FUCK YEAH!

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Poop.

I need mental floss just to get that out of my head. The trifecta of horrible songs.

Please tell me The Pina Colada Song was in no way involved. I couldn't handle it without medical help.

Oh, and "Wildfire."

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What others say about boorite!

She kept callin' Wiiiiiiiildfire....

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Best band names ever: (?)

Clock and Balls
A Drug Against War
Sorry About Dresden
Dog Eat Dogma
Chappaquiddick Skyline
The Revolting Cocks

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

John Cougar Concentration Camp

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

She kept callin' Wiiiiiiiildfire....

You IDIOT. She RAN calling "Wildfire." You've destroyed the delicate semantic web of this masterpiece.

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What others say about boorite!

Ha! Wasn't Mikey also the one who thought Huey Lewis was
singing, "and the old ones may be belly breathin'," in "Heart of Rock and Roll?"

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

No, umfum. I thought it was "the old boy may be belly-breathin'". At least I got the "old boy" part right, ya bastidd!

And boorite, I apologize for paying less attention to a shitty song than you did.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

That, and REO Speedealer are the only band names ever to make me bellylaugh.

P.S. According to rumor, Huey Lewis has the biggest penis in rock and roll. Elvis Costello #2.

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I has a flavor!

Worst band names ever, and a disclaimer: I neither endorse nor approve of these band names or the bands. I simply report them because they're the worst.

* Vaginal Blood Fart

* Jesus Hitler and the Shit Niggers

These were actual performing entities. I doubt that even they approved of their names.

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What others say about boorite!

The Impotent Sea Snakes closed my friend's bar. Man, they sucked.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

My band sucked at times, but never enough to close a bar. We've got bars busted by Vice, and we've knocked out power to bars, but I can proudly say that our badness never actually caused a business to close for good.

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What others say about boorite!

If it weren't for Marilyn Manson, Jesus Hitler would have been huge.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Th-Th-Th-Th-They say that Huey Lewis' schlong is enormous
What a useful fact to inform us
We're so jealous he can outperform us
'Cause Huey Lewis' schlong; Huey Lewis' schlong is enormous

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

If it weren't for Marilyn Manson, Jesus Hitler would have been huge.

Marilyn Manson is Top-40 marketable compared to Jesus Hitler and the Shit Niggers. That name is just a punch in the face to everything decent. And their music... let's just say "guitar shoes." They strapped electric guitars to their feet and walked around on them. I wish I was joking.

It was horrible, really. At the time, I wished it wasn't happening, but one thing is for sure: I remember them.

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What others say about boorite!

OK, now to live up to the title of this thread, a good song.

You've probably never heard this song, but it's Perfect. I hesitate to quote any part of it, because the whole thing just kills. It's "Rain, Steam, and Speed," by The Men They Couldn't Hang. Never heard of it or them, right? Well don't go out and buy the record, because honestly I couldn't warm up to the whole opus. But! Check out this opening line:

quote:

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One man drills a powder hole, the color of a bruise
One man blows a bugle, and another one lights a fuse

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quote:

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Brains and brawn, with hammers drawn
Blasting through the clay

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quote:

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quote:

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Brains and brawn, with hammers drawn
Blasting through the clay

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Good stuff, but why do I want to sing it to the tune of, "If a body meet a body, comin' through the rye"?

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Hmmm. I think the ISS closed several bars in my area.

But they couldn't hold a candle to this outfit:

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

quote:

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Best band names ever: (?)

Clock and Balls
A Drug Against War
Sorry About Dresden
Dog Eat Dogma
Chappaquiddick Skyline
The Revolting Cocks

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Even though I was once in a band that played a show to three drunk guys watching the Stanley Cup Final and in another band that once played for an audience consisting of the other band performing that night (thankfully, since they were a ska band, that meant there were at least 8 of them...), I never caused a bar to close. Lose money, yes. Close, no.

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I has a flavor!

I've played those kinda shows too. One time, the jukebox came alive during our set. I think it was just an automatic "attract sequence," but at the time I took it personally. I went down and vengefully unplugged it.

Every successful indie band has played those shows. Also the unsuccessful ones, like mine.

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What others say about boorite!