Create Your Own, Vol. 1 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Classic Jazz Tune... Step 1: State tuneful, recognizable melody. Step 2: Noodle for 6-10 minutes. Step 3: Restate tuneful, recognizable melody.

Create Your Own, Vol. 2 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Death Metal Anthem... Step 1: Scream unintelligible lyrics, but throw in comprehensible "death," "blood," "whore," and "murder" occasionally. Step 2: Crunch power chords at insane speed. Solo. Step 3: Repeat song title 4x for Chorus. Step 4: Solo. Step 5: Repeat first verse and Chorus. Step 6: Thrash until fade.

Create Your Own, Vol. 3 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Blues... Step 1: Play blues progression. Step 2: Complain about your woman (repeat). Step 3: Complain about your finances (repeat). Step 4: Complain about your dog (repeat). Solo. Step 5: Talk about how you're going to get rid of your woman and dog so you'll have more money. Step 6: Wail until end.

Create Your Own, Vol. 4 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Country Song... Step 1: Play country progression. Step 2: Complain about your woman. Step 3: Compliment your dog. Step 4: Complain about your finances. Step 5: Fiddle/Steel Guitar Solo. Step 6: Tell how you got drunk, spent all your money, shot your woman, runned over your dog, and ended up in prison. Wail until end.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Create Your Own, Vol. 5 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Rap... Step 1: Sample James Brown or Parliament/Funkadelic. Step 2: Brag about your mic skillz. Step 2: Brag about your cash flow. Step 4: Brag about your sexual prowess. Step 5: DJ Scratch. Step 6: Complain about your record label. Curse until fade.

Create Your Own, Vol. 6 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Weird Al Parody... Step 1: Pick a popular song. Step 2: Rewrite lyrics in a semi-funny way. Step 3: Polka! Step 4: Split royalties with original recording artist while still making a very comfortable living for yourself.

Create Your Own, Vol. 7 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Sadcore... Step 1: Stare at shoes. Step 2: Have band play droning minor chords. Step 3: Mumble about your sorry-ass, loser life. Step 4: Overdose on pills in Motel 6.

Create Your Own, Vol. 8 by umfumdisi 9-25-03

Southern Rock Epic... Step 1: State engaging melody via three-guitar attack. Step 2: Sing about how bad things was back home. Step 3: Jam for 5 minutes + solo for each guitar. Step 4: Sing about how much you miss being back home. Step 5: Jam for 5 minutes + each guitar trades licks. Step 6: Repeat song title in meaningful way until false ending. End with 1 minute guitar frenzy.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Everything I ever needed to know about music, I learned from umfum. I especially liked the one about the shoe-gazing rock star.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Haha, Sadcore *Looks down at shoes* Damn... sad... =D

A tribute:

Create your own: Limited Edition Disc 1. Bad Drum and Bass by jes_lawson 9-28-03

Step 1 - Two step or Amen breakbeat, the same one you've heard a hundred times... Dumph-CHAK! pch-CHAK!Dumph-CHAK! pch-CHAK! Work self into lather, rinse it out, repeat! Step 2: Same atonal bassline -----------BRRRRRRRMPOH!--------------------------Here! What's with the gay guitar? Step 3. MC Verbal Diarroehea disguises the fact you have a formulaic vinyl dropping of a record. Skib-di-bi maa buh-bu-MAA buh-bu-MAH! Skib-di-bi maa buh bu MAA buh bu MAH! YO! What's with the gay guitar, bitch?

Because bad drum and bass is like being sexually assaulted in the ear by a sewing machine.

The good stuff, however, is like silky liquid funk. But the bad stuff had it coming.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.