You continue to amaze. Keep up the good work.

Your Age Is Showing by ragu4u 4-19-12

Dick Clark, best known for hosting "America's Rockin Eve" died recently.... ...of a massive heart attack. "America's Rockin Eve"?? Whew! I almost thought it was the Dick Clark who hosted "American Bandstand". I woulda missed HIM. Fuck that OTHER Dick!

Seeking Guidance by ragu4u 4-19-12

Father, what should I do. They got me on tape screaming about the damned Jews. Well, Mr. Gibson, you do seem to have a temper. Call me Mel, Padre. But I really need to know how to fix this "Jewish" problem. You can always refer to the Pope Pius XII handbook for dealing in such matters. Didn't he just let Hitler do anything he wanted to the Jews. Yes. He even gave it a name. He called it "laissez faire", I think.

Presidential Briefing by ragu4u 4-20-12

The Secret Service sure blew this thing with those prostitutes, eh Mr. President? Isn't it... ...the prostitutes who do the blowing?

Party like it's 1889 by ragu4u 4-21-12

How could you forget? It's bigger than Christmas. Yeah, yeah...blah blah blah. So don't let it happen again. Sheesh, these skinheads are sticklers! OK now... Yahoo Reminders...4/20/1889 ... Adolph Hitler's birthday! Perfect!

Going Down? by ragu4u 4-22-12

Excuse me, stewardess, but do ANY planes land safely here in Pakistan? I can say with certainty, this one... ...won't!

Trial & Error by ragu4u 4-22-12

I wonder if this ray-gun has a "Freeze" mode on it? He's got to be... Oops! Guess not.

The Fan by ragu4u 4-22-12

Sorry I went a little long today with my sermon. I hope you won't miss brunch with your loving children. Well Padre..... ...I can forgive you for causing me to miss brunch but.... ...if you make me miss another NASCAR race I'm gonna have to fuck you up!

"That's the way it is." by ragu4u 4-23-12

THIS JUST IN: George Zimmerman released on $150,000.00 bail. Let's check with our man on the street for reaction. Bob? About what you'd expect, Ted!

Love on the Rocks by ragu4u 4-23-12

Neil Diamond to marry. How the heck do they know? He hasn't even asked me yet.

The Morgue Diaries by ragu4u 4-23-12

And don't forget to sweep in the corners, too.   ?   Forget you! I'm not the cleaning lady. Why don't YOU put this broom to use yourself? Alright. Uncover the body and sterilize its anus. I"m taking it to the bristles today!

No Strip Today

Can't type in handcuffs!

by ragu4u, 4-24-12

Used Goods by ragu4u 4-25-12

I'm offering a million bucks on my website to anyone who can prove Tim Tebow isn't a virgin but nobody is responding. I wonder why? Dag nabit! I'd like that million bucks but alls I got is them thar photos of Tim Tebow in a sheep orgy. So did you bring the photos? They're in my hotel room but.....but....they got kleenex stuck to em.

Image is Everything by ragu4u 4-26-12

Let's move it along. Nothing to see here. Are you kidding? There are blood and guts everywhere. Really? If he'd just take off those stupid sunglasses....

Hey Big Spender by ragu4u 4-27-12

Barry, I'm ready for another vacation with the girls. Damn Michelle, ya just got back and that one cost me $487,000.00! You mean it cost the tax payers $487,000.00. True. True. I'll help ya pack.

Twisted Logic by ragu4u 4-28-12

I wish our landlord would build us a deck. He won't. He's afraid to. Afraid? Afraid of what? ...of people calling us names. If they got no porch they can't be called porch monkeys. Oh yes they can!

The Love Connection by ragu4u 4-28-12

Mind if I join you? Another fan of "The Human Centipede 2", I take it? Gotta go! Rats!

Not All Angels Have Wings by ragu4u 4-29-12

Father, the church was almost empty again this Sunday. Yes, my child. Tis very sad. Our Parish will be broke soon, Father. Not to worry, Sister. God may send us a miracle. ...and God delivered! You're from my church? Show me some I.D. I got your I.D. hanging right here buddy. Now cough up your tithe.

Give Him a Hand! by ragu4u 4-29-12

Mmmm. I never ate a 3 handed clown before. What the f...? Run you fat "Bait & switch" mother fucker! chomp, chomp

"Keeping Up With the Kardashians" by ragu4u 4-30-12

Hmmm. Now THOSE are asses.

The Daily Pick by ragu4u 4-30-12

I'm always a benchwarmer. I never get picked. Oh my...but do you look studly or what? Stay calm. Stay calm. I think I'm about to get picked AND poked all in one hour! Oh please, come with me. We'll play "Hide the Salami". Nes pa?

Spoke Too Soon by ragu4u 5-01-12

The folks on "Stripcreator.com" are in great form today. Every comic was hilarious and there was no squabbling or name calling. That ragu4u is such an unfunny nimrod, loser! Say wha?   ?

Makin a List & Checkin it Twice by ragu4u 5-01-12

Did you see this? "Octo-mom" is gonna make a masturbation video. Really? Who'd pay to see THAT? Some people would just watch to see what all she might stick in herself. Ya think? Well, maybe not. That's pretty sick. Dildo, banana, fist, Hebrew National Salami, crowbar, fencepost,swimming noodle, baseball bat...

What Tony Award? by ragu4u 5-01-12

You likey? These Asian kidee-porn conventions rock! Ruv you rong time. Kidee-porn convention, my ass. This is "Miss Saigon". Now shut up!

The Ugly Duckling by ragu4u 5-02-12

We're wanting to shoot that insurance commercial. Where's the "Afflack" duck? He's getting grief from the N.A.A.C.P. but not to worry, they're sending a replacement. Whatever. Start as soon as he arrives. An hour later... Oh God! HE'S the replacement? S'up, my brutha man? Fashizzle my "Afflack" dizzle! Ya feel me?