My mood ring says I am not happy and I will only be happy if I have sex with 47 Australian midgets.

Ballsacks: do you suck them?

Hell no.

Would anyone object if I stuffed all of the boy bands and pop singers into a small crate and floated them off to Guam?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

My exgirlfriend's sister would.

What's your Stripcreator Purity Test score?

45% pure.

Soo... You is fan of said bacon?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I only like Kosher Bacon.

Who wants cheesecake?

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Abe Vigoda.

Who farted?

Abe Vigoda.

Who's the man with the plan?

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Vabe Igoda

Who's your daddy?

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I'd rather not talk about my father. Doing so would cause me to foam at the mouth with anger and go into severe convulsions before throttling the closest person to me.

So which is better: having a candy bar stuck up your nose, or being forced to sit in a large glob of flan?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

There's always room for Flan!

My fawn has diarrhea, what should I do?

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Abe Vigoda says: "Two times with a partridge is eight times in a sink! Now where's my peanut butter?"

Wanna be a member? Wanna be a member?

I'm already a member, you beautiful asshole!

Why does chicken taste like chicken?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Because if it tasted like spinach, no one would eat it except for the weirdos in my family.

Can I have more acorn squash, Mommy?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Only if you finish your beer nuts.

Where are my damn socks?

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

They're damned, so they're in Satan's sock drawer.

Where's the beef?

---
"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

The Faroe Islands.

Would you like me to seduce you?

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I has a flavor!

Not without a nice big juicy bowl of banana pudding.

Can I borrow a dollar?

No. And no, you can't borrow my shiny silver pants either, so give em back!

If a man farts in the forest and all the trees die, did he eat fried onions for supper?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

No, he inhaled a bottle of lighter fluid.

What's the deal with airline peanuts?

---
It's grime time.

They're made of teflon.

Why does your mom keep calling me?

---
"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

You left your g-string at her house.

Can I play with madness?

As long as you have enough to share with the rest of the class!

Can I borrow a feeling?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

No, but I can lend you a jar of love.

Who farted?

Jesus.

What exactly IS the fabeled 'hockey secret'?

---
Legalize Love!

Mario Lemieux enjoys buttsex.

Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

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I has a flavor!