like...

on second thought, I don't wanna know.

quote:

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I wonder what that sounds like...

on second thought, I don't wanna know.

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http://www.geocities.com/trebor_92627/Bush.htm

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Here are some of the funniest euphemisms for female masturbation I've ever seen.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

My favourites:

"Buttering up the whisker biscuit,
Impeaching Bush,
Menage a'moi."

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Dad was flammable

You answered "yes" to 9 of 100 questions, making you 91.0% BDSM pure (9.0% BDSM corrupt); that is, you are 91.0% pure in the BDSM domain.
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 29%, based on a comparison of your test results with 12641 other submissions for this test.
The average purity for this test is 71.3%.

Strange. I guess i never quite realised how "Normal" i actually am.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I am 35% corrupt.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

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My favourites:

"Buttering up the whisker biscuit,
Impeaching Bush,
Menage a'moi."

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I rather liked these:
air the orchid
audition the finger puppets
Bailing out the Gravy Boat

I've always been partial to "clout the cookie" "club the clam" and "buffin` the muffin".

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

There's a great one that wasn't on the list there:

"Jilling off"

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

http://vorel.com/T-Barbie.htm

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

That was FUCK PISS COCK SUCK SHIT LICKER brilliant.

100th post

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.